A Woman's Self-esteem: Struggles and Triumphs in the Search for Identity [Hardcover]

Though smaller and less ambitious than most of Branden's other works (such as the brilliant Art of Living Consciously), two women I know have reacted very favorably to this book, which suggests to me that it could be a useful primer on Branden's approach.

The book's modest size (and attractive cover art, I should add) may be an advantage in this regard. While intellectual purists might still prefer a tome, many people prefer a small book with essentialized information. A Woman's Self-Esteem is a good example in this regard.

Most of the book's chapters are expanded versions of articles Branden published in New Woman magazine in the early 90s. While many of the book's themes will of course apply to men as well as women, Branden's primary focus is on the challenges facing women: How to embrace their own strengths when doing so may not be fashionable, how to be assertive in a job or in a relationship, how to keep appropriate boundaries.

As with his other books on self-esteem, Branden devotes the first several chapters to summarizing his overall theory, and I found these to be among his most elegant summaries ever. Although I personally enjoyed the book as a whole, one mild disappointment for me was the chapter on "Embracing Our Strengths." Here Branden addresses the difficulty some women experience in finding the will and inspiration to assert their own intelligence and individuality. He addresses a number of helpful issues in this regard, but fails to mention the powerful function of good art. Since he is well aware of the role of art in inspiring heroic behavior, I found this omission puzzling.

Ayn Rand admirers will find interesting the last chapter of the book, which is a reprint of Branden's essay "Was Ayn Rand a Feminist?" from the anthology Feminist Interpretations of Ayn Rand (co-edited by Chris Sciabarra and Mimi Gladstein). Branden concludes the essay: "Where did Ayn Rand stand with respect to feminism (a term she never liked)? A feminism that sees woman at her best as a heroic figure will find support and validation in Rand's writings. A feminism that defines woman as victim and man as her evil oppressor will see Rand as the enemy -- because Rand sees woman not as weak but as strong, and because Rand sees romantic love between man and woman as an expression and celebration of their esteem for each other as well as their esteem for themselves."

One major yardstick for judging a book such as this one is the extent to which is encourages people (and women in particular) who might never do so to think deeply and clearly about the role of self-esteem in their own life. It seems to me the book will be very useful in this regard.

I'll start off with the positives: The ideas presented in this small book are a short recap of one of his other books: The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem with examples drawn from women's lives. His assertion that we need to live consciously, purposefully and with integrity, embrace our strengths, accept and assert ourselves, as well as take responsibility for our own lives and happiness is certainly helpful and worth reading - and living! The examples he gives are no-brainers and over-simplified. By that I mean that he tends to give situations where the person is clearly doing something harmful and is the cause (usually the sole cause) of her own pain or, otherwise, where people who care about her and are reasonable are the cause of it. This is a pretty common in books and not a major flaw but very disappointing when you have to deal with the more difficult, complex and gut-wrenching realities of life and can find little help in such books. There are times when we have to deal with unreasonable, uncaring people who are causing you real damage to our lives. The author also glosses over the difficulty of ending long-term, important relationships when you know they are harmful to you. You get the feeling that his own limited experiences (a white, well educated, well-to-do, older man) prevent him from seeing the injustices in our society and make him believe - and teach - that simple self-adjustments are all that are needed. One star was deducted because of this.

Then comes the essay in the appendix that takes away the other two stars from the rating. It is entitled "Was Ayn Rand a Feminist?" Here are a couple of quotes from this essay:

"She was always pleased when someone told her 'she thought like a man.' And yet, when asked if she would have preferred to be born a man, she invariably answered, "God no! Because then I'd have to be in love with a woman!"

Another quote:

"...The black dress seemed excessively revealing - because it was astonishing to discover that the lines of her shoulder were fragile and beautiful, and that the diamond band on the wrist of her naked arm gave her the most feminine of all aspects: the look of being chained."

Also:

"Ayn Rand was a ferociously intellectual, proudly self-assertive powerhouse of independence who described herself as a "man-worshipper."

And last but not least he quotes Ayn Rand:

"I see man as superior to woman" "...man is bigger, stronger, faster - better able to cope with nature"

To my sadness and near shock, Branden goes on to justify everything she has said and condemn none of it as destructive misogynism. In a book about women's self-esteem, stating and defending these ideas is so destructive that I wanted to go down to 1 star. But, as I said in the beginning of my review, he has some useful and good ideas. Unfortunately, they are contradicted in the essay.

In The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem he states: "It would be hard to name a more certain sign of poor self-esteem than the need to perceive some other group as inferior." Branden would have done well to be more conscious and to have more self-esteem when he wrote the essay on Ayn Rand. He seems to have been convinced by her (grudgingly, of course) that women are inferior to men. If he were more conscious, he might have countered her reasons for finding men superior with a couple of rather obvious responses. Isn't giving birth an important role in nature? Do you consider a donkey superior to men because it is stronger?

As for the image of women being chained, he defended that as being OK because it refers to her sexual aspect only and that fantasies of being ravished or overcome by a dominant male figure are transcultural and it would be absurd to insist that they tell us nothing about the female psyche. It does. It says that the female psych has been damaged in almost every culture. For a great book, if you're truly interested in this subject, you can read Riane Eisler's Sacred Pleasure. I found that book to be truly eye-opening.

Branden concludes that only "A feminism that defines woman as victim and man as her evil oppressor will see Rand as the enemy..." Not true! A feminism that does not see men or women as inferior, one that sees both men and women as lovable, one that sees men as people for women to love - not worship - will see Rand's ideas as the enemy! Her ideas are clearly an enemy to a Woman's self-esteem and it is very, very, sad that they are defended in a book that's supposed to help women with self-esteem!

Here is a link to the book I recommend if you want to understand how our sexual fantasies have been influenced.

Sacred Pleasure: Sex, Myth, and the Politics of the Body--New Paths to Power and Love

"Self-esteem empowers, energizes, and motivates. It inspires us to achieve and allows us to take pleasure and pride in our achievements." ~ pg. 5

Nathaniel Branden has written a truly useful book that speaks of transformation instead of just more information. He could have spoken of self-esteem in technical terms but instead he decided to make his writing very personal and helpful. This is a book about accepting yourself and not being afraid of being a success.

There is some good information on what could be considered to be "poison to your self-esteem." As Nathaniel Branden says: "Integrity is one of the guardians of mental health." I thought he had interesting thoughts about jealousy and how to handle anger. While this book brings a deeper understanding of self-esteem, can this book enhance your self-esteem? Yes if you take action and complete some of the "sentence-completion" exercises.

It is also helpful to note that you can't violate your sense of right and wrong because that can lead to anxiety, depression and insomnia. I found that to be enlightening but have mostly learned that from my own bad decisions throughout my life. This book can help you analyze why you have poor self-esteem and it can show you the way to being more authentic in your daily life. By applying some of the principles in this book you could see a transformation in your relationships and personal life.

Just by the way, I didn't read the included essay. Why it is included is beyond me.

~The Rebecca Review