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A Woman in Your Own Right: Assertiveness and You [Illustrated] [Paperback]

Anne Dickson , Kate Charlesworth
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
RRP: 8.00
Price: 7.59 & FREE Delivery in the UK on orders over 10. Details
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Book Description

1 Sep 1982
Anne Dickson defines assertiveness as the art of clear, honest and direct communication. An assertive approach builds self-esteem and strengthens our ability to make our own choices in life, by helping us to manage the anxiety and stress of communicating in difficult situations. Instead of being governed by the need to either please or blame others, assertiveness teaches us to take responsibility for our own feelings and behaviour. Recommended by psychotherapists, doctors, agony aunts, journalists, teachers and, most importantly, by millions of women all around the world who have been inspired and empowered by this book.

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A Woman in Your Own Right: Assertiveness and You + The Mirror Within: A New Look At Sexuality + Difficult Conversations: What to say in tricky situations without ruining the relationship
Price For All Three: 21.09

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Product details

  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Quartet Books (1 Sep 1982)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0704334208
  • ISBN-13: 978-0704334205
  • Product Dimensions: 12.6 x 19.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 35,396 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Inside This Book (Learn More)
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
83 of 84 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A rare find of a book. 9 Sep 2005
By A Customer
The lower number of stars given by other reviewers appears to be by way of comment on self-help books in general rather than this particular one. I think that is a great shame because it gives a misleading impression of the quality of this book.
The topic is covered thoroughly, addressing all the issues that I had encountered with the problem and alerting me to several more than I hadn't even recognised in myself but once pointed out were clearly present. It then provides an understanding and intelligent account of how and why the issues come about and most importantly, ways to deal with them.
It isn't a book that you can read and the problem is solved. It involves putting the ideas into practice and that takes effort and time. However, even after the first read I felt supported and more confident, just by understanding the problem. It made sense of issues that I had previously spent a long time piecing together and had still not understood and it is clear that the author has a deep understanding of the problem and significant experience in dealing with it.
I have sent copies to most of my close friends as it is so comprehensive as to be useful even to people who are, on the face of it, quite assertive and confident.
I also recommend it equally, despite the title, for men as well as women.
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29 of 29 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I met the author and it changed my life 12 Jan 2008
I had to read this book before attending an assertiveness course at work run by the author

The book and the course inspired me to change my job (not what my employers had in mind by sending me on it I imagine)
move house 200 miles, join a gym and lose 2 stone in weight
and learn to say no which is why i went on the course in 1st place

The book is not a classic introspective self help guide - it helped me to make difficult decisions by better understanding what types of people I surrounded myself with/ was surrounded by and how very differently I was able to deal with different types of people over similar issues. I achieved more consistency in my reactions to people and events and I
other people's positive reactions to this helped consolidate this

READ IT! Men as well as women.
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39 of 42 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A positive way of being in the world 26 May 2009
I love this book. The author lists 11 basic rights. For some people they might seem self-evident but they weren't in my case and putting them into practice changed my view of being in the world quite profoundly.

The rights are:
I have the right to state my own needs and set my own priorities as a person independent of any roles that I may assume in my life
I have the right to be treated with respect as an intelligent capable and equal human being
I have the right to express my feelings
I have the right to express my opinions and values
I have the right to say "yes" or "no" for myself
I have the right to make mistakes
I have the right to change my mind
I have the right to say I don't understand
I have the right to have the right to ask for what I want
I have the right to decline responsibility for other people's problems
I have the right to deal with others without being dependent on them for approval

In relating to other I can be
Passive - giving up my rights
Aggressive - forcing other to give up their rights
Indirect - manipulating others to get what I want
Assertive - Ensuring that my rights are respected as well as respecting the rights of others

I could quote whole passages from the book but if you only wanted to read one chapter then it would have to be, `Saying No'. In my experience being assertive has helped me state who I am as well as acknowledge differences in others. I find it a "a way of being" that genuinely honours both myself and the other person or group I am dealing with.
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69 of 76 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A life-changing read! 14 Oct 2001
By A Customer
I couldn't put this book down! My life has changed dramatically since reading it - I now have the respect of peers and family and I can't thank Anne Dickson enough!
This book is written so well that even the most abused doormat of a woman will want to change - all women will see themselves amongst the pages.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars almost perfect 27 Mar 2011
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I was lent this book in 2000 by a friend. I bought my own copy this year and re-read it. I have since bought copies for half a dozen friends, mainly, but not exclusively, women.

I do wish this rare gem of an author would write a unisex version. Gay men are going to be willing to give it a try, but probably most straight men will be put off by the title. This is a shame, because this is great stuff, beautifully expressed and relevant to everyone.

I bought the book while feeling pretty good about my own life, but decided I should re-read it before magnaminously sorting out the lives of my friends. How wrong I was. I realised by the last chapter that I had been working quite often in critical mode, subtly pushing people's guilt buttons, and then blaming them when they responded badly.

A very big plus is that, in a field dominated by Americans, this author is English, so she is more reflective, more low-key, and able to appeal to a broad range of people, from the New Age junkie to the sceptical hard-nosed intellectual. There is also nothing here which could conflict with any form of religious faith, or none.

If I have one reservation, it is that in some - not all - of the given examples I feel the assertive person verges on the unfeeling, if not rude. I once worked with a woman in a small department and her response to any request was: "No, I don't want to do that." The impression was a lack of willingness to consider anyone's needs except her own.

Does Anne Dickson get the balance perfectly right between assertiveness and selfishness? Not always. For this reason I give this otherwise brilliant book four stars.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Book
The book purchased was used as I knew but sadly with books nowadays the glue that keeps the pages in is dry and nod or two pages have fallen out since starting to use it.
Published 3 months ago by Rosemary Charnick
4.0 out of 5 stars Really quick service
The book condition is fine, but probably more used and yellowing than I would have liked. However, for the price its a bargain! Read more
Published 5 months ago by Annemarie
5.0 out of 5 stars very helpful
very helpful reading learning what you dealing with in regard to other people and their behaviour towards you and how you deal with them.
Published 9 months ago by Ann
5.0 out of 5 stars A Woman in your own right: Assertiveness and You
Brilliant read A Woman in Your Own Right - value for money and very useful information - I would recommend
Published 9 months ago by Norton33
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
Good book and thanks Ann for your insights, it's always good to read self-help books, I haven't finished it yet, but hope to over the holidays
Published 9 months ago by Laura
5.0 out of 5 stars Anne Dickson
I had attended a relationship therapist and she recommended this book for me to read. I am still to read it
Published 9 months ago by DUNDAS45
5.0 out of 5 stars A Woman in Your Own Right (Book)
Together with Anne's other book 'The Mirror Within' this book should be compulsory reading for every young girl on the threshold of puberty. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Patricia J Lawler
5.0 out of 5 stars A great book
This was recommended to me, and has transformed the way I interact with others and has helped me be assertive without being agressive!
Published 13 months ago by Melusine
5.0 out of 5 stars A well written, common sense approach.
This was written in 1982 and is still totally relevant for the 21st century. It has hepled me to realise that I'm ok and shouldn't be walked over but at the same time it's given me... Read more
Published 15 months ago by Mrs Susan Banks
4.0 out of 5 stars A Woman in Your Own Right
I would recommend this book to all women, it helps to build confidence and deal with situations you may avoided dealing with. It challenges you.
Published 20 months ago by Julia Belingy
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