Why Women Have Sex
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Product Description
Review
`undeniably fascinating' --Sunday Telegraph, Seven, Holly Kyte
Book Description
Why Women Have Sex is a fascinating exploration of the mysteries underlying women's sexuality that rivals the culture-shifting Kinsey Report.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
20 of 23 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This book is not salacious or titillating in any way. It's a serious and thought-provoking examination of what motivates both sexes both psychologically and biologically. It could easily be called 'Why People Have Relationships' (although it would likely sell less) and the focus on women is mainly because, for reasons well documented in the book, women's sexual behaviour is far more complex than that of men -- principally because of the female's much higher personal committment to the reproductive process.
There's a lot of psychology and some fairly detailed biology about how genitals function but there's surprisingly little detail about sexual acts themselves. The authors seem to have taken the sensible decision that there's a whole range of activities that people term sex and that it's irrelevant for the purposes of the book exactly what happens during these moments of intimacy. The book is far more about what brings people together to want (or, in some cases, not want) to have sex.
A lot of the conclusions seem to support most people's anecdotal observation but it's interesting to read the explanations. Some readers might not welcome the grounding of what they might see as steretypes in scientific theory -- why women (in general) find tall, athletic, masculine, symmetrical males to be most attractive. What's probably most fascinating is the analysis of ways that women find to control men. Despite the authors' assertion that biology impels women to be choosy about their mate and to believe that 'good men' are a scarce resource, they have developed extremely effective tactics to make their man 'behave' -- usually related to using their sexual behaviour as a 'reward'. One fascinating anthropological study is quoted that shows that in no human society do women ever give more gifts to men than men to women -- the implication is that sex itself is treated as a gift.
I doubt whether any man will pick up clues from this book that will enable him to pick up women more easily -- there's a whole section on women's strategies against this sort of deception. However, it might re-inforce genuine behaviours that will help make a more successful relationship. One slightly unpalatable message is that in evolutionary biology terms that life isn't fair -- we're not all equal and pure physical attraction is one of the main motivating factors for both sexes.
There's a lot of psychology and some fairly detailed biology about how genitals function but there's surprisingly little detail about sexual acts themselves. The authors seem to have taken the sensible decision that there's a whole range of activities that people term sex and that it's irrelevant for the purposes of the book exactly what happens during these moments of intimacy. The book is far more about what brings people together to want (or, in some cases, not want) to have sex.
A lot of the conclusions seem to support most people's anecdotal observation but it's interesting to read the explanations. Some readers might not welcome the grounding of what they might see as steretypes in scientific theory -- why women (in general) find tall, athletic, masculine, symmetrical males to be most attractive. What's probably most fascinating is the analysis of ways that women find to control men. Despite the authors' assertion that biology impels women to be choosy about their mate and to believe that 'good men' are a scarce resource, they have developed extremely effective tactics to make their man 'behave' -- usually related to using their sexual behaviour as a 'reward'. One fascinating anthropological study is quoted that shows that in no human society do women ever give more gifts to men than men to women -- the implication is that sex itself is treated as a gift.
I doubt whether any man will pick up clues from this book that will enable him to pick up women more easily -- there's a whole section on women's strategies against this sort of deception. However, it might re-inforce genuine behaviours that will help make a more successful relationship. One slightly unpalatable message is that in evolutionary biology terms that life isn't fair -- we're not all equal and pure physical attraction is one of the main motivating factors for both sexes.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
David Buss has developed a special interest in the evolutionary psychology of sexuality, and presents us in this volume with some of the latest research, which involves tapping into the experience of hundreds of interviewed women.
Most of it is unsurprising : separation of mating from oestrus serves towards prevention of straying (`mate guarding') ; sex generates oxytocinon and reinforces pairbonding (`coalescing' as one woman described it).
Quite a bit is mundane: women acknowledge the attractiveness of `good gene' signals (eg athleticism; masculinity ) and `reliable partner' signals (eg agreement; `feeling connected' ;not too much masculinity)
Some of it is trivial: olfactory sense is a factor; liaisons can serve to enhance self esteem.
Work like this helps distinguish myth from reality; but overall, there isn't much new here.
Most of it is unsurprising : separation of mating from oestrus serves towards prevention of straying (`mate guarding') ; sex generates oxytocinon and reinforces pairbonding (`coalescing' as one woman described it).
Quite a bit is mundane: women acknowledge the attractiveness of `good gene' signals (eg athleticism; masculinity ) and `reliable partner' signals (eg agreement; `feeling connected' ;not too much masculinity)
Some of it is trivial: olfactory sense is a factor; liaisons can serve to enhance self esteem.
Work like this helps distinguish myth from reality; but overall, there isn't much new here.
18 of 21 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
What a great cocktail of evolutionary psychology/biology and women's sexuality. Amazing read. I've been searching for a book with such mix of topics for a while now. I am new to this topic but after reading "The Mating Mind" by Geoffrey Miller, "The Red Queen" by Matt Ridley and "The Selfish Gene" by Richard Dawkins this is probably the best place to start for anyone new to this field (evolutionary psychology and human nature/sexuality) or wants to understand women, dating, sex or relationships from a evolutionary point of view. The book is filled with a lot of great topics, backed by years of research study, surveys, facts and personal accounts from many women. But don't get fooled by the title, it is not just about "Why" and "Women", there is plenty about the way men behave as well.
And for the guys in the "seduction community", PUA or dating coaching this is one to keep on your shelf (or the coffee table ;) if you don't want to read through thousands of pages on in-depth evolutionary psychology/biology in the above mentioned books. You'll be surprised how much you'll learn about not just women but about yourself as well along some eye opening and sometimes scary insights. This is one book David DeAngelo would definitely recommend in any of his seminars, it is just a matter of time now.
And for the guys in the "seduction community", PUA or dating coaching this is one to keep on your shelf (or the coffee table ;) if you don't want to read through thousands of pages on in-depth evolutionary psychology/biology in the above mentioned books. You'll be surprised how much you'll learn about not just women but about yourself as well along some eye opening and sometimes scary insights. This is one book David DeAngelo would definitely recommend in any of his seminars, it is just a matter of time now.
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