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Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship Paperback – 1 Jan 2004


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Product details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Adams Media Corporation; 6th edition (1 Jan. 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1580627560
  • ISBN-13: 978-1580627566
  • Product Dimensions: 14 x 1.8 x 21.6 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (356 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 2,267 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

Review

"If you've been too nice, run out and get this book now!" -Ellen Fein & Sherrie Snyder, authors of the bestseller The Rules

About the Author

SHERRY ARGOV is the author of Why Men Marry Bitches, and her writing has appeared in over fifty magazines including People, Elle, Glamour, Esquire, and Cosmopolitan. Her work has been featured nationally on The Today Show, The View, MSNBC, Fox News Channel, and MTV. A first-class theater production abroad, her live play has topped Billboard charts for three consecutive years, and received critical acclaim. Her work is currently published throughout the world in over thirty languages. For more information, visit Sherry's Web site at .

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Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Nora Jones on 5 Jan. 2010
Format: Paperback
This book has completely shocked me into realising where I have been going wrong in relationships. I was initially put off by the word 'Bitch' in the title but the author uses it to mean a woman who is kind, and feminine, but who also knows how to stand up for herself and what she wants in a relationship. This is very much a feminist's book - it is not demeaning in any way but works to empower women to value themselves and realise how they should expect to be treated in a relationship. It is also a useful and practical guide on how to play 'the game' - something I never really understood but this book does make you realise how important that is. Not because love is a game, but because men expect the chase, and enjoy it - when things come too easy it is less valued. Overall, a worthwhile book for anyone in and out of relationships as a reminder of the importance of being a 'bitch'.
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218 of 232 people found the following review helpful By L. Power TOP 500 REVIEWER on 10 Nov. 2008
Format: Paperback
Firstly, in this book BITCH means Babe In Total Control Of Herself.

She gives you priciples not 'rules' to transform from ignored or taken for granted doormat to relentlessly pursued dreamgirl, who is independent, strong, and not needy.

Initially, I wondered if Sherry is a guy, because she is so onto us. To her credit she did interview many men, to get these deep insights. In fact she has compiled our secret playbook.

I wonder if it is a good thing to have too many of our deep secrets in female hands, because it forces us to change our lazy relationship ways.

There is a self improvement principle - you teach people how to treat you. So do what you have always done, and get what you always got, or teach them how to treat you right.

So when Sherry suggests, acting a little aloof at first, this may seem counterintuitive, but it works. Staying out of relationship mode for a while, bypasses our natural defenses, and it works. Not giving away your personal power by being too much of a pleaser works. Communicating succinctly, I like that one.

Probably the most important lesson from this book is the importance of communication. A woman who calls a guy on his behavior, is showing several powerful things, she demonstrates higher value by not accepting bad behavior, she is not afraid to convey her feelings even if this might offend the guy, she is not timid and unassertive, she keeps the lines of communication honest, and open.

You will win some and lose some by following the advice in this book. Following this advice too rigidly will not work. It is a matter of finding a balance, and using what works for you. Think of this book as training wheels.
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20 of 21 people found the following review helpful By Camel's Toe on 2 Jan. 2011
Format: Paperback
This book has changed forever how I deal with men and relationships. I was a doormat, as ARGOV puts it. I didn't know any different but I know it didn't feel good and that the men got bored as quickly as I became obsessed with them. I read this book and had to keep putting it down to say a silent "YES!" to myself.
Why is it so good? Because ARGOV is not talking about being nasty. Shes not encouraging you to behave like a spoiled princess. Shes not teaching you ways to make men like you - thank God. Shes teaching you how to remain in control of your emotions and to retain your sanity which has the happy result of making you more desirable but, above all, calmer and less frantic. The part I keep returning to mentally is - "men respond best to NO CONTACT". When a guy has upset me, instead of nagging and getting insecure like the old me would have done, I now just let it lie and don't speak to him for a bit until I am no longer emotionally overwhelmed. I go off and do my own thing.
It really goes back to the old "acting as if" formula. A bitch is a girl who puts herself first - not in a selfish, ruthless way but as we all should at times in order to break the cycle of neediness and co-dependency. She is a girl who does right by herself and doesn't exhaust herself trying to please someone else. If you act like that, eventually you become like that and as ARGOV says "act like a prize and you'll turn him into a believer".
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Daisy Brown on 26 Aug. 2010
Format: Paperback
This is a must for newbie daters.......myself included!

It teaches you to be a a 'subtle' bitch. I realised I am already a bit of a bitch but I wanted to confirm whether I was over stepping the line or not....I wasn't! The book teaches you to say 'No' without feeling guilty or needing an excuse, it shows ways to keep his interest by using your attitude but at the same time making your man feel special, teaches you independence is a special thing (including financial independence), to love yourself and have your own friends and social life.
Only criticism I can find is that it does put 'do's' and 'don'ts' in the book which I felt I could not stick too even if I tried e.g. make him pay for the first few dates - personally I would feel uncomfortable doing this. Also 'let him be last to tx back' - sometimes this is just not practical.

The book says that if he calls you a 'bitch' then you have succeeded! I have been called it once in the 3 months I have been dating by my current man. Although calling someone a bitch can vary in how you are called it e.g. being shouted at and called a bitch rather than a friendly 'God your such a bitch' with a smile. The book strongly puts across don't put up with any form of violence and puts strong boundaries out there to ensure you do not get sucked into this vicious cycle.

Basically the moral is:
Do not make him feel he has 100% control over you..........maintain your sense of self, independence and mystery and you are all his!

I know SO many women who need this book and already recommended it to 2 of my closest female friends.
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