Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship [Paperback]

Firstly, in this book BITCH means Babe In Total Control Of Herself.

She gives you priciples not 'rules' to transform from ignored or taken for granted doormat to relentlessly pursued dreamgirl, who is independent, strong, and not needy.

Initially, I wondered if Sherry is a guy, because she is so onto us. To her credit she did interview many men, to get these deep insights. In fact she has compiled our secret playbook.

I wonder if it is a good thing to have too many of our deep secrets in female hands, because it forces us to change our lazy relationship ways.

There is a self improvement principle - you teach people how to treat you. So do what you have always done, and get what you always got, or teach them how to treat you right.

So when Sherry suggests, acting a little aloof at first, this may seem counterintuitive, but it works. Staying out of relationship mode for a while, bypasses our natural defenses, and it works. Not giving away your personal power by being too much of a pleaser works. Communicating succinctly, I like that one.

Probably the most important lesson from this book is the importance of communication. A woman who calls a guy on his behavior, is showing several powerful things, she demonstrates higher value by not accepting bad behavior, she is not afraid to convey her feelings even if this might offend the guy, she is not timid and unassertive, she keeps the lines of communication honest, and open.

You will win some and lose some by following the advice in this book. Following this advice too rigidly will not work. It is a matter of finding a balance, and using what works for you. Think of this book as training wheels.

This book, is very good, and I probably should not recommend it but I do.

The bit about faking the orgasm, some reviewers don't like. As Sherry is a stand up comedian, this piece is just supposed to be humorous. In reality, you are teaching the guy that is he is already good enough, whereas some improvement might be required.

Some of the anecdotal advice is funny but extreme. The booty call guy left standing in the rain outside his apartment got his just desserts, but the red panties in the laundry tactic was too much.

My personal opinion, is we men are not that smart at non verbal communication, so things need to be spelled out more.

We also have a limited capacity for processing verbal information, in fact we go into safety shut down after about 30 seconds of talking. After that point, we just nod and grunt as if we are following along.

I hope you find this review helpful.

This is the first time i've written a review - that's how much i was impressed by this book! Having been brought up to be a nice girl and always being the one to give her time, efforts & energies - i now realise that putting yourself first isn't selfish - it's essential - the old cliche if you don't value yourself - why should others? rings true.
In the past, i've always been the one to show I care first - make that special effort - but no more - now i'll let myself sit back & enjoy being wooed - without the feeling I don't deserve it.
Truly a life changing book - BUY IT TODAY!!!!

An easy and very insightful read for anyone wondering why they can't keep a relationship and those that needs to blow of a few cobwebs in their current relationship. I have a single friend who has men falling over themselves to be with her and since reading this book it's become apparent that she has been running these set of rules inadvertently, proof that they do work.

The title is a little deceptive. It's not about being mean and hard it's about being who you are and honouring yourself. That means don't change who you are to please anyone else not just the male of the species. I have tried both ways people pleasing to honouring myself first and foremost. I can tell you that life works a whole lot better using the latter approach. Sherry sets this out as an easy to read set of rules. After the initial read-through it's a great book to keep diving back into if you have a few spare moments and need to remind yourself of some of the rules.

I would throughly recommend this book, but remember this is about honouring yourself and is not a guide on how to be a better doormat.

This book should come with a warning, however, I've made some changes in my marriage since reading the book (with good results I hasten to add) which has now inspired my group of girlfriends to take action in their own relationships, which is leaving a few husbands a little dazed and confused, but trying harder.