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Why Do I Say These Things? [Paperback]

Jonathan Ross
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
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Book Description

7 May 2009

Why is catalogue shopping responsible for Jonathan Ross's inimitable sense of style?

Why might wearing cape and mask be a fast track to heaven?

Why does Jonathan wince every time he sees a Hoover?

And why did he fall in love with a deep-sea diver?

Why? Because this is Jonathan Ross. And nothing is out of bounds when it comes to talking about life as he knows it. From sex and pugs to rock 'n' roll and genital warts, Jonathan holds forth as only he can. This sharply observed, laugh-out-loud, outrageous page-turner will leave you asking just one question . . . Why didn't he write it sooner?

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Product details

  • Paperback: 384 pages
  • Publisher: Bantam (7 May 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0553813498
  • ISBN-13: 978-0553813494
  • Product Dimensions: 2.5 x 12.8 x 19.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 214,874 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description


"Laugh-out-loud funny." (Joan Bakewell, Guardian)

"Hilarious anecdotes aplenty . . . For many of his fans, this will be the first time they get to know the real, likeable, human Jonathan Ross, beneath all the banter and bluster." (Heat magazine)

"Fluent and entertaining . . . this is a very agreeable ramble through the lively thoughts of a non-smoking, now non-drinking family man with a talent to amuse and enthuse." (David Sexton, Evening Standard)

"Taking us through his quirky view on life, including fashion, diets and, er, sweetshops this book is guaranteed to make you laugh out loud." (Woman magazine)

"In between the adolescent porn tales and the hilarious diarrhoea anecdotes, he is funny and acute and full of ideas." (Private Eye)

Book Description

Scenes from life: anecdotal, wicked and witty. This is 'Wossy' in his own words and at his best.

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Customer Reviews

4.2 out of 5 stars
4.2 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars tales of a cheekie chappie 30 Jun 2009
Well, you wouldn't be thinking of buying this unless you like Jonathon Ross, so I shall assume you do. I do as well, he is a quick witted guy that does push the boundaries while using his charm and confidence to take the edge off you realising just how close to the edge he has gone. Occasionally he will make a mistake, such as with the Russell Brand affair, and stupid though that was, if you skirt near the knuckle, then sometimes you will go too far.

This book is more a collection of random thoughts, although there is a little about his background and growing up, less of an autobiographical slant, more positioning his story. I think he is trying to capitalise on his off-piste ramblings that you might hear on his radio show, and while it is entertaining enough, it does not have the sharp wit and spontaneity of being live. His stories vary from the fight against head lice to his early dabble as a punk, all gently amusing stuff that will bring a smile to yourself, but not enough to make you laugh out loud.

Ross comes over as a very nice and genuine guy who knows he is lucky but does not seem to have let it go to his head. The written word is perhaps not the best vehicle to enjoy his talents, but this is still easy to read and entertaining enough. Not bad but no stunning laugh a minute classic.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The wit is endless 26 July 2010
A Book by Jonathan Ross is quite simply a genius idea. He does not fail to entertain, even though the written word is not as seemingly powerful as seeing him on TV on a Friday Night, it is indeed, perhaps even more powerful.

I enjoyed this book mainly for selfish reasons though, he reminds me of me and at times I felt like I could have wrote this book.

That aside however, as a standealone book, laugh a minute almost guaranteed but at the end you will be scratching your head how you managed to miss that Jonathan Ross is in fact a perfect gent, and a hopeless romanatic, and for those very reasons this is the best part autobiographical book I ever read (and I have read 20+). Jonathan, thanks. However, please sir can I have some more?
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing 26 Jun 2010
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I had high hopes for this book as I enjoy watching Jonathan Ross on his chat show and find him really funny. The first couple of chapters were really good and funny but the book peaked at that point for me. There were odd flashes of Ross genius throughout the rest of the novel but overall it was dull. A word of warning, this book will probably bore anyone who isn't in their late forties like Ross as he makes lots and lots of references to growing up in the sixties and seventies that you just won't get (as I didn't).
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4.0 out of 5 stars Hugely enjoyable! 1 Jan 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I bought this book out of sheer curiosity, having been an one-off fan of Jonathan Ross for his entire television career. I expected the book to relate to the title, in memoir or autobiography style. although the book is a memoir, I can't claim to necessarily be any the wiser as to exactly why Ross does say these things.

Despite that, this book is both hugely enjoyable and memorable, as Ross guides the reader through a labyrinth of anecdotal delights and catastrophes. Laugh-out-loud moments and phrases litter the book, and it's impossible not to share some of his hilarious escapades in conversation. To pick out highlights would deprive potential readers of the joy of the journey of discovery.

Buy it - I very much doubt that you will regret it, irrespective of whether or not you are a fan of Jonathan Ross.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Amusing read 29 Sep 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Brilliant made me laugh out loud on more than one occasion,defo would like to have a few beers with him one day,carry on writing.
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5.0 out of 5 stars very funny 25 Mar 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I've always liked Jonathan Ross and this book didn't disspoint, its not an autobiography but a collection of stories from his life. He rambles a little but the punch line is worth it!
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4.0 out of 5 stars Excellently funny enough to laugh out loud 24 Jan 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I would recommend this book to anyone ~ but especially so if you are a fan of Jonathan Ross. His enjoyment of life is plain to see.
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