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Why Do I Say These Things? [Kindle Edition]

Jonathan Ross
3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (37 customer reviews)

Print List Price: £7.99
Kindle Price: £3.95 includes VAT* & free wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
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Book Description

Why is catalogue shopping responsible for Jonathan Ross's inimitable sense of style?



Why might wearing cape and mask be a fast track to heaven?



Why does Jonathan wince every time he sees a Hoover?



And why did he fall in love with a deep-sea diver?



Why? Because this is Jonathan Ross. And nothing is out of bounds when it comes to talking about life as he knows it. From sex and pugs to rock 'n' roll and genital warts, Jonathan holds forth as only he can. This sharply observed, laugh-out-loud, outrageous page-turner will leave you asking just one question . . . Why didn't he write it sooner?


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Review

'Snap it up, pwonto.' -- London Lite

'Splendidly entertaining.' -- Bournemouth Daily Echo

`Irreverent and witty...hilarious...He explores everything - from diets to sweetshops and sex to pets, with his customary lasciviousness and self-deprecatory humour.' -- Living Edge

`It's impossible to deny he's the most entertaining interviewer.' -- Times Educational Supplement

`Laugh-out-loud...Enjoy gleefully politically incorrect posturing and plain old-fashioned entertainment.' -- The Resident

Review

'Hilarious anecdotes aplenty.'

`It's impossible to deny he's the most entertaining interviewer.'

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars tales of a cheekie chappie 30 Jun. 2009
By Nick Brett TOP 500 REVIEWER VINE VOICE
Format:Paperback
Well, you wouldn't be thinking of buying this unless you like Jonathon Ross, so I shall assume you do. I do as well, he is a quick witted guy that does push the boundaries while using his charm and confidence to take the edge off you realising just how close to the edge he has gone. Occasionally he will make a mistake, such as with the Russell Brand affair, and stupid though that was, if you skirt near the knuckle, then sometimes you will go too far.

This book is more a collection of random thoughts, although there is a little about his background and growing up, less of an autobiographical slant, more positioning his story. I think he is trying to capitalise on his off-piste ramblings that you might hear on his radio show, and while it is entertaining enough, it does not have the sharp wit and spontaneity of being live. His stories vary from the fight against head lice to his early dabble as a punk, all gently amusing stuff that will bring a smile to yourself, but not enough to make you laugh out loud.

Ross comes over as a very nice and genuine guy who knows he is lucky but does not seem to have let it go to his head. The written word is perhaps not the best vehicle to enjoy his talents, but this is still easy to read and entertaining enough. Not bad but no stunning laugh a minute classic.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The wit is endless 26 July 2010
Format:Paperback
A Book by Jonathan Ross is quite simply a genius idea. He does not fail to entertain, even though the written word is not as seemingly powerful as seeing him on TV on a Friday Night, it is indeed, perhaps even more powerful.

I enjoyed this book mainly for selfish reasons though, he reminds me of me and at times I felt like I could have wrote this book.

That aside however, as a standealone book, laugh a minute almost guaranteed but at the end you will be scratching your head how you managed to miss that Jonathan Ross is in fact a perfect gent, and a hopeless romanatic, and for those very reasons this is the best part autobiographical book I ever read (and I have read 20+). Jonathan, thanks. However, please sir can I have some more?
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing 26 Jun. 2010
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I had high hopes for this book as I enjoy watching Jonathan Ross on his chat show and find him really funny. The first couple of chapters were really good and funny but the book peaked at that point for me. There were odd flashes of Ross genius throughout the rest of the novel but overall it was dull. A word of warning, this book will probably bore anyone who isn't in their late forties like Ross as he makes lots and lots of references to growing up in the sixties and seventies that you just won't get (as I didn't).
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57 of 71 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing 27 Oct. 2008
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
Somewhere in the preamble to this book Jonathan Ross refers to having recorded his thoughts on tape for transcription by his editors. This makes sense because the whole book reads like a series of disconnected whimsical rambles of the kind he frequently indulges in on his Radio 2 show. Whereas these come across as warm and spontaneous on the radio, in print they just seem lazy and poorly edited (and there are no records to break it up and provide a change in pace).

There is no story here to speak of, no real insights, no names named... just a lot of anecdotes largely concerning what it is like to be famous and rich with a few children and lots of pets - with a few anecdotes about what it was like to grow up a geeky kid in a large, working class household - running for buses and being shy with girls - thrown in for good measure. A few of them are funny, and I laughed out loud once or twice, but those few moments don't justify the padding around them.

I bought this book because for some reason I have some warmth and affection for Jonathan Ross. It has achieved the remarkable feat of making him LESS likeable, to me anyway - he comes across as a man whose extraordinary good fortune, and actual fortune, have disconnected him from the real world.

Apart from anything else such a lazy and self-indulgent ramble is a bit of an insult to the readers, an attempt to grab a bit more money in the runup to christmas by a man who has little need of it. Perhaps JR is a bit too used to being able to rely on spontaneous charm to substitute for actual effort. It might work in a spontaneous medium like radio or TV but not in a book.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Hugely enjoyable! 1 Jan. 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I bought this book out of sheer curiosity, having been an one-off fan of Jonathan Ross for his entire television career. I expected the book to relate to the title, in memoir or autobiography style. although the book is a memoir, I can't claim to necessarily be any the wiser as to exactly why Ross does say these things.

Despite that, this book is both hugely enjoyable and memorable, as Ross guides the reader through a labyrinth of anecdotal delights and catastrophes. Laugh-out-loud moments and phrases litter the book, and it's impossible not to share some of his hilarious escapades in conversation. To pick out highlights would deprive potential readers of the joy of the journey of discovery.

Buy it - I very much doubt that you will regret it, irrespective of whether or not you are a fan of Jonathan Ross.
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Format:Hardcover
As others have alluded the content is very light and somewhat disjointed. Compared to his film reviews, there is no evidence that Ross crafted any of this himself - probably just rambled onto a tape. The end result is very disappointing.

Does make you wonder why this was put out other than a purely cash-collecting exercise. I think most of us expected more from Ross - maybe that is unfair. We know he is capable of more.

Lesson learned here - don't expect Ross to fully support all his projects - in the future, buyer beware.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Funny
Published 1 month ago by Suzylou
5.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining
A good read especially if your having a bad day light hearted funny waiting now for his autobiography to come out
Published 1 month ago by Val
1.0 out of 5 stars There are far better reads out there
Jonathan makes it clear that this book is not an autobiography although at times it seems like an attempt to be one. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Paul Heatherley
4.0 out of 5 stars Shamelessly Entertaining
3.5

Befitting the title of this book, "no filter" comes to mind as Ross delves into stories of unspeakable things teenage boys do with hoovers and adventures in... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Ms T
1.0 out of 5 stars Rubbish
What a load of old twaddle. Bored after 2 chapters. Who on earth would be interested in the subject matter.
Published 7 months ago by Daisy Russell
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
ross doesn t give away anything too personal......apart from the genital warts
Published 10 months ago by stuart
2.0 out of 5 stars Two Stars
dull
Published 11 months ago by SammiLou
2.0 out of 5 stars Bland - Not the insight I was hoping for
I was hoping to get an insight into Jonathan's career and how he has become so successful while having a few laughs along the way. Read more
Published 12 months ago by Mr. Alex Buxton
3.0 out of 5 stars I havnt got around to reading yet as I was ...
I havnt got around to reading yet as I was meeting jonathan and needed something for him to sign but looks interesting
Published 12 months ago by alex mcdermott
5.0 out of 5 stars Amusing read
Brilliant made me laugh out loud on more than one occasion,defo would like to have a few beers with him one day,carry on writing.
Published 22 months ago by carl stefan hicks
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