Alongside 'Why does he do that' by Lundy Bancroft (see my other review) I read this book after leaving a 6 month abusive relationship, to try and understand what exactly had happened and more importantly how I had allowed it to happen. I needed confirmation that I wasn't going mad, that I didn't have the Personality Disorder he claimed I had (along with all the other nasty accusations) or that I was from a dysfunctional family, that he tried to brain wash me into believing I had. Instead this book confirmed everything that I, in my gut feeling, believed to be true. That he was manipulative, controlling and a liar, and that it was HE who was the problem.
It covers all relations from romantic, co-workers, friends and family members and will give you an insight into how the mind of a manipulative, controller works. This will you give you the ability to dis-arm their attempts to intimidate and undermine you any further. On a more personal level, the book questions if your personality is open to being manipulated, and unfortunately for me, it was. It flags up vulnerable times in your life when you are more susceptable to manipulation, eg during a transition in your life or during a period of low self-esteem (and the skilled manipulator will pick up on it and home on it). But it teaches you how to wise up and provide a resistance to the abusive techniques they use in order to control you. In the chapter 'your buttons are showing' it teaches you the lessons in what you will need to adjust and change in order to protect yourself so that you can avoid being 'played' and sucked in again in the future. It includes self-assessment quizzes, action plans and how-to exercises. All an enormous help.
The skilled manipulator is like a vulture, seeking out his next victim but with the aid of this book it will teach you how to spot him/her a mile off, how to deal with him/her by changing your way of behaving and thinking, toughen up and stop being the easy target you once were.
Prevention is better than cure and I can't recommend this book enough!