Who's Pulling Your Strings?
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"She helps readers recognize manipulation, and assess and reduce their own vulnerability, and teaches resistance tactics to use when faced with manipulation."
Product Description
This book offers a powerful program to free yourself from manipulators - and regain control of your life. Millions of people, both men and women, can become involved in relationships with manipulators - people who control through emotional manipulation, insults, and mind games. These 'toxic' relationships erode self-esteem and make life miserable for the victim. Whether the manipulator is a relative, a spouse or romantic partner, a boss, coworker, or subordinate, or even a trusted friend or advisor, Dr. Harriet B. Braiker, bestselling author of "The Disease to Please", shows you how to break this damaging cycle for good. "Who's Pulling Your Strings?" will help you end a current destructive relationship, understand how it occurred - and prevent you from ever getting involved in a manipulative relationship again. Using revealing self-assessment quizzes, action plans, and how-to exercises, Dr. Braiker empowers you to: recognize the signs of a manipulative relationship; spot manipulators and their typical ways of operating; assess your own vulnerability to manipulation; identify the seven main 'Head Games' manipulators play; utilize effective resistance tactics against manipulator's efforts; transform yourself from a 'soft' to a 'hardened' target; extricate yourself from manipulative relationships that do not change; protect yourself from falling prey to manipulators' control in the future; and, stop others from pulling your strings once and for all. With insight, compassionate advice, and self-affirming strategies, Dr. Braiker helps you end any manipulative relationship and regain control of your life - starting right now.
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First Sentence
HAVE YOU EVER FELT as though someone is pulling your strings-making you do things you would rather not or stopping you from doing things you would prefer to continue? Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
HAVE YOU EVER FELT as though someone is pulling your strings-making you do things you would rather not or stopping you from doing things you would prefer to continue? Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
50 of 51 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Alongside 'Why does he do that' by Lundy Bancroft (see my other review) I read this book after leaving a 6 month abusive relationship, to try and understand what exactly had happened and more importantly how I had allowed it to happen. I needed confirmation that I wasn't going mad, that I didn't have the Personality Disorder he claimed I had (along with all the other nasty accusations) or that I was from a dysfunctional family, that he tried to brain wash me into believing I had. Instead this book confirmed everything that I, in my gut feeling, believed to be true. That he was manipulative, controlling and a liar, and that it was HE who was the problem.
It covers all relations from romantic, co-workers, friends and family members and will give you an insight into how the mind of a manipulative, controller works. This will you give you the ability to dis-arm their attempts to intimidate and undermine you any further. On a more personal level, the book questions if your personality is open to being manipulated, and unfortunately for me, it was. It flags up vulnerable times in your life when you are more susceptable to manipulation, eg during a transition in your life or during a period of low self-esteem (and the skilled manipulator will pick up on it and home on it). But it teaches you how to wise up and provide a resistance to the abusive techniques they use in order to control you. In the chapter 'your buttons are showing' it teaches you the lessons in what you will need to adjust and change in order to protect yourself so that you can avoid being 'played' and sucked in again in the future. It includes self-assessment quizzes, action plans and how-to exercises. All an enormous help.
The skilled manipulator is like a vulture, seeking out his next victim but with the aid of this book it will teach you how to spot him/her a mile off, how to deal with him/her by changing your way of behaving and thinking, toughen up and stop being the easy target you once were.
Prevention is better than cure and I can't recommend this book enough!
It covers all relations from romantic, co-workers, friends and family members and will give you an insight into how the mind of a manipulative, controller works. This will you give you the ability to dis-arm their attempts to intimidate and undermine you any further. On a more personal level, the book questions if your personality is open to being manipulated, and unfortunately for me, it was. It flags up vulnerable times in your life when you are more susceptable to manipulation, eg during a transition in your life or during a period of low self-esteem (and the skilled manipulator will pick up on it and home on it). But it teaches you how to wise up and provide a resistance to the abusive techniques they use in order to control you. In the chapter 'your buttons are showing' it teaches you the lessons in what you will need to adjust and change in order to protect yourself so that you can avoid being 'played' and sucked in again in the future. It includes self-assessment quizzes, action plans and how-to exercises. All an enormous help.
The skilled manipulator is like a vulture, seeking out his next victim but with the aid of this book it will teach you how to spot him/her a mile off, how to deal with him/her by changing your way of behaving and thinking, toughen up and stop being the easy target you once were.
Prevention is better than cure and I can't recommend this book enough!
44 of 45 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I spent 33 years of my life manipulated to an extreme by my Mother. Did not have much issue in first 25 years as I wasn't aware of my identity at all! Things started to get worse when I got married to a wonderful women who turned out to be very influential and positive person (Well I happened to have some other qualities accidently!!) . My wife wouldn't budge to my mother's tricks and what a nightmare it has been for me. My intelligence always trusted my Wife but the fearful mind always failed to reason completely, until I read this book. First time in my life I feel I can see things clearly with my own head and understand what it feel like to be "FREE". Unfortunately, my other family members seem to be beyond repair!
39 of 41 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This book is an excellent summary of the manipulative personality. It correctly identifies the manipulative as totally self-centred, or incredibly "insecure". I have found it fascinating that the term "control freak" is sometimes used as a "friendly" way of saying, "I am going to manipulate you".
It is a topic that has been neglected by the "experts". The manipulator can send you into depression and self-hatred. I have had the experience where even the manipulator suggested that I need "help", and either did not see that they were the problem, or was another way of carrying on the manipulation.
Excellent stuff. I will be more confident of spotting these horrible people more in the future.
It is a topic that has been neglected by the "experts". The manipulator can send you into depression and self-hatred. I have had the experience where even the manipulator suggested that I need "help", and either did not see that they were the problem, or was another way of carrying on the manipulation.
Excellent stuff. I will be more confident of spotting these horrible people more in the future.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Can you spot a manipulator?
Can you spot a manipulator? I know I can after reading this book. This book has certainly opened my eyes, I am still learning to deal with my manipulator but this book has helped... Read more
Published 3 months ago by Fusseybookrdr
Absolute eye-opener!
A highly recommended read for constructive understanding of the 'victim's' almost unresolvable situation in the hands of a masterful 'manipulator' - a situation that can be very... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Sandy
Review
Great Book. Recieved brand new and in great condition. A great read for those who are passionate about reading and deep thinking!
Published 9 months ago by SSH123
I'm about to turn the page... To take a leap of faith.
I am so saddened to hear that this wonderful Author has passed away. I am about to move onto Chapter 12 of this book and before I did I wanted to thank her for writing this book. Read more
Published 9 months ago by Rachel Peta
I got down to the reality Ithat I hadn't wanted to recognise.Such a...
I have bought so many introspective books trying to fix 'me' This wonderful book was a refreshing change because although I still take responsibility for my part, The '... Read more
Published 9 months ago by S. A. Teale
excellent read!
I like this book very much.In a simple and easy understood language the author explains how people fall prey to manipulators which can be anyone: members of family,romantic... Read more
Published 12 months ago by M
A top-notch, practical and very helpful book
I was a bit wary of this book at first as I bought it on speculation having no reviews on Amazon.co.uk available. Read more
Published on 5 Jan 2005 by "eddieposh"
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