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Who's Pulling Your Strings?: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life

Who's Pulling Your Strings?: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life [Kindle Edition]

Harriet B. Braiker Ph. D.
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)

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Product Description


"She helps readers recognize manipulation, and assess and reduce their own vulnerability, and teaches resistance tactics to use when faced with manipulation."

Product Description

A powerful program to stop manipulators in their tracks

In Who's Pulling Your Strings?, Dr. Harriet B. Braiker, New York Times bestselling author of The Disease to Please, explains how depression, low self-esteem, anger, and feelings of helplessness can be caused by relationships with manipulative people. She exposes the most common methods of manipulators, and with the help of selfassessment quizzes, action plans, and how-to exercises, she helps you recognize and end the manipulative cycle for good.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 475 KB
  • Print Length: 276 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0071446729
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Up to 4 simultaneous devices, per publisher limits
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (1 Sep 2003)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #20,123 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
77 of 78 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Can't recommend it enough!! 18 Feb 2009
Alongside 'Why does he do that' by Lundy Bancroft (see my other review) I read this book after leaving a 6 month abusive relationship, to try and understand what exactly had happened and more importantly how I had allowed it to happen. I needed confirmation that I wasn't going mad, that I didn't have the Personality Disorder he claimed I had (along with all the other nasty accusations) or that I was from a dysfunctional family, that he tried to brain wash me into believing I had. Instead this book confirmed everything that I, in my gut feeling, believed to be true. That he was manipulative, controlling and a liar, and that it was HE who was the problem.

It covers all relations from romantic, co-workers, friends and family members and will give you an insight into how the mind of a manipulative, controller works. This will you give you the ability to dis-arm their attempts to intimidate and undermine you any further. On a more personal level, the book questions if your personality is open to being manipulated, and unfortunately for me, it was. It flags up vulnerable times in your life when you are more susceptable to manipulation, eg during a transition in your life or during a period of low self-esteem (and the skilled manipulator will pick up on it and home on it). But it teaches you how to wise up and provide a resistance to the abusive techniques they use in order to control you. In the chapter 'your buttons are showing' it teaches you the lessons in what you will need to adjust and change in order to protect yourself so that you can avoid being 'played' and sucked in again in the future. It includes self-assessment quizzes, action plans and how-to exercises. All an enormous help.
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51 of 54 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent review of manipulative behaviour 28 Aug 2006
This book is an excellent summary of the manipulative personality. It correctly identifies the manipulative as totally self-centred, or incredibly "insecure". I have found it fascinating that the term "control freak" is sometimes used as a "friendly" way of saying, "I am going to manipulate you".

It is a topic that has been neglected by the "experts". The manipulator can send you into depression and self-hatred. I have had the experience where even the manipulator suggested that I need "help", and either did not see that they were the problem, or was another way of carrying on the manipulation.

Excellent stuff. I will be more confident of spotting these horrible people more in the future.
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31 of 33 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars excellent read! 3 Jun 2011
By M
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I like this book very much.In a simple and easy understood language the author explains how people fall prey to manipulators which can be anyone: members of family,romantic partners, friends, colleagues or authority figures. Usually the closer someone is in terms of relationship the bigger chances are for manipulation, emotional and psychological which is the main subject of the book.As it is often difficult to uncover emotional manipulation due to its obscurity and subtlety the author analyses closely mechanisms behind this type of manipulation, explaining step by step how people are manipulated, why , methods of manipulation and how to regain independence from it and live your own life.There are tests to determine who is more prone to manipulation and why, in the author's words , the buttons' which manipulators use in order to enslave their victims psychologically.There are techniques provided how to resist usually hidden , well covered acts of pulling the strings. Excellent read as I recognised my own struggles to free and distance myself from toxic, manipulative people in my life , exactly in my family.I also recognised some of the 'buttons' I unknowingly practised and by doing so was an easy target for unscrupulous people.The author recognises 7 so called buttons which give a green light to manipulators to use someone for their own selfish and sometimes dangerous purposes and they are: 1.people pleasing mind set and habits 2.addiction to acceptance and approval of others, 3.fear of feeling negative emotions, 4.lack of assertiveness and inability to say NO, 5.blurry sense of your own identity and self, 6.low self reliance and distrust in your own judgments, 7.external locus of control and perception that life and things happening are under control of others rather than depend on our will. Read more ›
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61 of 66 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing - Changed my Life!!! 27 May 2008
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I spent 33 years of my life manipulated to an extreme by my Mother. Did not have much issue in first 25 years as I wasn't aware of my identity at all! Things started to get worse when I got married to a wonderful women who turned out to be very influential and positive person (Well I happened to have some other qualities accidently!!) . My wife wouldn't budge to my mother's tricks and what a nightmare it has been for me. My intelligence always trusted my Wife but the fearful mind always failed to reason completely, until I read this book. First time in my life I feel I can see things clearly with my own head and understand what it feel like to be "FREE". Unfortunately, my other family members seem to be beyond repair!
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17 of 18 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I have bought so many introspective books trying to fix 'me' This wonderful book was a refreshing change because although I still take responsibility for my part, The ' manipulator' can only change when you change YOUR OWN behaviour.Thats a choice for you to consider. This automatically changes the dynamics.Great..xx
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
I couldn't be without it !!!
Published 1 month ago by neil moray urquhart phelps
5.0 out of 5 stars Best book on the subject : her 'unisex' book for all -both men and...
This book is the ultimate book on Manipulation - 'the label does match up with the contents' (subtitle) : How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Elfin H
5.0 out of 5 stars Literally - Life Changing for the better !
This book is the real deal. If you suspect you are under the thumb or if you feel like a doormat then I would strongly recommend that you invest in this book. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Spindrifter
5.0 out of 5 stars After reading an online version I ordered the book in order to be able...
Excellent treatment of the subject. I particularly found the section giving insight into the motives of the manipulator and mechanics of the process helpful, The distinction... Read more
Published 3 months ago by Erika Jordaan
5.0 out of 5 stars brilliant book
the book is fantastic and very informative if you are dealing with emotional blackmail and emotional abuse. Read more
Published 3 months ago by LizC
5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting reading
Thought provoking and well written. Great condition and good value for money. Arrived in good time. Blah blah blah blah!
Published 5 months ago by Bennisu
4.0 out of 5 stars who's pulling your strings
I liked it,it was an easy read and understandable. Some of it was common sense but it's easy to get manipulated without realising it, so this book makes you realise what to be... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Ms. T. V. Edwards
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
If you are being subjected to manipulation, please read this. It explains the psychology very well and teaches you that you can't reason with these people!
Published 6 months ago by Tazz Rainbow
5.0 out of 5 stars Provides the reader with the boundaries they might have missing
I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a sense of support and those wishing to have a solid insight into what happens when bullying occurs.
Published 9 months ago by Jen Harland
5.0 out of 5 stars Whose pulling your strings
The approach the writer has when explaining the "Mr Nasty type" actions that the manipulative has, it puts life back into perspective. Read more
Published 11 months ago by Linda Howe
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Popular Highlights

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Always pay attention to what the manipulator does, not what he or she says. &quote;
Highlighted by 115 Kindle users
The best way to change a manipulator is to change your own behavior. When you stop rewarding the manipulation by giving in and by giving the manipulator what he or she wants—power and control—you will set the wheels of change in motion. &quote;
Highlighted by 94 Kindle users
Having an excessive sense of responsibility for the welfare and happiness of others is the lever that manipulators will use when they invoke guilt or obligation to control your behavior. &quote;
Highlighted by 93 Kindle users

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