Who I Kissed [Paperback]

Thanks to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Fire for this eARC!

By the time I was approved for this on NetGalley, I had completely forgotten I'd requested it at all. I wish I remembered the reasoning behind it, but I don't. This isn't a typical book for me to pick up.

As it appears, this book has a very emotional story in it. Unlike some books I've read recently, it really does cut to the chase with Alex's death and leaves a majority of the book to Sam dealing with her grief. (Books that don't disperse with things they've already told us will happen in the blurb seem to be a trend for some reason lately.)

Sam herself is a pretty strong character. Her grief is real. That said, the way that she deals with it sometimes leaves the reader and well as her detached from the whole thing. I understand that it's hard to write about a character being detached while keeping the reader connected, but by the end of the book I found myself connecting less and less with Sam-which is a problem when it's her emotional story driving the entire thing.

However, the multitude of Sam's emotional stories in this thing was even a bigger problem. This book is hardly just about Sam, Zee and Alex. It's about her estranged relationship with her father, the fact that her mother died young and Sam never knew her and then on top of that all of the different grief storylines. There's Sam trying to deal with the death herself (this includes her refusal to swim and a bad relationship), Sam dealing with her classmates and then Sam trying to deal with Alex's family. Frankly, it's all just too much. While I understand what Gurtler was trying to do and have the utmost respect for it, it didn't come off as well as I'd have liked. Too many subplot lines are smushed into the cracks.

The rest of the characters didn't really have the chops to back up these plot lines, either. Honestly, the character with the most pop was Sam's crazy, amazing aunt and her dog. At times I felt closer to the characters who were dead, Alex and Sam's mom. Several more minor characters get more face time than Zee, despite Sam's continued affirmations that he's important. Once again, with all the different plot lines, there were too many characters with too many good, deep ideas to all fit into one 312 page book.

I will say, though, that the story still packs an emotional punch. I felt for each character every step of the way, even if I was more connecting to my own feelings of lost than the ones being portrayed in the pages. Not one of the topics dealt with in this book is an easy one, and each one is important. It also wasn't your typical high school drama story, even if some of the background characters did fall into cliches. They weren't important enough for me to really care, and they constructed fast stereotypes so that Gurtler could get on with the story.

All in all, I would recommend this to lovers of YA contemporary novels who want larger themes than just romance. I think fans of authors such as Sarah Dessens would absolutely adore this one. I enjoyed this one as much as I did because of how different it was from my normal reading, and the attempt to make it about so much more then just romance.

A friend gave me this advanced copy of Who I Kissed and I was excited to read it, but for all the wrong reasons it turns out. I was looking for a fluffy contemporary and the cover of this book certainly says that, but the insides are completely different... and so much better than fluff. There should be a peanut on the cover of this book, not an attractive high school girl with a hot dude standing behind her. Why?

Who I Kissed is about a girl named Samantha who accidentally kills a boy by kissing him. Alex was highly allergic to peanuts and Samantha didn't know, so when she kisses him at a party to make another boy jealous after eating a peanut butter sandwich... all hell breaks loose at the party and Alex dies on the way to the hospital. Now Samantha must live with the stigma of her peers for accidentally killing one of the best-loved boys in school.

I was hooked from page one, I tell you, page one! Before Samantha goes to that infamous party, we get to learn a little bit about her - she's a shy, serious gal who studies hard even on the weekends, rarely parties, and takes her swimming career very seriously. She eats well and exercises and her idea of going nuts is going to a movie at night. I loved Samantha from the beginning because she reminded me of me in high school - minus the swimming. So when she aims to make her crush/almost-boyfriend, Zee, jealous at a party (yes, this part is a little fluffy) she decided to kiss the attractive Alex who evidently had a thing for Sam as well.

The fluff stops here. Immediately Alex cannot breathe and, well... you know what happens after that.

I was really impressed with the way Janet Gurtler wrote Sam's character. Aside from being relatable, I found every little thing Sam did to be realistic. It's how I would imagine myself handling the situation. Beyond Sam's character, I found the whole book to be realistic. Even the kiss, though it sounds far fetched, seems like something you might see on the news these days. Nut allergies are on the rise and the debate over what to do about it - ban nuts from schools? ostracize the allergic kids to a separate table? - brings a fiery passion from both sides of the debate.

I'm not going to lie - until I read this book, I was one of those people who thought nut allergies was no big deal. I didn't think peanut butter should be banned from schools because of it, but now I've done almost a one-eighty on the issue. Absolutely ban peanut butter from schools if it will ensure a life is saved. No kid is that picky that they will only eat peanut butter, and if they are it's your responsibility as a parent to broaden their food horizons. Leave the PB for the weekends. Thankfully, there is research going on regarding peanut allergies. According to the author, a vaccine is the the works and I've seen a few stories on the news in the past year about progress being made with exposure therapy. Perhaps someday this won't even be an issue, but in the meantime Who I Kissed is an excellent example of a young adult novel taking on a serious issue head on.

Also, let me just note without being spoiler-ish: there's a surprise ending that I loved.

Five stars - this book was amazing, realistic, enthralling, and really brings to light the debate about peanuts. I read the whole thing in one night, and I would have done it in one sitting if I could have. Please don't pass off Who I Kissed as contemporary fluff based off the cover and please give it a read. I guarantee you'll enjoy it.

Who I Kissed is an heart wrenching story of coping with grief. Not the grief of a family recovering after the premature death of a son and brother, but the guilt and torment faced by the girl who accidentally kills him with one innocent kiss.

While at one of the few parties Samantha has decided to attend, she notices the boy who was watching her swim the other day. In a moment of weakness, they end up sharing a kiss that proves fatal. Alex goes into anaphylaxis and is pronounced dead on the way to the hospital. All because Sam kissed him after eating a peanut butter sandwich.

Some people read the synopsis and have a moment of disbelief, as if the story couldn't possibly be good because the premise is so odd. If any variation of this thought pops into your head, immediately grab hold of it and fling. Or better yet, set it on fire and burry the ashes. Who I Kissed is so much more than the story of a boy dying from an allergic reaction. Not only does Samantha have to deal with the tormenting of her peers, the mass media attention, the hurt appearance of Alex's sister in the hall way, the dissolution of an important friendship, and the fading of her dreams, but these events are all added to the important family matters that have been filed away and ignored. The story isn't about Alex, it isn't even about servere peanut allergies. Not to downplay Alex's role, but he is more of an instigator to events than the subject of the novel itself.

I love this book so much that I am getting confused just thinking about it. I have read and reviewed Gurtler's first two novels, I'm Not Her and If I Tell , both of which I very much so enjoyed, but Who I Kissed definitely takes the cake. I appreciated how real Sam's emotions were. She wasn't put down by the media attention or the ridicule of classmates, but rather she was destroyed by herself. It is her choice to limit her dreams and happiness. It is her who doesn't want to feel better, who thinks she has to suffer for what she did. She is continually torn between wanting to be punished and wanting to forget. Before she confronts Alex's family, she really has to deal with herself first.

Don't for a minute think that the plot is going to fall the usual contemporary pattern of: problem, drama, getting better, solution. It rises and falls, and drags emotions every which way. Just in case you needed one more incentive to pick up this novel.

If you love contemporary novels, or even moderately like them, Who I Kissed should be moved to the top of your to-read pile.