Start reading on your Kindle in under a minute. Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here or start reading now with a free Kindle Reading App.

Deliver to your Kindle or other device


Try it free

Sample the beginning of this book for free

Deliver to your Kindle or other device

Anybody can read Kindle books—even without a Kindle device—with the FREE Kindle app for smartphones, tablets and computers.
Where the Hell is Darcy? A Smutty Snorty Guide to Sex, Dating & Relationships

Where the Hell is Darcy? A Smutty Snorty Guide to Sex, Dating & Relationships [Kindle Edition]

4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: £0.99 includes VAT* & free wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
* Unlike print books, digital books are subject to VAT.
Borrow this book for free on a Kindle device with Amazon Prime. Learn more about Kindle Owners' Lending Library.
Join Prime to borrow this book at no cost.
The Kindle Owners' Lending Library gives you access to thousands of books, including New York Times bestsellers, to borrow and read for free.
  • Borrow a book as frequently as once per month
  • No due dates — keep books as long as you like and return them when it's time for something new
  • Read on any Amazon Kindle device

Amazon Prime members also enjoy:
  • Unlimited streaming of thousands of popular movies and TV shows with Prime Instant Video
  • FREE Two-Day Shipping on millions of items, with no minimum order size

For more information about the Kindle Owners' Lending Library visit our help page.

Kindle Daily Deal
Kindle Daily Deal: At least 60% off
Each day we unveil a new book deal at a specially discounted price--for that day only. Learn more about the Kindle Daily Deal or sign up for the Kindle Daily Deal Newsletter to receive free e-mail notifications about each day's deal.

Product Description

Product Description

Warning: This book is funny and very filthy- so don’t lend it to your granny...

Ladies- Admit it. Your love life has as much romance as a George Michael stroll on Hampstead Heath...
We know this because ours does too...

There are no solutions to rubbish relationships that don’t involve serious psychotherapy and nipple clamps, so bugger that.....
What we need is a smutty guide to understanding men, sex, dating & relationships that deals with real all its spotty-arsed dweebness....
A comedy book that will make us snort while we eat cake, glug wine or shave our legs...

So here it is...and you can use the Click Inside Feature at the top of the page to have a sneaky peek inside too- Go on, have a rummage, free of charge!

If you are single, or your man is more Arsey than Darcy and you are stuck with Brian from Cleethorpes, Dan from Accounts or Julian from Brideshead Revisited, then buy this book!

Discover all this and much, much more:

- How to find your own gorgeous hunk of uselessness
- Why dating websites are the Devil’s testicles
- How to diagnose which sort of twat he is
- How to pretend you’re not deranged
- How to relieve the boredom during blow jobs
- What he’s thinking when he does that gormless face
- Why bondage is great if you’re lazy
- How to avoid traumatising him with your period
- Why his exes are deeply weird
- Why his mother hates you
- Why sex is just horizontal Riverdancing without the clogs
- Why weddings relieve the boredom of his Y-Fronts
- Why your bridesmaids need to look like baboons
- How to deal with cheating and getting pissed at Christmas
- Why revenge is fabulous
- How to get over him and how to get the bastard back
- How to grow old and fat with Mr Darcy

Kattykitt doesn’t promise to turn you into a love guru. To be honest, she doesn’t want the competition. Her Darcy is out there somewhere and she doesn’t want him falling for you...
But she does hope the book makes you giggle a bit though, because if your love life is half as dire as hers, that sure beats the hell out of rocking in a dark corner...

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 1092 KB
  • Print Length: 134 pages
  • Publisher: Kattykitt (8 Feb 2013)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #345,487 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  •  Would you like to give feedback on images?

More About the Author

Kattykitt is a comedy writer with a background in nursing, psychology and research. She is originally from North Wales, but now lives in Oxfordshire, juggling work, small boy and mad hair.

Where the Hell is Darcy is her first full-length comedy book and she wrote it late at night, whilst slightly unhinged through coffee and gin...

Book Two will be out in Summer 2013 and is about the delights of having kids... plus all the rest of the domestic madness that makes us howl at the moon like a hideous banshee. More details to follow shortly...

You can follow Kattykitt on:

Facebook :


Customer Reviews

3 star
2 star
1 star
4.9 out of 5 stars
4.9 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh out loud funny 26 Feb 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This had me giggling with recognition - I'm sure Kattykitt must know some of my exes!
A really good read if you've ever had a less than perfect relationship .... you are not alone.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars HILARIOUS!!! 21 Feb 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book had me chuckling, wincing, LOLing and belly laughing from start to finish.
Its a 'no frilly bits', 'heavens to Betsy', 'give as a gift to your daughter and put her off the male species for life' kinda book,with the added bonus of taking you tripping and skipping with hilarity and a slightly smug snigger of realisation, down the memory lane of all your failed relationships and fumbles!! Yes good to know we've all met them....and even better to be able to laugh about it!! KattyKit you are a tonic (with a large gin in it)!!
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Love it!! 20 Feb 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Having read this book, thank God I'm not looking for my Mr Darcy! Whether happily married, happily single or desperately on the prowl, I think you'll really enjoy this book. Worryingly close for comfort at times, but always acerbically witty! And, contrary to what the author says, I think your Granny would probably like it too!
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Buy it. Like, right now! 20 Feb 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Quite simply the best £0.93 you will EVER spend! In fact, a bargain at three times the price.

An incredibly addictive, worryingly honest, devilishly funny read. Although, I hope and pray that none of this is actually true.

Brian from Cleethorpes.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?

Customer Discussions

This product's forum
Discussion Replies Latest Post
No discussions yet

Ask questions, Share opinions, Gain insight
Start a new discussion
First post:
Prompts for sign-in

Search Customer Discussions
Search all Amazon discussions

Look for similar items by category