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When You and Your Mother Can't be Friends (Paperback)

by Victoria Secunda (Author) "Few comments strike as much terror in the female heart, or more rapidly raise a lovers' tiff to the boiling point, than the comment "You're..." (more)

4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (11 customer reviews)

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Product details

Paperback: 432 pages
Publisher: Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group; Reprint edition (1990)
Language English
ISBN-10: 0385304234
ISBN-13: 978-0385304238
Product Dimensions: 23.4 x 15.5 x 2.8 cm

Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (11 customer reviews)

Amazon.co.uk Sales Rank: 101,766 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)
Popular in this category:
#46 in Books > Health, Family & Lifestyle > Families & Parents > Motherhood

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Product Description

Synopsis

Identifies five types of difficult mothers and the reactions they produce in their children, and offers advice on improving the mother-child relationship.

Inside This Book (Learn More)

First Sentence
Few comments strike as much terror in the female heart, or more rapidly raise a lovers' tiff to the boiling point, than the comment "You're getting more like your mother every day." Read the first page

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	70% buy the item featured on this page: When You and Your Mother Can't be Friends 4.7 out of 5 stars (11) �8.29
	9% buy Toxic Parents; Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life 4.6 out of 5 stars (13) �6.48
	9% buy Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life 4.7 out of 5 stars (24)
	7% buy How to Manage Your Mother 5.0 out of 5 stars (3) �6.24

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Customer Reviews

11 Reviews

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

Average Customer Review

4.7 out of 5 stars (11 customer reviews)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

94 of 95 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book changed my life really!, 15 Jun 1999

By A Customer

This book helped me regain my sanity. My mother for lack of a better word is a self-proclaimed matyr and I felt guilty since I can remember for ever making her the least bit uncomfortable, my sister did too. This book helped me realize that just because someone is a mother doesn't make them a good parent and that there are others like me. It takes you through your family's history and helps you to understand why mom may be the way she is and what you can do to deal with (or chose not to deal with) that relationship.

I was on the verge of never speaking to my mother or her side of the family again, but this book turned it around and now although I doubt we will ever be like a TV 50s family, I can talk to my mom and she appears to listen to what I say.

I highly recommend this book if you are feeling the least bit guilty about what you feel about dear old mom, want to cut her out of your life, or just want to understand why you and your mom have little to nothing in common.

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74 of 75 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Every Child Should Have A Copy!, 25 Oct 2002

By	"nik33062" - See all my reviews

This book is quite simply life-changing.

Forget weighty psycholgy tomes with their dry identification of signs and symptoms of labelled personality "disorders" of parents and children, read this and find out how these wretched behaviour patterns were set up in the first place.

Incredibly illuminating, compassionate and sensible, this is a must for any daughter who feels misunderstood, embittered, angered, or simply saddened by their relationship with their mother. Or their father, for that matter. Very, very helpful stuff.

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23 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars "When you and your mother can't be friends." Victoria Secunda, 19 Jun 2007

By	Berenice Hickey "Berenice" (Singapore) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

After speaking with my mother on the phone, I was left feeling attacked, defeated, belittled, challenged and totally confused again! These feeling were familiar and predictable. I had ordered this book months ago. When it had arrived I had put it in a drawer and left it, part of my denial of the situation and subconscious willingness to continue this destructive pattern as to me it felt "normal".
This time I felt too sick and tired to go on, so I found the book and read it. What a huge relief to find I was not crazy after all! As a result I have gone on to read many more books on destructive relationship patterns in the family, and only wish that I had done so years ago. It would have saved me a lot of suffering and heartache. This book was my initial liberator. I now feel so much more peaceful and free of worry and upset that I am a different person for having been given the tools to face the truth.

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

3.0 out of 5 stars Didn't do it for me
I bought this book after I'd read 'My Mother My Self' by Nancy Friday (1977). I was looking for a more modern approach to the same subject matter. Read more

Published 2 months ago by Heather Sanderson

5.0 out of 5 stars At last a Positive Approach
I had previously purchased 2 other books on the subject of Mother/ Daughter abusive relationships. I found them both labelling the abuser, however with this book there was none of... Read more

Published 5 months ago by M. A. L. Pike

5.0 out of 5 stars Broke through many years of denial
I had had tears bred out of me over my 44 years, but reading the 'Angel' chapter made me cry.
Finally I realised how I had tried all my life to please my hyper-critical... Read more

Published 8 months ago by Katharine K

5.0 out of 5 stars You can't change the past
... but you can change how you look at it, and that can change the future.

This is a genuinely extraordinary book. Read more

Published 9 months ago by L. Rawes

5.0 out of 5 stars Made me feel less of a freak.
I would recommend this book to anyone who has ever had problems with their mother or simply need to understand mother-daughter dynamics. Read more

Published 18 months ago by Acquafortis

5.0 out of 5 stars A very informative Best Friend!
If you have been sending SOS signals to all your friends and family about your relationship with your mother then this is the book for you! Read more

Published on 27 Jul 2007 by K. Harvey

5.0 out of 5 stars MUST READING FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO MAKE IT BETTER.
Finally! Victoria Secunda provides insight and understanding in place of anger, fear and helplessness. I found myself weeping with each new revelation. Read more

Published on 26 Dec 1998

4.0 out of 5 stars It will give you insight on your mother/daughter relationshi
This book helped me see for the first time the roles my mother, sisters, and I played out. It made dealing with them an easier task. Read more

Published on 10 Nov 1998

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When You and Your Mother Can't be Friends (Paperback)

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