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Synopsis
Identifies five types of difficult mothers and the reactions they produce in their children, and offers advice on improving the mother-child relationship.
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First Sentence
Few comments strike as much terror in the female heart, or more rapidly raise a lovers' tiff to the boiling point, than the comment "You're getting more like your mother every day." Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index
Few comments strike as much terror in the female heart, or more rapidly raise a lovers' tiff to the boiling point, than the comment "You're getting more like your mother every day." Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
126 of 128 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This book helped me regain my sanity. My mother for lack of a better word is a self-proclaimed matyr and I felt guilty since I can remember for ever making her the least bit uncomfortable, my sister did too. This book helped me realize that just because someone is a mother doesn't make them a good parent and that there are others like me. It takes you through your family's history and helps you to understand why mom may be the way she is and what you can do to deal with (or chose not to deal with) that relationship.
I was on the verge of never speaking to my mother or her side of the family again, but this book turned it around and now although I doubt we will ever be like a TV 50s family, I can talk to my mom and she appears to listen to what I say.
I highly recommend this book if you are feeling the least bit guilty about what you feel about dear old mom, want to cut her out of your life, or just want to understand why you and your mom have little to nothing in common.
93 of 95 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This book is quite simply life-changing.
Forget weighty psycholgy tomes with their dry identification of signs and symptoms of labelled personality "disorders" of parents and children, read this and find out how these wretched behaviour patterns were set up in the first place.
Incredibly illuminating, compassionate and sensible, this is a must for any daughter who feels misunderstood, embittered, angered, or simply saddened by their relationship with their mother. Or their father, for that matter. Very, very helpful stuff.
25 of 25 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
If you have been sending SOS signals to all your friends and family about your relationship with your mother then this is the book for you! Whether it is just an irritation or a completely Life-ruining distress, this book is an easy-to-read but very informative Best Friend!
No-one is trained to be a mother and so many women wind up with an emotional responsibility that they are simply not able to deal with and don't know why. Many are still overwhelmed with unfinished business from their own childhoods. This book does not make excuses for bad mothers but nor does it condemn, it really helps to find solutions. Even for those of us for whom there are no solutions, understanding helps to come to terms with it.
You may feel as I did at first that the book seems too simplistic in its approach but don't be deceived! As I persisted I found that I was wrong. It is extremely profound and exacting and Victoria Secunda has drawn on the expertise and experience of a number of brilliant specialists in their fields. Honestly, I think that this is one of the truly great, ground-breaking, self-help books, right up there with "Toxic Parents" by Dr Susan Forward and "Women Who Love Too Much" by Dr Robin Norwood. It is not only fascinating in its own right as a good read but could dispel those endless, sleepless, weepy nights and save you a fortune in counsellors!
No-one is trained to be a mother and so many women wind up with an emotional responsibility that they are simply not able to deal with and don't know why. Many are still overwhelmed with unfinished business from their own childhoods. This book does not make excuses for bad mothers but nor does it condemn, it really helps to find solutions. Even for those of us for whom there are no solutions, understanding helps to come to terms with it.
You may feel as I did at first that the book seems too simplistic in its approach but don't be deceived! As I persisted I found that I was wrong. It is extremely profound and exacting and Victoria Secunda has drawn on the expertise and experience of a number of brilliant specialists in their fields. Honestly, I think that this is one of the truly great, ground-breaking, self-help books, right up there with "Toxic Parents" by Dr Susan Forward and "Women Who Love Too Much" by Dr Robin Norwood. It is not only fascinating in its own right as a good read but could dispel those endless, sleepless, weepy nights and save you a fortune in counsellors!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Informative but sometimes a bit boring
Having read that book i was able to ascertain my mum was a critic and a smotherer. The book tells lots of individual stories and sets out the types of personalities that mothers... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Louise
A positive way forwards
Intelligent, empathetic and so incredibly helpful. When I picked up this book, I had realised a lots of the damage from my past, and I was looking to hear some similar stories,... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Sally Winter
Not an easy read
This book had loads of great reviews that encouraged me to purchase. I was looking forward to some clarity about my relational problems with my mother, and possibly some advice /... Read more
Published 11 months ago by J. Swainson
If you have mother troubles - definitely read this
This book was incredibly illuminating. I had decided never to speak with my mother again but after reading this book I realised there were other options. Read more
Published on 1 Jan 2010 by K. Latimer
Didn't do it for me
I bought this book after I'd read 'My Mother My Self' by Nancy Friday (1977). I was looking for a more modern approach to the same subject matter. Read more
Published on 15 Aug 2009 by Heather Sanderson
At last a Positive Approach
I had previously purchased 2 other books on the subject of Mother/ Daughter abusive relationships. I found them both labelling the abuser, however with this book there was none of... Read more
Published on 3 Jun 2009 by M. A. L. Pike
Broke through many years of denial
I had had tears bred out of me over my 44 years, but reading the 'Angel' chapter made me cry.
Finally I realised how I had tried all my life to please my hyper-critical... Read more
Finally I realised how I had tried all my life to please my hyper-critical... Read more
Published on 27 Feb 2009 by Katharine K
You can't change the past
... but you can change how you look at it, and that can change the future.
This is a genuinely extraordinary book. Read more
This is a genuinely extraordinary book. Read more
Published on 15 Jan 2009 by L. Rawes
Made me feel less of a freak.
I would recommend this book to anyone who has ever had problems with their mother or simply need to understand mother-daughter dynamics. Read more
Published on 4 May 2008 by Acquafortis
"When you and your mother can't be friends." Victoria Secunda
After speaking with my mother on the phone, I was left feeling attacked, defeated, belittled, challenged and totally confused again! These feeling were familiar and predictable. Read more
Published on 19 Jun 2007 by Berenice Hickey
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