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When Your Friend's Child Dies: A Guide to Being a Thoughtful & Caring Friend Paperback – Sep 1998

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Grieving parents tell horror stories about the comments people make to them. Read the first page
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Amazon.com: 14 reviews
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful
Right-on advice to helping a friend cope with childloss 16 Oct. 2000
By S. E. Duncan - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
This little book has packed within its pages, marvelous advice. So many of us either find ourselves coping with childloss or attempting to assist someone else who has lost a child. It is a well written, most helpful guide to both those in bereavement and to those helping a friend cope with the loss of a child. The author, a bereaved parent, so well expresses how hurtful it is to hear typical phrases from those who are well-meaning, though so wrong in their approach. It is an excellent read and an on-hand reference that everyone should have BEFORE the need arises. What a wonderful, anytime gift for anyone! Bravo, Julane Grant!
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
A primer on how to be a good friend! 27 April 1999
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
The recent shootings of high school students at Columbine High School in Denver, Colorado prompted me to take a hard look at books that could help friends and relatives of those families cope with the loss of their children. Grant's small book "When Your Friend's Child Dies" stands out. At first glance, the reader is thinking "of course, that's what anyone should do." But the question is "Why don't we do and say what is in our hearts?" Grant's answer is right on--we are afraid of causing our friend more pain and too embarrassed to show our own emotions.
It is precisely at a time like the death of a friend's child when we should throw all caution to the wind and risk letting our friend know how much we care. Grant's list of the 10 things never to say, and her insight into the small, everyday thoughtful things we can do on an ongoing basis are worth their weight in gold.
Her book is all the more relevant as she covers the anger a parent feels when a child dies as a result of a violent act or senseless carelessness. The parents of those high school students will need compassion, support, and friends as they struggle with their loss in a very public place. Grant's suggestions for helping your friend through his or her anger are unique and thoughtful.
It shouldn't take catastrophes like the one at Columbine to remind us that every child's death is a tragedy. Although Grant wrote this book for friends and families of parents who've lost a child, I think parents will benefit equally. She's captured the pain and sorrow in the heart of every parent who has lost a child.
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
A perfect primer for how to REALLY help a friend grieve. 4 Jun. 1999
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
Julane did a marvelous job of covering virtually every aspect of grieving issues surrounding a death. Grief is a deeply personal period which can be abruptly stifled by inappropriate or inconsiderate comments or actions. And, it can be terribly embarrassing and a guilt conveyance to the friend to do something wrong at such a critical time, when the intent was to provide support. A really terrific read.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
Best Guide to Being a Supportive Friend during Times of Loss 12 April 1999
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
When Your Friend's Child Dies is a beautiful, moving and empathetic guide to helping a friend or relative find peace and cope with the death of a child. There are many books out there on grieving and grief, but this one stands out as tool to help you help others. It is also insightful. The author, having suffered the loss of her son at a young age, sets out to help us be a supportive friend during periods of crisis in the lives of those we love. She notes that there are certain things that should be said and other things that should not. If you are like me, I'm often tongue tied, at a loss for words, during such crisis. This book helps you say what is best for your friend to hear at that time. In addition, the book provides insights into other facets of the grieving process. For instance, one section discusses how men grieve differently than women. As a man, I found this particularly useful and something missing in other books on the subject. Men do not express their feelings as much as work through them (such as working harder, tackling new projects, sports, exercise, etc.). Once women acknowledge this as part of the grieving process, they can be of more support to their male counterparts. All in all, this book is a small investment of time (only 80 pages) and money for something so crucial in all our lives, how to be the caring friend to those we love.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
Helpful Reading 16 July 2000
By Alice J. Wisler - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
In a society where we feel we must have 'all the answers' Julane shows us we do not. When a child dies, the best comfort is being a friend who listens while providing a shoulder to cry on. Cliches are to be avoided. This is the book to buy to teach one how to comfort a friend who has suffered the worst loss, the death of a child.
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