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When Elves Attack: A Joyous Christmas Greeting from the Criminal Nutbars of the Sunshine State (Serge Storms) [Paperback]

Tim Dorsey
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
Price: 7.73 & FREE Delivery in the UK on orders over 10. Details
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Product details

  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: William Morrow & Company; Reprint edition (30 Oct 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 006220579X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0062205797
  • Product Dimensions: 20.3 x 13.9 x 1.2 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 606,911 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

I'm dreaming of a Serge Christmas . . . It's ho, ho, ho time in this hilarious and wacky Florida holiday tale, featuring bighearted psychopath Serge Storms and his sidekick, Coleman. Like Santa, Serge knows who's been naughty and who's been nice. Few can give with the generosity and creativity of Serge, and as December 24 rolls around, he is filling up the Serge sleigh with an unforgettable bag of presents. But before that, it's all a big free-range Christmas office party, where Serge will be spreading his special cheer. And there's that last-minute go-for-broke spree at the mall (just beware of those attacking elves--they bite). So grab a six-pack, spike the eggnog, and hit the dunes on the beach as Serge and Coleman roast some nuts on an open fire and prove that reindeer really do know how to fly!

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Great seasonal mayhem 20 Dec 2011
Serge is off and running again, this is a seasonal adventure that Tim Dorsey fans will love! Serge spreads cheer to all and this is a fantastic escape from taking Christmas holiday stress too seriously
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5.0 out of 5 stars A MERRY, MADCAP ADVENTURE 28 Oct 2011
By Gail Cooke TOP 500 REVIEWER
I've said it before and will say it again - Tim Dorsey is simply one of the funniest writers working today. Manic? Yes. Madcap? Of course. Tossing pineapples at some of our most cherished icons? Every time. This time Dorsey takes on Christmas, that family oriented, carol singing, love to all mankind time of year. Accompanied by his looney sidekick, Coleman, Florida historian/loveable psychopath Serge A. Storms sets out to set things straight (or as straight as he sees them) in the hilarious When Elves Attack.

Most of us have a code, a set of values to which we adhere - Serge does, too. While he's adept at amassing large piles of stolen copper pipes and wires, he does draw the line (albeit a thin one) at some things. For instance, he honors our veterans. In light of a recent theft that he heard about on the news, Serge explains, "...even the War on Terror has rules. Like, you don't use crowbars to pry the brass plaques of VFW posts that list the names of all the local patriots who have made the supreme sacrifice since the First World War."

And, they're off on a raucous romp including a never to be forgotten office party and a spree at the mall. Serge may have criminal tendencies, but they're certainly creative ones.


- Gail Cooke
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Amazon.com: 4.3 out of 5 stars  128 reviews
26 of 28 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Serge and Coleman, taking Christmas big! 5 Oct 2011
By Scott Schiefelbein - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Vine Customer Review of Free Product (What's this?)
Full disclosure - I picked up Tim Dorsey's latest Serge Storms novel, "When Elves Attack," immediately after finishing George R. R. Martin's massive tome, "A Dance With Dragons." With all due respect to Mr. Martin and his book, which I enjoyed, words cannot express the joy of reading a new Dorsey novel - he packs more gonzo delight into 200 pages than any reader, sane or otherwise, can expect.

Serge Storms loves Christmas and is willing to fight for it. Considering that Serge is a serial killer par excellence, that should be troubling to some. Not for us, though, as we get to ride along with Serge (and perpetually stoned sidekick Coleman) for a pell-mell paean to all that is good and true about Florida and the holidays.

Serge is one of those characters you kind of wish was in your life, if only because Serge solves problems. Granted, he does so in an unusual way, but when Serge solves a problem it tends to remain solved. And who doesn't have problems over the holidays? If you've got a mother-in-law who never stops reminding you of your shortcomings? Call Serge. If your teenage daughter wants a tattoo or gets in over her head with guy named Snake? Call Serge. If you just don't know what to get your wife for Christmas? Umm, better not call Serge.

"When Elves Attack" is a flat-out hilarious walk through the silliness of the holiday season in the land where it never snows. It's much shorter than your average Serge Storms novel, but it has as many laughs per page as the others do, if not more. And Dorsey treats us to a few episodes of Florida justice, Serge style.

So grab this book and make it an annual holiday read. Sure, it may never replace "Twas the Night Before Christmas" as a story you'd want to read aloud to the kids on Christmas Eve, but it will sure help you smile as the family invades and you haven't bought all the presents and your mom and your wife are already at it and . . .
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Merry Christmas to you, Serge! 19 Oct 2011
By Donald Capone - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Vine Customer Review of Free Product (What's this?)
A heads up: Long time fans of the Serge Storms series who know the characters, history, and inside jokes will appreciate this slightly-shorter-than-usual novel. The plot, however, is a little thinner than usual, and the bad guys aren't very evil; mostly it's just Serge's exaggerated take on Christmas. But still hilarious. If you haven't read any of the earlier novels, I'd suggest with starting at the beginning of the series instead on this one. I consider this novel a Christmas present from Dorsey (and Serge) to his long time fans. That being said...

Serial killer Serge Storms and his stoner sidekick Coleman are back in this Christmas-themed novel from author Tim Dorsey. I've been a fan of this series for a long time now. Dorsey is a sick man, and I mean that in the most complimentary way. His writing is manic, frantic, and funny. Not only does he continue to come up with new scenarios for his wacky characters, but he also gets to make fun of topical issues at the same time. Whether it's the way the news media over-covers stories, or the way we view our elders (see the G-Unit), or the way Florida's cheesy, but unique landmarks from the 50s and 60s are slowly being replaced by strip malls. In this book, Serge sets out to take back Christmas. The new PC rules dictates "Season's Greetings" should replace the old reliable "Merry Christmas." Serge sets out to correct this, plus he plans to have his biggest Christmas ever! Of course the ever-hyper ADD Serge has many distractions along the way--simple things like murdering a few people, abducting some others, and continuing to meddle in old friend Jim Davenport's life (for better or worse). And, as usual, we get to go along for the deranged ride.

In fact, every time I read another Serge Storms novel, I feel slightly crazy myself afterward, especially when Serge's logic begins to make sense. I think mental health workers should contact Mrs. Dorsey as a precaution, make sure Tim is alright. Like undercover cops who become criminals themselves, I fear the worst for Dorsey. But he keeps pumping out these wacky novels, and we get to read them!
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Serge Saves Christmas 2 Oct 2011
By W. Sanders - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Vine Customer Review of Free Product (What's this?)
There's more humanity in a Tim Dorsey novel than 'War and Peace'. In this short (perhaps too short) novel, the Florida Don Quixote , Serge, and his blitzed Sancho Panza, Coleman, are out righting wrongs and making this Christmas the perfect one. It's as fun as all of Tim Dorsey novels, but instead of just running exploitive contractors and land developers to ground and serving up their just desserts, Serge takes on exploiters of young girls, bullies, passive aggressive mother-in-laws and mall parking lot Christmas spoilers. Further, he helps rescue fugitives of a nursing home from caregivers who don't care and helps them re-connect with life, independence and fun.

In the meantime, he's learning about living a good and valued life from his idol, Jim Davenport, a mild mannered suburbanite whose only job is to serve as a hatchet man for companies who are too spineless to fire employees themselves. In the current climate, business is booming for Davenport whose meek, non-confrontational style makes him the perfect guy to tell some poor schmuck that he/she has just been laid off. So Serge moves in across the street from Davenport and tries to ape his every move, driving Davenport's wife to distraction.

In discussing his view of life and how he finds it necessary to dispatch the nasties in society, Serge is upbeat, reasonable and funny. His explanations for the havoc he wrecks sound very much like the military talking about "collateral damage" or a car company saving 50 cents per auto by not putting in a simple safety device that would save drivers from a fiery death or disfigurement, as in the case of the Ford Pinto. Serge sounds funny only because he tells the truth in a different way. Instead of a hand-wringing (and ineffective) campaign for better treatment of the elderly in nursing homes that we see on TV all the time...wait a minute; we don't see campaigns for better treatment of the elderly on TV. In fact, some political factions are claiming that the elderly should have their benefits cut because they are no longer working. That's why we really need characters like Serge; they point out the obvious injustices and do something about it. Readers recognize such injustices as voiced by Serge and don't mind that he occasionally knocks off an evil doer. This time out, Serge and Coleman are wearing elf costumes and delivering their own brand of very funny justice.
15 of 20 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Dorsey Phones One In 15 Oct 2011
By Gary Griffiths - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Vine Customer Review of Free Product (What's this?)
Florida may be the 27th state to enter the union, but measured in wackiness, it is the undisputed champion - a state so rich in zany content that a host of writers and columnists - Dave Barry and Carl Hiaasen notable among them - make their living chronicling the state's misfits and misdeeds. But among this crackpot pack, none reflects Florida's manic energy as well as the heavily caffeinated Tim Dorsey and his frenetic serial killer Serge Storms. I'm a big Tim Dorsey fan, and was looking forward to his latest tale of Serge's mayhem in "When Elves Attack."

Regrettably, this one misses the mark. A big part of Dorsey's magic is the rich backdrop of Florida history, trivia, and minutia that calm the pace and tone the pandemonium, infused variously with notorious figures like Al Capone or real life contemporaries like the Everglade's Lucky Cole. But "Elves" has little of this, merely a tired rehash of 2002's "Triggerfish Twist." Set during the holiday period, Serge and stoner-sidekick Coleman don elf suits and return to their rental on Triggerfish Lane - across the street from suburbanites Jim and Martha Davenport. There's never much plotting in a Dorsey venture, but this one reads more like reality TV - unstructured, spontaneous, and tedious. Yes, Serge dispatches some bad guys in his typically creative ways, but this time the thugs are not so despicable and the murders are less inspired. And Dorsey does show some keen insight and deliciously cynical observations of family tensions, in-laws, and teenagers during the holiday season. But despite having its brief moments, "When Elves Attack" has a "got-to-meet-the-contract" feel to it; a rare lukewarm effort from Dorsey whose brevity may be its strongest attribute.

So maybe The Sunshine State is finally running dry of material, or maybe Dorsey is just taking a Mulligan. If you haven't read Tim Dorsey, don't start here - go back to "Florida Roadkill" and enjoy the ride. And for the Dorsey fan, I'd recommend sitting this one out and waiting for next season.
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Lazy effort 5 Dec 2011
By B. Wilfong - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I always enjoy Tim Dorsey's books when I am on the beach. They are perfect reading for that locale. They are funny, easily plotted, and Dorsey is a clever writer. "When Elves Attack" meets none of these simple standards.
The book has a rushed to market feel to it, and one wonders if his publisher was just trying to capitalize on the holiday themed book bonanza. The text is half the length of a normal Dorsey novel, and the change is not for the better. As a result of the apparent rush, the book is poorly written and is filled with obvious high school creative writing class moments and phrases. It reads like a treatment for a television script actually. Abrupt with no details, just giving you the basic outline as it were.
The plot is really a shorter version of earlier novels, recycling characters from previous works including the geriatric ladies group the G-unit, and the Davenport family, headed up by the doormat Jim. I don't have a problem with reusing characters, but at least augment them. Here Serge's sidekick Coleman (who I have loved in previous books) is reduced to restating as a character what the narrator has just said. He says the obvious and redundant, "Look Serge", etc. and that does not a character make.
The last 20 pages are just flat out lazy writing, complete with hokey ending. However, the "Note on the Type" is clever, and at only 194 pages it is a decent holiday diversion. But don't expect a lot.
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