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When Depression Hurts Your Relationship: How to Regain Intimacy and Reconnect with Your Partner When You're Depressed [Paperback]

Shannon Kolakowski

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Book Description

1 April 2014

If you've sought treatment for and have been diagnosed with depression, you have made a huge first step toward healing and creating a happier life. But sometimes there are growing pains along the way, and if you are in a relationship, often your partner will feel these pains right along with you.

When you are feeling depressed, you may worry that you aren't good enough for your partner, or become irritable around them. You may even push them away when you feel like your emotions are beyond your control. In addition, your sense of intimacy may diminish, and your sex life may fizzle as a result of fatigue and medications. The hard truth is that feelings of isolation, worthlessness, and tiredness can all take a hefty toll on your love life. But you don't have to let clinical depression be the demise of your relationship.

Using an integrative approach based in mindfulness, interpersonal psychotherapy (ITP), acceptance and commitment therapy ACT), and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), When Depression Hurts Your Relationship offers practical skills to help readers with depression reignite intimacy with their partners.

If you suffer from depression, this book is a must-read to help keep your romantic relationship healthy, exciting, and rewarding for you both.

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More About the Author

Shannon Kolakowski, PsyD is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice. She blogs for Huffington Post, and is the author of "Single, Shy, and Looking For Love: A Dating Guide for the Shy and Socially Anxious" and "When Depression Hurts Your Relationship." Dr. Kolakowski's work has been featured in magazines such as Redbook, ParentMap and Men's Health Magazine, as well as online at Shape.com and eHarmony. She's made television appearances on New Day Northwest and ABC news. Her expertise lies in combining the latest research with her personal insight, experience, and passion for the practice of psychology. She lives with her husband in Seattle, WA. Visit her online at drshannonk.com.

Product Description


""When Depression Hurts Your Relationship "provides readers with scientifically-grounded yet accessible knowledge that they can apply to their lives. It's a valuable contribution to the genre of science-help, and I have no doubt that it will help readers improve their relationships and live more fulfilling lives." --David DiSalvo, author of "Brain Changer: How Harnessing Your Brain's Power to Adapt Can Change Your Life "

About the Author

Shannon Kolakowski, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist in private practice. She blogs for Huffington Post and PsychCentral, and is the author of the upcoming book, Dating for the Shy and Socially Anxious. Kolakowski is an active member of the American Psychological Association.

Foreword writer Craig Malkin, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, author, and instructor of psychology for Harvard Medical School. His articles and insights have frequently been featured in publications like Psychology Today, match.com's Happen Magazine and Women's Health, and he's made numerous TV and radio appearances, including NPR and Fox news.

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Amazon.com: 4.8 out of 5 stars  6 reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Most helpful book on depression out there! 1 Mar 2014
By Alexa M. Duncan - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I have read so many books on depression, I can't even count them. I've suffered from depression and anxiety for 8 years, and have found little solace in therapy or any of those books that I read. I'm in a 3 year relationship that has been tested and tried by my depression, and finally I have found something that really brings home all the things we have been through together as a couple. I had searched forever on the internet to find cases that sounded anything like what we had been going through, but was altogether unsuccessful and began to feel hopeless. But upon finding this book, I finally began to understand the ways in which my depression had begun to control my relationship. It offers immediate solutions to problems that I have been struggling to get my head around for years. Reading the book alone, of course, isn't a fix, you need to be committed to change, and ready and willing to make things happen for yourself, but I cannot stress enough what a relief it was to find this book. I truly felt understood. And it helped my boyfriend to understand what I was going through when I couldn't find the words to describe it to him. I recommend this book to anyone who has suffered from depression and is in a relationship. You would be surprised to learn that many of the problems in your relationship are actually caused by symptoms of depression (from my perspective, at least).
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars EXCELENT 23 May 2014
By cORY mUNN - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Had a lot of great ideas. It really made me more aware of my and others actions and view points. Was an eye-opener!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A great book 28 Feb 2014
By smithtownds - Published on Amazon.com
This is a comprehensive book that covers so many aspects about how depression affects relationships. It is an easy and informative read. Dr. Kolakowski offers tips and techniques that will help couples cope with depression - how to manage issues, how to communicate, and most of all, how to love through it all. This is not only a great book for couples, but also for anyone in the mental health field as well.
4.0 out of 5 stars This is a must read for ALL struggling relationships 24 Jun 2014
By Leanna Manuel, Psy.D. - author of Don't Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping and Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom With EFT - Published on Amazon.com
This is a really helpful book - well written and full of concrete tools that anyone can use to strengthen a relationship.

I received this book in a goodreads.com giveaway and I'm very glad I did. I'm always looking for resources to use with my clients and this one caught my attention. I really liked the cover design.

I do think this book sells itself short by marketing itself as a depression and relationship book because the exercises and insights would strengthen any relationship, not just those weakened by depression.

The chapter on Reigniting Your Sexual Desire will be a great help to many clients. The practical suggestions for Managing Painful Emotions were top notch.
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is a must read! 14 April 2014
By Tracy Collins - Published on Amazon.com
Dr. Kolakowski shows great insight into the realm of depression and how it can effect relationships. When Depression Hurts Your Relationship: How to Regain Intimacy and Reconnect with Your Partner When You’re Depressed is great read that provides simple and easy-to-read information. Dr. Kolakowski is a valuable resource. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and I will be recommending this book to my clients who could benefit from this book.
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