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What's Wrong With You: Seven Logical Steps to Understanding Emotional Illusions Paperback – 24 Sep 2004


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What's Wrong With You: Seven Logical Steps to Understanding Emotional Illusions + How I F***ed Up My Life And Made It Mean Something + Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma - The Innate Capacity to Transform Overwhelming Experiences
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Product details

  • Paperback: 302 pages
  • Publisher: Maraki Books (24 Sep 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0976121409
  • ISBN-13: 978-0976121404
  • Product Dimensions: 14 x 1.8 x 21.6 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 379,476 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

About the Author

Benjamin developed an interest in psychotherapy and other areas of personal growth during a long and varied personal treatment starting in his twenties. After a degree in physics and philosophy at Oxford University Benjamin studied psychotherapy at Regent's College in London. He has recently returned there to study towards a professional doctorate in psychotherapy. He wrote the book "What's Wrong With You" and the eponymous column in The Saturday Times Body&Soul section; and recorded the follow-up audio book "How to be Happy" for Hachette Audio. He now contributes to Psychologies magazines' regular feature Fast Therapy in which he features his own method live in session with a reader He is perhaps best known to the nation as the co-presenter of the BBC's groundbreaking and long running "Spendaholics" series on BBC3 in which he helped overspenders by getting to the root of their problems. He was a member of the Center for Social Justice's commission for early years development contributing to their publication Breakthrough Britain, The Next Generation and contributes to their commission on Mental Health. Benjamin has a private practice in Harley Street and is founder of the Happy Hour network for which he trains practitioners from many professions to work with his method.

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Customer Reviews

3.9 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

46 of 48 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 2 Aug 2005
Format: Paperback
This is one of the best self-help books available and likely to be the catalyst for many into whatever form of personal development is the right option - be it therapy, psychotherapy counselling. But Benjamin Fry himself makes no claims to being anything other than someone who has gone through a process. His book is written from the standpoint of one who has faced his demons and sought help from various sources, and pulled all of this together into something that makes sense. By forming an understanding of what lies beneath the techniques that helped him he provides us with a guide, for anyone embarking on a journey to self-discovery, that can only make it easier to navigate.
His book appeals at very many different levels. The author starts by taking a very logical approach about how to deal with what's wrong with you by proposing a simple hypothesis - that the cause of all our problems is the suppressed trauma that we all carry around with us; and that we find hard to deal with simply because we don't understand where it comes from. What we fail to understand is that the constant projection of all of this onto others around us is the wisest part of ourselves - our unconscious - drawing our attention to what needs dealing with. Once we are willing to go beyond the confines of our conscious minds and allow our unconscious minds to do its work unfettered, we can begin to heal. Logical? Yes. But having made the case that this is something you must do, he doesn't let you off the hook of having to feel the pain - he makes clear that the only way to emotional freedom is 'through' it - which is daunting for most of us! These feelings of long buried emotional distress, that probably hurt you more that your grown up logical adult mind can comprehend, are real and valid and have to be resolved.
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18 of 20 people found the following review helpful By fingersmalone on 24 Jun 2005
Format: Paperback
All of us have at some point in our lives done something, or felt something, which has made us gaze, bewildered, into the mirror and say; "What IS wrong with me?" Unfortunately, the answers don't usually come that easily, and we bury the thought, shake our heads and move on with our ordinary lives, allowing the systems and processes that lie at the core of our beings to continue on their merry way, unseen and unchallenged.
It is this lack of fundamental self-knowledge, this failure of our conscious minds to grasp the damaging patterns that we continue to re-inflict on ourselves that this book blames for our frustrations, our worries and our dysfunctions. It tells us that there is a way out, and that way out is through - through ourselves and out the other side into a place of understanding, acceptance, and peace.
Having plumbed the depths of his own psyche following a period of anxiety, panic and depression, Benjamin Fry went on to find out as much as he could about the processes of the human mind. He took the academic route, he took the psychotherapeutic route, he took the lifestyle route - basically he got the t-shirt and he wore it. It prompted him to see the world, and those of us that walk it, in a new way, not through the filter of pre-conceptions and projection, but as things really are. From this sprang theories about emotional trauma and how it holds us back from fulfilling our potential and our desires. Most self-help books are just a variation on ancient themes. This book, however, is one entire unified theory.
The book doesn't just theorize, however. It also doesn't lecture.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 21 Dec 2005
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I love this book. I had heard good reviews and having read a number of other self help books I was at the end of my tether! It is written in a easy readable style and what is written really makes sense and pulls at your heart strings. Most of what is written stays with you after you have put it down. What's more it actually helps you understand 'what is wrong with you' in a gentle caring non judgemental manner and doesnt make out you are a freak! This book is a god send to me and has made me so much more happier as I am able to cope with life's traumas with a smile on my face. BUY IIT now and you won't regret it.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By A Googly on 7 Feb 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
As the spread of reviews demonstrate, this book is what you make of it. Indeed some might say that if you respond to it negatively, you're projecting your own discomfort onto the book!

I'm not a regular reader of self-help books but was curious to know more about the psychoanalytic process and develop a better understanding of some of the barriers that can prevent us dealing with particular problems in our lives and how we deal with them. Fry demonstrates this both through examples from his own life (not all of which I suspect happened quite how he describes them, but that's beside the point), and in responses to readers' own questions and concerns - so I'd disagree with the critique that the book should be 'what's wrong with me', since the author uses his own experiences to develop general themes.

It's a broad tour of the human condition, from self-confidence through to religion, with questions for the reader posed at the end of each section. Personally I've used this not as a work book but as a useful framework for assessing my own situation, and a step towards seeing a therapist; for those interested in knowing more about that process, you may also wish to look at a more detailed book such as A Short Introduction to Psychoanalysis (Short Introductions to the Therapy Professions).

I liked this book and found it a useful perspective on what makes us who we are. Your experiences may vary, but give it a try (and look at Fry's website too to get a sense of how he writes and thinks).
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