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What Do You Say After You Say Hello [Paperback]

Eric Berne
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
RRP: 8.99
Price: 6.29 & FREE Delivery in the UK on orders over 10. Details
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Book Description

30 April 1975
What Do You Say After You Say Hello? explains what makes the winners win, the losers lose, and the in-betweens so boring... In it, Dr Eric Berne reveals how everyone's life follows a predetermined script - a script they compose for themselves during early childhood. The script may be a sad one, it may be a successful one; it decides how a person will relate to his colleagues, what sort of person he will marry, how many children he will have, and even what sort of bed he will die in... What Do You Say After You Say Hello? demonstrates how each life script gets written, how it works and, more important, how anyone can improvise or change his script to make a happy ending...

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What Do You Say After You Say Hello + Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships + I'm Ok, You're Ok
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Product details

  • Paperback: 512 pages
  • Publisher: Corgi; New Ed edition (30 April 1975)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 055209806X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0552098069
  • Product Dimensions: 10.6 x 3 x 17.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 9,109 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

Book Description

How to have successful relationships in every walk of life.

From the Back Cover

What Do You Say After You Say Hello? explains what makes the winners win, the losers lose, and the in-betweens so boring...

In it, Dr Eric Berne reveals how everyone's life follows a predetermined script - a script they compose for themselves during early childhood. The script may be a sad one, it may be a successful one; it decides how a person will relate to his colleagues, what sort of person he will marry, how many children he will have, and even what sort of bed he will die in...

What Do You Say After You Say Hello? demonstrates how each life script gets written, how it works and, more important, how anyone can improvise or change his script to make a happy ending...


Inside This Book (Learn More)
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars
4.1 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
73 of 75 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
"What Do You Say After You Say Hello" is a sequel to Dr Eric Berne's book "Games People Play". In that book, Berne argued that human beings participate in a series of deceptive rituals and manoeuvres ('games') that hamper real communication and intimacy.
In this book, he extends that theory (transactional analysis) towards human destiny that he says is predetermined by a 'script' people compose in early childhood before they have reached six years old. This script will determine whether that person is a winner, non-winner or a loser. Berne's theory is well founded, taking into genetic, prenatal and parental influences that make up a person's life script. The aim of the book is to act as guide for fellow psychiatrists in recognizing scripts and eliminating their more negative aspects in their patients.
According to Berne, a person's childhood-written script follows closely myths and fairy tales, and the differing roles (Hero, Victim, Villain, Ally, etc) than in simple common sense. People are capable of changing their scripts, but more often than not stick by them, as this is easier to do than to effect any real change in their lives.
Berne covers all aspects of the script using popular fairy-tale analogies like Cinderella and Little Red Riding Hood to help illustrate his points. He also includes objections to the Script Theory and a Script Check List for patients.
This book should be a handbook for human psychologists and would appeal to anyone interested in psychology. Casual readers, if they can hack the terminology, might find it interesting as well.
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48 of 50 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A very insightful book around the topic of TA. 31 May 2000
By Magus
Format:Paperback
This is a thorough and thought provking book written by the creator of Transactional Analysis (TA). It takes you from understanding the basics of TA to its implications in Theraphy and life in general. It allows you to look for your own scripts as well as reading those of others and it introduces to the reader the power of names. For those serious about TA it provides a pathway for future research as it is rich in references and for those new to TA, it is definately a book worth chewing and savouring its juices...Enjoy!
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27 of 29 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars ongoing review 20 Feb 2004
Format:Paperback
I am only half way through this and it's excellent. Well written and quirky. It has hardly dated. I often think Berne would have made a great novelist and storyteller, had it not been in his script to be an innovator in psychotherapy.
The problem is not that I can't put it down , but that what he has to say is so thought provoking my brain tends to go off at a tangent every other paragraph. This makes for slow reading and I've found I can't read it in the quiet hours as it wakes me up!
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33 of 36 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Not for beginners 21 Jan 2007
Format:Paperback
If you are new to "transactional analysis" I would recommend that you read "I'm OK, Your OK" by Thomas A. Harris instead because it is much easier to understand than this book which I found very challenging at times. Another book which I would definitely recommend is "Counselling for Toads- A Psychological Adventure" by Robert de Board which was a very interesting read. It teaches the basics of transactional analysis through a story based on Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars "I showed them..." 7 Sep 2012
By Mark Stipanovsky TOP 1000 REVIEWER
Format:Paperback
On your deathbed - what will you say?

"I showed them..."

Chapter 10 - Maturity and Death asks the above question and the answer is quite an eye opener because...

What's your because?

I enjoy reading Eric Berne's books and every time I re-read one - something new pops out and intrigues me.

The idea that we all have a "story" or script is nothing new and yet most people put more effort into buying a "sofa" for their house than taking five minutes and analysing their life and how it's taking shape...

The psychology of human destiny aka "What Do You Say After You Say Hello" is quite a bold statement and this book is a follow on from the hugely popular "Games People Play".

Having some prior knowledge of Transactional Analysis will be really helpful - although not essential to get the best out of this book.

It was written in and published in the early 1970's and because psychotherapy language keeps mutating and evolving - similar to the actual theories - the language may make you smile here and there - or even grimace - depends on your "Script" - I reckon...

Anyway, book is split into over 20 chapters with notes and references at the end of each and covers the principles of Transactional Analysis and "Script theory".

The first two parts (chapters 1-10) are basically written as a story about "how our own story is created, reinforced and played out" right up until the "I showed you"...
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book on human transactions 19 Feb 2009
Format:Paperback
I bought this book because I thought the cover was intriguing. I could see myself in it and wondering what have I done to make him/her angry. And why does it always happen to me? The book indeed answered the questions. We all know in some way that life is like a play on stage and that it can be a good play or a bad one. This book is just the formalisation of this well known metaphore. My copy is falling into pieces by how many times I consulted it whenever I thought I was doing my piece again.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Sometimes difficult to follow
I have read a lot of physiology books. This book can at times be difficult to follow and may be more aimed at practitioners rather than people with general interest.
Published 4 months ago by kevin masters
4.0 out of 5 stars Understandable
i purchased this book as i have been interested in this subject after many years and many books and plenty of counselling i have at last got the guist of it all i would... Read more
Published 9 months ago by lindaking
3.0 out of 5 stars So, so...
I've never really clicked with Eric Berne's style and found this book ok, but it wasn't the eye-opener I was hoping for. Read more
Published 11 months ago by katie
4.0 out of 5 stars What Do You Say After You Say Hello
Having been on a course many years ago I would say that this is a good intro to this subject.
Published 14 months ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars What do you say...
I had this book many years ago in paper back, still refer to it for a number of situation both socially and for work. Very good book.
Published 15 months ago by Mike
5.0 out of 5 stars Fabulous book
This was replacement copy as my previous one has strayed from the bookshelf. (I lent it to someone who loves it so much they have kept it! Read more
Published 16 months ago by Benji
3.0 out of 5 stars Okay
The summary as written on line prepared one for this book. No great surprises. Enjoyable to read if this is your taste in literature
Published 18 months ago by pat neale
4.0 out of 5 stars What do you say after you say hello
Quite accessible interpretation of Transaction analysis ,perhaps a little dated ,but offers insights and understandings ,which can help create self awareness and a realistic... Read more
Published 21 months ago by Ben ,aylott
3.0 out of 5 stars Not for me but enjoyed his other book
I have read other books by the same author but this one was way too deep for me... although i have seen others have written recomendations in their reviews for those who are not... Read more
Published on 19 April 2012 by .
4.0 out of 5 stars A hard layman's read but worth the effort
After reading "games people play", I decided to delve further into transactional analysis this book certainly makes it possible for a greater understanding of how people structure... Read more
Published on 9 Oct 2011 by Mr
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