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What To Do When You Really Want To Help But Don't Know How (Samaritans)

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What To Do When You Really Want To Help But Don't Know How (Samaritans) (Paperback)

by Susan Quilliam (Author), Joanne Griffith (Illustrator)

5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (2 customer reviews)

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Product details

Paperback: 112 pages
Publisher: Transformation Press; 2 edition (April 1998)
Language English
ISBN-10: 1902359003
ISBN-13: 978-1902359007
Product Dimensions: 21 x 13.8 x 0.6 cm

Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (2 customer reviews)

Amazon.co.uk Sales Rank: 167,037 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Product Description

Review
Inside information on being truly supportive, including how to get someone to open up; when to back off; why you shouldn't give advice; how to spot if your 'helping' has a self-serving agenda; when to suggest outside help, and how to stop helping when you're no longer needed. Especially astute on accepting other's feelings and resisting the temptation to respond in unhelpful ways: through criticism; rejecting the person's emotions; shifting the conversation to your own problems or - that classic women's comment on men - trying to fix the problem without listening to the feelings attached. (Kirkus UK)

Synopsis
We all know someone who is struggling with a problem, and we may think we know how to help - but, do we? This book offers help in such dilemmas by providing the combined advice of a relationship psychologist and the Samaritans to show how to support people. The style is simple, compassionate and humorous.

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5.0 out of 5 stars (2 customer reviews)

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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars It's a must - such a helpful book., 8 April 2004

By A Customer

I read this book because I've always got a buzz from helping people, and wanted to see what it would say. It's a very easy read, broken up into short sections full of great anecdotes. Reading this book will give you the knowledge you need to help your friends, relatives, work colleagues and infact anyone you meet by really listening to them. It's nice to know that next time a friend bursts into tears infront of me, or phones me with a problem I might know better what to say! It only took me a few hours to read, but the information I learnt I will carry with me for life.

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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful and comprehensive guide to helping those in crisis, 21 April 2008

By	L. Bates (UK) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This is a really practical guide which gives helpful advice on a much wider range of issues than simply how to help someone. Offering help, support or advice to a person in crisis is a serious responsiblity to take on and the authors make sure that the reader is aware of this, guiding them through sections on how to know when something is wrong, how to know whether or not you are qualified to help, how to help, and when to know that it is time to accept that the problem is beyond your help or control and experts must be called in.

Specific examples are used of different ways in which a listener might respond to another person's problem, along with the responses of the person with the problem to the feedback they are given. This helps the reader to understand the different ways of approaching somebody in trouble and how important it is to do this in the right way, as well as the impact different responses may have. This is extremely important in highlighting the Samaritan's golden rule that listening is one of the most powerful tools to support others, and that they shouldn't have advice or orders forced upon them just because they are in trouble - often they just need to be listened to in a safe non-judgemental environment until they can decide for themselves what action is best to take.

There is an in depth exploration of various high-risk life stages, and particular crises to look out for, and the in depth advice is broken up with more compact helpful hints on the 'secrets of helping'. Other really useful sections include one highlighting common minefields for helpers to look out for, and even a section on how to cope when you're no longer needed by the person you have been supporting.

It is very important to be aware that reading this book does not qualify you as a counsellor or a samaritan, and useful contacts such as the Samaritans themselves are listed at the back of the book to pass on to those who are in crisis and need professional aid.

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