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What To Do When You Really Want To Help But Don't Know How (Samaritans) Paperback – 1 Mar 1999

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Product details

  • Paperback: 112 pages
  • Publisher: Transformation Press; 2nd edition edition (1 Mar. 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1902359003
  • ISBN-13: 978-1902359007
  • Product Dimensions: 21 x 13.8 x 0.6 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 488,388 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Who am I? Born in Liverpool, I trained in psychology, teaching and
counselling. Pretty soon, I realised that what underpinned all these
activities - and what really motivates me - is the single goal of
helping people have the best relationships they can possibly have.

So for the past 30-something years I've been doing just that through
my books!

I'm delighted to now be published in 33 countries and 24 languages,
to have sold over 1 million copies of my work, to have written the
best-selling book on Relate's publishing list (Stop Arguing Start
Talking) and to have had my writing recognised by being designated
one of the Family Planning Association's 21st Century Achievers.

I also love supporting clients to have good relationships through my
coaching services, by writing advice columns for Fabulous magazine
and the Cliterati website, but also by being on the Editorial
Committee of the global Journal of Family Planning and Reproductive
Health as well as on the Advisory Boards of the Sexual Advice Association, Women's Health Concern and the Open University Enduring Love? project.

I also know that dreams come true. Because I once said to a friend
that my dream would be to update the Joy of Sex for the 21st century.
Guess what? Seven years ago I was asked by the Joy of Sex estate to
do just that. The project was a total privilege and pleasure, the
result won Publication of the Year at the Erotic Awards 2010, and it
remains my favourite book to date.

If you'd like to know what else I do; to read my qualifications,
credentials and affiliations; to ask me a question, or to discuss
working together, please do get in touch via my website I'd love to hear from you.

Product Description


We all know someone who is struggling with a problem, and we may think we know how to help - but, do we? This book offers help in such dilemmas by providing the combined advice of a relationship psychologist and the Samaritans to show how to support people. The style is simple, compassionate and humorous.

Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful By L. Bates on 21 April 2008
Format: Paperback
This is a really practical guide which gives helpful advice on a much wider range of issues than simply how to help someone. Offering help, support or advice to a person in crisis is a serious responsiblity to take on and the authors make sure that the reader is aware of this, guiding them through sections on how to know when something is wrong, how to know whether or not you are qualified to help, how to help, and when to know that it is time to accept that the problem is beyond your help or control and experts must be called in.

Specific examples are used of different ways in which a listener might respond to another person's problem, along with the responses of the person with the problem to the feedback they are given. This helps the reader to understand the different ways of approaching somebody in trouble and how important it is to do this in the right way, as well as the impact different responses may have. This is extremely important in highlighting the Samaritan's golden rule that listening is one of the most powerful tools to support others, and that they shouldn't have advice or orders forced upon them just because they are in trouble - often they just need to be listened to in a safe non-judgemental environment until they can decide for themselves what action is best to take.

There is an in depth exploration of various high-risk life stages, and particular crises to look out for, and the in depth advice is broken up with more compact helpful hints on the 'secrets of helping'. Other really useful sections include one highlighting common minefields for helpers to look out for, and even a section on how to cope when you're no longer needed by the person you have been supporting.

It is very important to be aware that reading this book does not qualify you as a counsellor or a samaritan, and useful contacts such as the Samaritans themselves are listed at the back of the book to pass on to those who are in crisis and need professional aid.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 8 April 2004
Format: Paperback
I read this book because I've always got a buzz from helping people, and wanted to see what it would say. It's a very easy read, broken up into short sections full of great anecdotes. Reading this book will give you the knowledge you need to help your friends, relatives, work colleagues and infact anyone you meet by really listening to them. It's nice to know that next time a friend bursts into tears infront of me, or phones me with a problem I might know better what to say! It only took me a few hours to read, but the information I learnt I will carry with me for life.
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful By carol on 25 Aug. 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Compact, clear and informative. An interesting subject handled well by the author who knows her stuff. Easy to read in one sitting
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