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What We Say Matters: Practicing Nonviolent Communication

What We Say Matters: Practicing Nonviolent Communication [Kindle Edition]

Judith Hanson Lasater , Ike K. Lasater
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)

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Product Description

Product Description

For yoga teacher Judith Hanson Lasater and her husband, mediator Ike K. Lasater, language is a spiritual practice based on giving and receiving with compassion. In What We Say Matters, they offer new and nurturing ways of communicating. Long-term students of yoga and Buddhism, the authors here blend the yoga principle of satya (truth) and the Buddhist precept of right speech with Marshall Rosenberg's groundbreaking techniques of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) in a fresh formula for promoting peace at home, at work, and in the world. The authors offer practical exercises to help readers in any field learn to diffuse anger; make requests rather than demands or assign blame; understand the difference between feelings and needs; recognize how they strategize to get needs met; choose connection over conflict; and extend empathy to themselves and others.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 260 KB
  • Print Length: 179 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1930485247
  • Publisher: Rodmell Press (1 Oct 2009)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B003UBAX5I
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #223,654 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Inspiring, life-affirming, joyful, and also practical, direct and accessible; This book is a brilliant way to enhance your relationships in all areas of life, and most crucially, with yourself. It brings yogic philosophy into a modern context and applies it to how we communicate with each other. It is the antidote to all those 'communication techniques' fashionable in recent years, based on how to get one over on somebody else. This book paves the way to a world that is based on common sense, compassion and respect. I think everybody wishes things could be like this, but we're told it's not possible; this makes you believe in the human spirit again! Whatever you are seeking, whatever the question, this book is the answer.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.8 out of 5 stars  20 reviews
31 of 31 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent 1 Nov 2009
By Tina - Published on
I love anything written by Judith Hanson Lasater and this book was a very pleasant surprise as it deals with a subject matter that I really read about - Empathy and nonviolent communication.

Ever since I have discovered yoga, I have also tried to listen more to my inner voice and realized just how negative and at times, hurtful, my thoughts can be. I seriously believe that this translates into my thoughts affecting my moods, my body, my spirit and everything outside of me - i.e. how I deal with people and situations.

Reading What We Say Matters was an eye opener and actually confirmed alot of things that I always suspected. I like that the authors compare speech to spirituality and argue that both can be combined in a nonviolent and loving manner. They encourage us to use compassion and to cultivate this compassion in every interaction that we have both with the outside world and with our internal communications.

Written almost from a personal level, the authors share some of their stories and give us englightment as to how to apply a kinder, gentler way in our communications - which starts internally with ourselves.
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Solution for World Peace? 8 Feb 2010
By Amy Putkonen - Published on
Imagine if you could purchase the tools needed to gain world peace for only $15? That sounds like a joke, doesn't it? It is my belief that the book entitled What We Say Matters by Dr. Judith and Ike Lasater has the ability to do just that if everyone in the world followed their great suggestions. (That is the tricky part, isn't it? lol....)

What We Say Matters is a very powerful book about the effect our everyday communications have on the world around us. With techniques drawn from their extensive work with NVC, or Nonviolent Communication, Dr. Judith and Ike Lasater bring us through simple techniques that we can use to retrain our communication towards making peace with the people we interact with on a daily basis - especially our intimate connections that we have with our family and friends.

I have been a proponent of conflict resolution communication techniques for much of my adult life but have never come across anything so simple and easy to implement as the techniques displayed within this book. If you find yourself challenged by your dealings with others (honestly, who hasn't?) you should do yourself a favor and read this book.
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent introduction to the principles of Nonviolent Communication 9 Mar 2010
By doctor_beth - Published on
NOTE: I received a free review copy of this book from the publisher.

This book, written by married couple Judith and Ike Lasater, describes the techniques of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) a method developed by Marshall Rosenberg. The authors begin by introducing the basic concepts of the NVC method, breaking down the process into four simple steps involving observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Specific examples of both feelings and needs are provided, and at the end of each chapter, suggestions are given for ways to practice what you have learned in that section. The volume continues in this basic manner, with the authors presenting additional skills to be used in conjunction with the principle elements of NVC. Some of these added components include making conversational choices, such as giving empathy to ourselves and/or others, and increasing personal awareness.

In the second half of the book, the authors address communication skills in more specific situations, including talking to partners, talking to children/parents, talking at work, and bringing NVC into the world. For the partners section, Judith and Ike are able to provide a unique perspective, using examples from their own marriage. Similarly, in discussing children, the authors acknowledge the challenges they faced within their own family, reflecting on the especially trying toddler and teenage years. I found myself particularly interested in the applications of NVC to workplace situations. In this chapter, Ike focuses on efficiency in communication, not only verbal contacts but also other forms of communication such as e-mail and voice mail messages. Although I found this section useful, I would have liked to have seen some more specific examples. For instance, Ike mentions that he sometimes drafts his e-mails using NVC language, then re-writes them using more colloquial wording; it would have been very helpful to have included before and after samples here.

Overall, this book provides a basic, useful introduction to the principles of NVC. The techniques are presented in a simple, straightforward manner, and I especially liked that the authors applied the method to a variety of situations/settings. However, the authors specifically state that it took them years to learn how to become more adept at NVC techniques. Although their book is clearly an attempt to simply this process--in fact, they note in their introduction that "learning NVC needn't be so difficult"--it seems clear that *mastering* NVC is something that indeed requires a great deal of motivation, commitment, dedication, and time. However, this book offers an excellent introduction to the method.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent - Every Yoga Teacher Should Read This Book!! 13 Sep 2010
By Mark Stephens - Published on
Skillful communication is perhaps a yoga teacher's most valuable asset. With What We Say Matters: Practicing Non-Violent Communication, Judith Lasater and husband Ike Lasater have given us a gem to better light the paths of yoga teachers and students alike. The basic thread of their message is that our language reflects what's happening inside; getting clearer inside about our own thoughts and feelings allows us to engage with others in ways that embody deeper empathetic understanding. Put differently, when we are in our own truth - mindful of who we are, how we feel, and what we need in the present moment - we are more capable of listening to others and honoring their needs.

I had the fortune many years ago to take a number of workshops at with Judith Lasater. In one she spoke eloquently from a place of deep experience about "taking the seat of the teacher," which involves first being honest with ourselves about our intentions and then relating with our students from that place. In What We Say Matters, she and Ike Lasater take this a step further, giving us practical tools for cultivating clearer self-awareness and thereby finding ways of conversing that are consonant with the primary yogic value of non-violence. While I discuss various aspects of student-teacher communication in my book, Teaching Yoga: Essential Foundations and Techniques, the Lasaters' give this topic the more concentrated focus it deserves.

Every yoga teacher should read and re-read this book, do all the workbook exercises, and follow the authors' suggested homework exercises - such as reflective journaling - for exploring their self-awareness and related qualities of communication. I will also recommend this book to all of my students; indeed, it's essential reading for anyone interested in a more peaceful, honest, and happy life.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely Fantastic 28 Dec 2010
By HappyFeet - Published on
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
If you are looking for an excellent "How to Use Nonviolent Communication" book, this is it. Well presented and easy to understand with great exercises included. The book makes it easy for you to coach yourself.

Completely worth the time and money.
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