What to Expect When You're Breastfeeding and What If You Can't?: How to Feed and Settle Your Baby and Have a Life of Your Own [Paperback]

 

 

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I had this book while pregnant and discarded it within 3 months of breast feeding because the information was inaccurate, out of date, recommended needless interventions of expressing and worst of all convinced me that I had poor milk supply! What complete rubbish!!

It is completely undermining of the breastfeeding relationship - does not tell you that it is NORMAL for babies to feed ALL evening, that it is NORMAL for babies to feed much more frequently than 3-4 hourly. Recommending formula "top-ups" is the quickest way to destroy breastfeeding.

There are much better breastfeeding books out there - look at the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League or any of the NCT titles. Better still find a breastfeeding support group locally and go every week! This helped me to breastfeed for over a year (and I was one of the rare people who follow advice not to start solids until 6 months!)

Unfortunately the website wouldn't let me put 0 stars on this review because I cannot say strongly enough that you will regret buying it.
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I think it is great that some mums have posted how helpful they thought this book is. There is some useful advice on feeding in the early days, and the suggestion to offer the breast regularly is perhaps more helpful than the term "demand feeding" which implies you should wait for the baby to cry out to demand a feed when it is tiny. She points out that many babies are too sleepy to do this. My baby didn't cry to be fed until she was 6 weeks old - until then I had to offer regularly and picked up more subtle signs that she wanted to feed. Perhaps "request feeding" would be a better term.

But do be careful what advice you take from this book. I read this when my baby was 3 months and fussing at the breast. I found the information about latch on unhelpful as she suggests lying babies on pillows rather than holding them - not really possible once they are at the wriggly stage so what are you supposed to do then? I found other advice totally undermined my confidence in myself and my ability to breastfeed. It convinced me I had a low supply and suggested checking this by expressing milk at a feed time to see how much you produce. I can sit for an hour expressing milk and have 1oz to show for it! So of course I thought this was the problem - then found out expressing is, for most women, a totally inaccurate way to gauge supply and this clearly wasn't our problem (my baby has gone from 25th to 75th centile by weight so I think she's getting enough milk). The book then convinced me I had an overactive let down. I bought the nipple shield but it didn't help. A breastfeeding consellor checked my latch on, discussed the weight and general demeanor of my baby and managed to convince me I should just trust that baby was doing fine, thriving, so I shouldn't worry. I just had a very nosy baby who wanted to look about and feed at the same time - it was a phase that passed so I could have done without the stress caused by some of the advice in the book.

Unlike other reviewers, I did feel the book was judgmental. She is scathing of people who sleep with their babies and begrudgingly illustrates the feeding lying down position but gives it very short shrift. I know many mothers who have been exhausted in the early days and found this position very helpful, and it certainly got me through some hard nights when there is lots of night waking as you barely need to wake up fully in this position. In addition the information given about introducing solids before six months is very dodgy! She suggests it is cruel to many babies to deny them the calories of solid food when they are obviously hungry. Hilariously inaccurate - formula or breastmilk is the most calorie dense food your baby can have - considering first foods are usually 1 tsp of pureed fruit or veg they would have to eat a phenomenal amount to get enough calories to fill them up! Ever noticed how babies put on more weight in the first 6 months of life than at any other time? That's because all they have to eat is milk! Once solids are introduced the gain begins to slow.

In reality, it is misleading to expect any book to have all the answers to very specific problems. If you find the answers in this book that is great but for me it didn't offer the help I needed. My baby is also a bottle refuser - something else the book doesn't really help with, and I expected there to be emotional support for women who have given up trying to breastfeed (due to the "what if you can't" of the title) but was disappointed that this was not covered at all. In my opinion you're best off finding a decent breastfeeding counsellor (search via NCT or La Leche League online - there will be one somewhere near you, and if you don't like the first one you meet keep looking) who can discuss your individual problem and help you. Breatfeeding can be tough but one of the toughest things is the leap of faith you have to take - you have no idea how much your baby drinks, if they are really hungry, if you are over or under feeding them and I think this book plays into those concerns. In my experience, once you know baby is latched on properly, just finally relaxing and accepting that she'll get what she needs will work for the vast majority of mums.

You may well like this book if it fits with your parenting style, which would be Gina Ford, Annabel Karmel, and Toddler Taming followers.

I am a trained midwife, currently practising as a maternity nurse. I like to read to keep up to date with what the women I work with are reading. I would NEVER recommend this book. It is full of inaccurate sweeping statements and not even one single reference - the whole book is solely based on what she thinks! NEVER take a book seriously if it can't be backed up with references.

The book regularly had me shouting out loud at her inaccuracies (eg re getting baby to take a bottle 'You can use the same bottle of milk for up to one-and-a-half hours, reheating it as often as is necessary to keep it at an attractive temperature for him.' - JUST NOT TRUE AND ACTUALLY POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS) and therefore had me extremely worried about ALL the advice she was giving. Some of it is so inaccurate and misleading.

Never once in this book does she suggest holding your baby or playing with your baby. It's all feed, wind, sleep. What about relationship and nurturing? I think she's missed an important point about breast feeding and the early days relationship.

Breast feeding doesn't require a text book. It requires patience, common sense, a good sense of humour and a relaxed approach. If you're really struggling see a local breast feeding counsellor (BUT even then be wary, and follow your gut and your heart, and your baby!).

The book desperately needs updating, but preferably, in my opinion needs removing from the market. DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK!

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5.0 out of 5 stars The most fantastic and informative read.
The only problem I have with this book is how long it took me to purchase it... I wish I bought it sooner It's such a practical book and totally realistic to actual situations, it... Read more

Published 2 months ago by Martdecay

5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely brilliant
Clare does have very firm and direct manner but for a lot of first time mothers that is exactly what they need, anti-natal classes are severally lacking in this department when... Read more

Published 4 months ago by Alex

5.0 out of 5 stars Good practical advice
I found that this is a really useful, practical book that gives you a lot of straight forward advice that health visitors et al don't due to the fashion for 'demand led'/'baby... Read more

Published 6 months ago by Tara McCormack

5.0 out of 5 stars brilliant!!
this book is brilliant,tells you everything you need to know and more! i learnt and succeeded in breast feeding because of this book,in my first pregnancy i didnt have a clue and... Read more

Published 6 months ago by kim

5.0 out of 5 stars Honest and down to earth
As a Maternity Nurse working in the homes of families I found this book to be excellent. It gives the information that is so often lacking at ante-natal classes. Read more

Published 12 months ago by joy maternity nurse

1.0 out of 5 stars Utter rubbish
Clare 'Buy-Me-Book' seems to have gained the title 'Breastfeeding Guru' from somewhere. It's certainly NOT from her expertise when it comes to breastfeeding. Read more

Published 12 months ago by fawny

1.0 out of 5 stars Terrible
Very outdated advice. The best thing you can do if you want to succeed with breastfeeding is buy a better book.

Published 13 months ago by Bluebelle

5.0 out of 5 stars Breastfeeding
I found out about this book through Gina Ford CLB books. I only managed 6 weeks withmy daughter it this time with my son I'm up to 8 weeks already. Read more

Published 14 months ago by J MK

3.0 out of 5 stars A lot of good advice but disliked the tone
I read this book while pregnant and wished I hadn't as it left me quite anxious about the whole process. Read more

Published 18 months ago by jkalli

1.0 out of 5 stars don't expect much from this book
Reading this left me feeling very dis-heartened. It is full of unhelpful advice and incorrect information. Read more

Published 18 months ago by Eleanor

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