1. Introduction to the weedy traits of the English language; 2. Lexical weeds: the world of jargon, slang and euphemism; 3. More lexical weeds: word origins and meaning shifts; 4. Our grammatical weeds; 5. Weeds in our sounds and spelling; 6. The truly nasty weeds of the English language?; 7. W(h)ither our weeds?