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Product details

  • Paperback: 1 pages
  • Publisher: Crossway Books (30 Jan 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1581349300
  • ISBN-13: 978-1581349306
  • Product Dimensions: 15.2 x 1.2 x 22.9 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 294,834 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

Title: What He Must Be( If He Wants to Marry My Daughter) <>Binding: Paperback <>Author: Voddie,Jr.Baucham <>Publisher: CrosswayBooks

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Ryan Scott on 26 July 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Great preparation for different groups; parents raising either boys or girls, or men seeking a partner and wondering what aspects of his character he might need to reform.
Awesome book, much needed, buy it, recommend it to friends, obey the biblical principles principles in it!
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Amazon.com: 91 reviews
68 of 71 people found the following review helpful
A Book for Every Father 22 Feb 2009
By A. Konvalin - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is a book every father, or father to be, needs to read. You do not have to have a daughter to read this book as it speaks to the issue of marriage and how as parents we need to be integral in the process of finding a spouse for our children. This is not by arranging marriages but making sure we do more than simply stand by and give empty approval. We need to raise sons worthy of marriage to our daughters and to raise daughters that know what God calls for in a spouse.

As with most reviews there is only so much one can cover and I cannot encourage you to read this book enough. There may be things that are counter cultural, such as seeing dating as detrimental to marriage, but that is not because the conclusion stated are wrong but because we are so influenced by current practices that anything foreign to them seem wrong. Many times choices need to speak out and Voddie is one of those voices.

We are called not simply to bring forth daughters and sons into the world but to be used by God to mold them and then send them off in an appropriate manner. All too often in an effort to not appear to be "old fashioned" or out of touch with the present we send our daughters off to fend for themselves instead of being the father God calls us to be. Voddie sets forth not only sound advice but sound advice grounded in scripture. Scripture needs to be sought after not only for salvation but it is also sufficient for leading us in raising sons worthy of marring our daughters and daughters worthy to marry our sons.

I asked my sons the other day if they were the type of men that would be worthy husbands for their sister. Once the initial sounds of laughter ceased they got the point and that is we are not simply to be vigilant in raising daughters to marry in the Lord and in helping to find them worthy husbands. We are to also raise sons worthy of marrying when the time arises.

Again reading Voddie's new book is for any father whether you have daughters sons or both. Read this book with a heart to see what God says about marriage and preparing our children for marriage. There may be, depending where you presently stand with regards to dating and courtship and the like, things that are uncomfortable but I would pray you would take from this book that the future of our sons and daughters are to be important to us and that often times this may mean difficult decisions need to be made for their good. If we rely on God and His principles instead of the world's manner of things our families will be healthy and more God glorifying and they will then produce healthy and God glorifying families.
41 of 43 people found the following review helpful
More than. . . 10 Mar 2009
By Shonya Klein - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is more than you think. It is more than a 'check list' of what a man must be. It is more than a 'how to find a suitable husband' for yourself or your daughter.

This book inspires me to be a better parent, to be more diligent in training both my sons and my daughters, and will inspire men to be better men, better husbands, better fathers. And that is not what I anticipated.

Baucham does not leave us with an unattainable and unclear list which frustrates us and makes us feel there is no hope. He delves, quite more than I expected, into the Word, history, theology, and examples from christian heroes of the past in order to thoroughly explain what a man must be and WHY. A list would be easier to read. A list would be easier to post as a legalistic, graceless disqualifier of the young men you know. But Baucham's purpose clearly is not the above; this book challenges the reader to raise standards to God's standards rather than settling for the cultural norm and inspires the reader to teach and disciple young men to meet those standards.

This book is not as 'easy to read' as the author's previous book, Family Driven Faith, but it is well worth the extra effort. It is well-written, the author is certainly a wordsmith, but the reader's mind will need to be fully engaged in order to grasp the depth of the message being presented. The message of the book is more than what a man must be if he wants to marry my daughter, as the title implies.

I highly recommend this book. You will receive pleasantly more than you expected.
39 of 42 people found the following review helpful
This Book has a Wide Audience 4 Mar 2009
By Berean Wife - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
First of all when I first saw the title my initial thought was this was a book about courtship and what to look for in a spouse for your daughter. However, after reading this book there is a much wider audience.

~ What to look for in a spouse for your daughter.

~ Helping your daughter determine what to look for.

~ How to raise your sons to be prepared to lead their families.

~ Direction and guidance for husbands and fathers in leading their families.

Many of this will be new information to those who have even grown up in the typical church. I grew up in Southern Baptist Churches all my life. All I remember hearing that fathers should be doing is to have their children in church - Sunday School, VBS, missions, etc.
19 of 21 people found the following review helpful
A must read for every Christian father! 14 Mar 2009
By Shaun Tabatt - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Ask Voddie Baucham how to best prepare for leadership and ministry and he may tell you to get married and have children. You may be wondering what that has to do with helping your daughter choose a suitor. The answer is that it has everything to do with helping your daughter choose a suitor. This book is directed at Christian parents, especially fathers. As followers of Christ it is the father's duty to lead and minister in his own home first. If you aren't sure what this looks like, you may want to consider for yourself the qualities Voddie suggests we should be looking for in our daughter's future husband and instilling in our sons who will most likely be husbands themselves some day.

The first part of the book lays the groundwork for the vision and thought behind these counter-cultural ideas. Chapter one expresses the need for fathers to have a Christ-centered multigenerational vision that extends to the children, grandchildren and beyond. Chapter two describes marriage as a ministry, explaining how marriage is a fertile training ground for future church leaders as the Christian marriage illustrates the relationship of Christ and the church to a lost and hurting world. Chapter three explains a father's role as he exercises gospel patriarchy.

Chapters four through eight lay out the qualities we should be looking for in our daughter's potential suitors and instilling in our own sons. They are as follows:

* He must be a follower of Christ (chapter 4)
* He must be prepared to lead (chapter 5)
* He must lead like Christ (chapter 6)
* He must be committed to children (chapter 7)
* He must be a protector (chapter 8)
o He must be a man of personal holiness
o He must be a man of true gentleness
o He must be a man of great resolve
o He must be a man of genuine compassion
o He must be a man of true bravery
* He must be a provider (chapter 8)
o He must have a job
o He must have a work ethic
o He must have a plan
* He must be a prophet / priest (chapter 8)
o A man must pray with and for his family
o A man must preach to his family

Chapter nine discusses the importance of protecting our daughter's purity, heart, focus, future spouse, and hope. Chapter ten talks about the importance of raising our own sons to be Godly men and describes how our influence as fathers will influence our daughter's choice of potential suitors. The conclusion offers some thoughts on the issue of ethnicity in relation to marriage and children.

If you're a father, I strongly encourage you to pick up a copy of What He Must Be ...if he wants to marry my daughter. At the very least, I hope it will show you that you don't have to accept the cultural norms when it comes to preparing your daughters and sons for marriage. God has called us to something much larger and we should seize it and move forward with all our might.

Voddie Baucham Jr. is a pastor, conference speaker, and Bible teacher. He is a graduate of Southwestern and Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminaries and has also studied at the University of Oxford. Baucham is the author of The Ever-Loving Truth, the Telly Award-winning Ever-Loving Truth Bible study curriculum, and Family Driven Faith. He and his wife, Bridget have five children. Learn more about Voddie Baucham Jr. and his ministry at [familydrivenfaith.org] and [voddiebaucham.org].
13 of 14 people found the following review helpful
A must read for any dad 3 Jun 2010
By Joshua Reich - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Last week I read Voddie Baucham's book What He must be...if he Wants to Marry my Daughter. I read it for a few reasons. One, it went with my last sermon in our series on the book of Nehemiah. Two, it was one of the books I wanted to read for our series in July The Perfect Kid. Three, the idea of Ava getting married one day scares me to death. I think I'm scared for a few reasons: I remember what I was like in high school and college and I don't want that guy anywhere near my daughter, and I have never seen parents actual do this well.

What Voddie points out and I have to agree from experience. Parents are more involved with their daughter's choice of college than they are in her choice of a husband. Which one is more important? The answer is obvious, but we let daughters go it alone.

After reading the book, I am actually excited about the role and responsibility that God has given me as a father in raising sons worth marrying and helping Ava navigate the arena of choosing a husband. I love the one chapter title, "Don't send a woman to do a man's job." His point is that we allow and expect our daughters to do what God has called fathers to do.

Voddie walks through how to help your daughter find a man worth marrying. Just because "he is a anatomical man, and a Christian does not make him worth marrying." Wow. He also walks through how to raise sons worth marrying.

The application of this book is huge. For parents, what plan do you have to help your daughter know what to do, how to choose a husband, what criteria will uphold, what things will you highlight as things worth going after and what qualities will you show as not worth it. How will you raise your sons? Ironically, this was a huge part of the book because the church and our culture have no idea how to raise boys to become men. We do everything in our power to make men into women and then wonder why there are no men. Not chauvinistic, power hungry pigs, but men. Not boys who live at home, play video games and aren't sure if they want to get married before turning 30, but men.

This also would be helpful for single men to read to see what they should be striving for as a Godly man and for single women to get an idea of what you should be looking for in a Godly man. The criteria needs to be more than breathing and a Christian. Otherwise, "you get what you pay for" as the saying goes.

Before reading this book, my plan was to talk with Ava and pray. After reading this book, I see how important my role is and how active I am supposed to be in training and teaching her about what she should look for and helping her see blind spots. Think about it. Most men ask a girl's father for a girl's hand in marriage. But how many father's actually know enough about the man to say yes or no? I will know enough to say yes or no.

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