Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
A positive story of abuse, 21 Nov 2009
This review is from: Visiting Grandma (Paperback)
Danny Bowman is thirteen years old, a small boy with delicate good looks; he lives with his mother and a series of often abusive 'stepfathers'. His grandmother, who has always protected him from his frequently drunken mother, is now deteriorating with Alzheimer's and living in a home.
Dan's latest boyfriend, Mark, is different from the previous men. He is movie-star handsome, well dressed and has money. Mark's appearance on the scene coincides with Dan's realisation that he himself is gay, which makes Mark's sexual approaches towards him all the more confusing. Not before long Mark is regularly sexually abusing him, and on the occasions Dan doesn't obey him, he is violent towards him.
Dan can see no way out of the situation, blaming himself in part for what is happing. His one time source of solace, his grandmother, it seems is no longer able to help. The situation steadily worsens, both at home and as it affects him at school, and leads him even to thoughts of suicide.
Yet there is hope, and there are those willing to help, but Dan has to make the first move. Only when he can find the courage and faith to make that move will the situation improve.
Visiting Grandma is a sad and moving story, but with a positive outcome. It is a short read, and well written by someone how is clearly aware of the problem. When someone says to Dan "Look, I know how you feel, right now . . . That's a stupid thing to say. Of course I don't know how you feel right now . . .", it gives confidence that the writer really does know about the problem; it must give hope to anyone who faces a similar situation to Danny.
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5.0 out of 5 stars
Visiting Grandma, 1 Jun 2003
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Visiting Grandma (Paperback)
I was drawn into "Visiting Grandma" by the end of the first paragraph and could not put it down until I was done reading it. Reading this book made me feel less like a freak; like I was not the only one with a messed up life. It made me feel better to read that the abuse wasn't the kid's fault and gave me a little bit of hope that things can get better. I'm really glad that I read this book.
5.0 out of 5 stars
One of the saddest books I ever read, 8 Jan 2012
By JeSuisse - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Visiting Grandma (Paperback)
This must be one of the saddest books I ever read. I hope that in reality there are few children who suffer what the protagonist in this novel went through, but the author seems to be a social worker who worked with traumatized patients, so, sadly, she might know what she wrote about. What I loved about the novel: The narrator's voice, the perfect pacing, the sense of courage and hope it managed to convey even in the face of greatest despair, and the characterization of the narrator and his friend Josh. The story is so strong and you feel so much for the protagonist that the flaws take the backseat (warning, some minor spoilers ahead): Danny seems to me like a textbook victim. The author really heaped it on him: Kid who has a long history of terrible physical abuse by moms boyfriends, is gay and outed at his school against his will when only thirteen (how many kids already know for sure at that age?), is bullied, goes to a junior high where the principal uses corporal punishment (I had the impression that the novel is set in the present, but this gave me pause), which is dealt out to him regularly. That's just for starters. Danny's teachers are completely incompetent (yeah, send the kid to be paddled by the principal for asking questions about rape that should have a red alert going off in your head, and don't ever notice he keeps coming to school with tell-tale signs of beatings) His mother is a no-good alcaholic who neglects and hits him. School, police and social services are blind right up to the last chapter of the book. I mean, how can it be worse? This is how: Along comes the guy who not only hits him but also makes him have sex. Mark is one of the most evil characters I've ever read about. Is this really how it works? Do pedophiles tell their victims they love them while they beat them half to death, only to rape them right afterwards, and then make their victims believe that it's all their fault and they will be even worse off if they tell? This is why I'm having trouble accepting this as a portrayal of real abuse: Every kind of abuse I can imagine is right here, concentrated on a single boy. I don't doubt this all happens to children. But all of it to the same single individual? If this is what abuse is usually like for children, our society has failed completely. What I find fascinating is how the author can heap all this abuse on a first-person narrator and still make him tell the story in a way that doesn't give the impression like he's complaining or whining about his life. Rather, he comes over as selfless and brave. Again, that's really good writing. I'm also glad that the author chose to have the book end on a positive note: The story would have been unbearable if that wasn't there. All in all: If you are interested in a book that makes you understand the real dynamics of sexual abuse, I think there are other books that do a better job. But as a portrayal of the despair of a victim of physical/sexual abuse, and as a light in the dark for those who suffer, I think this book does an outstanding job.
5.0 out of 5 stars
A positive story of abuse, 21 Nov 2009
By Benjamin - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Visiting Grandma (Paperback)
Danny Bowman is thirteen years old, a small boy with delicate good looks; he lives with his mother and a series of often abusive 'stepfathers'. His grandmother, who has always protected him from his frequently drunken mother, is now deteriorating with Alzheimer's and living in a home.
Dan's latest boyfriend, Mark, is different from the previous men. He is movie-star handsome, well dressed and has money. Mark's appearance on the scene coincides with Dan's realisation that he himself is gay, which makes Mark's sexual approaches towards him all the more confusing. Not before long Mark is regularly sexually abusing him, and on the occasions Dan doesn't obey him, he is violent towards him.
Dan can see no way out of the situation, blaming himself in part for what is happing. His one time source of solace, his grandmother, it seems is no longer able to help. The situation steadily worsens, both at home and as it affects him at school, and leads him even to thoughts of suicide.
Yet there is hope, and there are those willing to help, but Dan has to make the first move. Only when he can find the courage and faith to make that move will the situation improve.
Visiting Grandma is a sad and moving story, but with a positive outcome. It is a short read, and well written by someone how is clearly aware of the problem. When someone says to Dan "Look, I know how you feel, right now . . . That's a stupid thing to say. Of course I don't know how you feel right now . . .", it gives confidence that the writer really does know about the problem; it must give hope to anyone who faces a similar situation to Danny.
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