It's not everyday that we get an original horror movie with an intelligent plot, likeable characters, a traffic-stopping cast and chills beyond our imagination. But do you think "Urban Legends: Final Cut" is one of them? Oh, no. The film, being a sequel to the first film, is the latest in a long, long, long, long line of sequels which do no justice to the predecessor, and not only that, but it copies directly off of "Scream 2" and "3," just like "Urban Legend" had the look and feel of a "Scream" wannabe. Do the producers of these movies sit around in a room and actually think this stuff is going to appeal to anyone with the least bit of intelligence and common sense? Do they think that our lives are so jaded by originality that they must inject us with banal characters, a washed up storyline, and a mess of total stupidity? Hollywood hates us!
The movie is such a piece of undeniable trash that its story is just a pain to even look back on. We are introduced to select students of Alpine University, which is a renowned film school where, every year, one person receives the Hitchcock Award for the best thesis film. This sparks the attention of dithy documentarian Amy Mayfield, who jumps into the project after hearing a story from Reese, the new campus security guard and the sole returning character from the first film.
She writes her script, which, wouldn't you know it, is about tall tales known as urban legends, and begins gathering up her cast and crew. She has some competition, though: Toby is filming a horror thriller that takes place on an airplane (shades of "Final Destination," maybe?), and his cast and crew are much more dilligent. Others include Travis, whose film "The Gods of Men" is in the finishing stages, and Graham, whose the son of a Hollywood mogul.
And this is where our killings take place, leaving us with dead bodies, useless plot twists, and a plot that borrows all it can from just about every horror franchise it can get its hands on. The movie even goes so far as to insult its own name, because its killings, with the exception of one, are not even considered urban legends in reality. Perhaps the writers just ran out of creativity, or the legends that were left weren't bloody and stupid enough for the demographic group this film aims itself at.
And if there ever was a movie that copycats, this is it. The whole actors-involved-in-a-film-getting-killed-according-to-the-script thing has been done already, much better in "Scream 3," but "UL:FC" doesn't seem to care. It treats the material as if its new and fresh, which leaves us with a wasted six dollars for a movie that we could've rented already. And the ending is so blatantly reminiscent of the on-stage showdown in "Scream 2," which places our killer and prey on the set of some movie where they have access to all sorts of materials where they can prolong the inevitable ending in which the real killer will meet his demise. And don't even start criticizing me about giving away the ending: the plot's sky-high predictability factor will not only give away the identity of the killer, but will leave you with no surprises.
The actors are your typical ensemble of pseudo-teenage college kids who have nothing better to do than run around and corner themselves into fatal situations than to actually use their heads. Jennifer Morrison plays Amy, who never comes off as being more than the average run-of-the-mill clueless college groupie, as does the rest of the cast composed mostly of unknowns who probably think that this movie will lead them to new heights of fame (what a mislead). It's easy to see why Joey Lawrence, of TV's "Blossom," billed himself as "Joseph." Be sure to look out for Rebecca Gayheart in a surprise cameo that is the cheese atop the cracker.
There's something to be said about movies like this, movies that have absolutely no creativity and revel in that fact, but my mother taught me never to use words of that nature. In short, "Urban Legends: Final Cut" is yet another example of Hollywood wasting our money by giving us nothing new and thinking we'll be satisfied. If you must be scared, then be scared of the fact that, like it or not, this is the future of horror movies, and we're stuck with it.