- Hardcover: 250 pages
- Publisher: Oxford University Press Inc (1 Sep 1986)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 0195039106
- ISBN-13: 978-0195039108
- Product Dimensions: 23.6 x 16 x 2.5 cm
- Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,641,114 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description
Synopsis
Delineates the underlying pattern beneath every disintegrating relationship and sheds light on a number of key issues, such as why some people never psychologically separate, why counseling often fails, and why one person can sometimes take the end of a relationship calmly.
Inside This Book
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First Sentence
WE ALL are secret-keepers in our intimate relationships. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
WE ALL are secret-keepers in our intimate relationships. Read the first page
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Concordance
Browse Sample PagesConcordance
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This book is an extremely good, very solid and intelligent description of the dynamics and processes involved in the gradual disintegration of a romantic relationship. I am a marriage therapist and find this book to be refreshingly intellegent, atheoretical, nonmoralistic and unbiased analysis of what takes place when estrangement creeps into and overtakes a once- viable connection between lovers. It is a solid, unprejudiced depiction of the process from both partners' points of views, without being tritely subjective. It is very readable, but certainly not simple-minded in its content. Strongly recommended.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I bought this book at the same time as "The Relate Guide to Separation". I'd describe the Relate book as a typical self-help guide: useful, but trite in places but with some helpful exercises, if you can be bothered.
"Uncoupling" on the other hand is a powerful, well-written treatise on the patterns behind break-ups. It is more academic than the Relate book (with numerous end-notes and references to other works), but it's comforting to realise that the emotional reactions (for example, the way we re-write our relationship's history, with the benefit of hindsight) are common to many other break-ups. It helped me understand what I'm going through.
And on top of that, I finally understood the value of sociology! I'll never mock again.
"Uncoupling" on the other hand is a powerful, well-written treatise on the patterns behind break-ups. It is more academic than the Relate book (with numerous end-notes and references to other works), but it's comforting to realise that the emotional reactions (for example, the way we re-write our relationship's history, with the benefit of hindsight) are common to many other break-ups. It helped me understand what I'm going through.
And on top of that, I finally understood the value of sociology! I'll never mock again.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I'm very picky and critical of self-help books, but Vaughan's Uncoupling is the next best thing to a counsellor. More than a psych book, it is the definite beginning-middle-end about how couples become uncoupled.
I picked up this book by instinct, as I needed to read something--anything--about how relationships end. I don't care about the why's anymore; I just wanted to understand what was happenning in my own relationship.
This book will not tell you how to save your relationship, or whether it's worth saving or not. Vaughan argues that there is a pattern to how relationships end. And in the telling, she gives the story that makes sense of everything--and that is all we need when we go row into the choppy waters of a faltering relationship.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Unique
I first became aware of Ms. Vaughn's book during my academic work for my Ph.D. It was one of my best resources. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Ruth Rymer
Uncoupling begins with a secret
The author describes the various stages of the uncoupling process which she contends are the same regardless of whether the relationship is long, short, hetrosexual or... Read more
Published on 9 Oct 2008 by Newly Single
Uncoupling is an important and helpful concept
When people become part of a couple there is usually a lot of happiness between them and people around them may congratulate them in different ways; weddings are only the most... Read more
Published on 30 Oct 2003
A black and white look at the process of seperation
This book is only interesting to a certain extent. It is a very detailed examination of the processes that a couple, or one half of one, puts into play when they are looking to... Read more
Published on 24 Aug 2001
Brilliant, balanced and helpful!
A wonderful book..just purchased another three on-line to give away to friends (given three away already). Read more
Published on 12 Dec 1999 by stevenslava@hotmail.com
A must for anyone who's suffered a traumatic split
This book put the final pieces into a jigsaw I'd been grappling with for nearly 2 years subconsciously, over a year consciously after being suddenly left by my partner. Read more
Published on 20 Feb 1999
Good book for understanding some of the process
This book is more objective, anthropological, than the hands-on, cookbook approach of _Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay_. Read more
Published on 11 April 1998
A book that looks at both sides
Recommended by my cousin who went through a similar divorce as mine. It doesn't matter if he left you or you left him, this book will give you insight into your behavior and... Read more
Published on 1 April 1998
Free of psychological speculation. At look at "how" not why
This book, so much more useful than the whining and carping of most "exes," does not rely on supposed triangles, nor on genograms, nor on dubious concepts about the... Read more
Published on 2 May 1997
She shows how predictable it all is. So-o-o predictable.
As I sat on the beach in Hawaii, next to my transitional, reading this book, I discovered to my surprise that mine was not a unique experience. How comforting. How depressing. Read more
Published on 23 Feb 1997
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