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Product Description
Synopsis
This book presents a provocative challenge to the conventional wisdom of raising children. Author of nine books, including the controversial "Punished by Rewards", Kohn expands upon the theme of what's wrong with our society's emphasis on punishments and rewards with regards raising children. Kohn, the father of young children himself, sprinkles his text with anecdotes that shore up his well-researched hypothesis that children do best with unconditional love, respect and the opportunity to make their own choices. Kohn questions why parents and parenting literature focus on compliance and quick fixes, and points out that docility and short-term obedience are not what most parents desire of their children in the long run. He insists that "controlling parents" are actually conveying to their kids that they love them conditionally - that is, only when they achieve or behave. Tactics like time-out, brides and threats, Kohn claims, just worsen matters. Caustic, witty and thought-provoking, Kohn's arguments challenge much of today's parenting wisdom, yet his assertion that "the way kids learn to make good decisions is by making decisions, not by following directions" rings true.Kohn suggests parents help kids solve problems; provide them with choices; and use reason, humour and, as a last resort, a restorative time away (not a punitive time-out).
Inside This Book
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First Sentence
I have sometimes derived comfort from the idea that, despite all the mistakes I've made (and will continue to make) as a parent, my children will turn out just fine for the simple reason that I really love them. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
I have sometimes derived comfort from the idea that, despite all the mistakes I've made (and will continue to make) as a parent, my children will turn out just fine for the simple reason that I really love them. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
59 of 62 people found the following review helpful
By bumbledeb
Format:Paperback
Alfie Kohn uses real research to back up his conclusions. The book is very readable and easy to understand but the ideas it contains could very well change your life and your children's lives. Very highly recommended by someone who has read a LOT of parenting books and has never before felt compelled to recommend one.
58 of 61 people found the following review helpful
By M Tsun
Format:Paperback
Like most parents, I have tried star-charts, time-outs, naughty chair, sticker books, you name it. But at the back of my mind there had always been a niggling feeling that these traditional 'methods' were not the right way forward. Unconditional Parenting gave me the power to question those traditional beliefs and the tools to work with my child, to treat him with the respect and unconditional love that every child deserves. So often we enter into parenthood weighted down by our past - how we were treated by our parents. I'm so glad to be able to break that cycle. Read this book and stop treating your children as enemies who must be tamed and controlled.
48 of 51 people found the following review helpful
By Richie C
Format:Paperback
I have found this book fascinating and its really changed the way I parent. The 'using any method to get children to behave' principle is ingrained in our culture but the author argues very convincingly that this is very shortsighted.
Has really helped me view what I am doing with my children in another light and changed what I do
Has really helped me view what I am doing with my children in another light and changed what I do
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
not at all the case for permissiveness I was afraid of
At first, I was half expecting a case for permissiveness (more about it in a moment), but I was mistaken. Read more
Published 8 days ago by M. Hustaix
5.0 out of 5 stars
Very interesting
Good quality book with a very interesting concept of how to go about parenting. I found it an engaging read and took away many points that I am attempting to include in my everyday... Read more
Published 4 months ago by R. L. Walkden
4.0 out of 5 stars
Half way through.
This book describes a very different way of raising children to the one most of us are familiar with. Read more
Published 5 months ago by jess
5.0 out of 5 stars
time out for time outs
I thought i was trying and failing to be a good parent taking on board what books said about consequences and how to manage your child. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Mr. James M. Barton
5.0 out of 5 stars
Amazing
This book is one of the best I've read. It is so informative and really made me question my personal upbringing. Read more
Published 11 months ago by Lct
5.0 out of 5 stars
A shining light swimming upstream
Like another reviewer i'm on my second reading of this brave and revolutionary book. It's by far the best book on parenting I have ever read and it's really quite a poke in the eye... Read more
Published 14 months ago by Jeremy
1.0 out of 5 stars
Unbelievably deceitful
As a person (and particularly a parent) who avoids all sorts of confrontation, I had high hopes for this book. Read more
Published 16 months ago by asra
4.0 out of 5 stars
Making sense, not fascists
Many modern rearing advise on children still adopts the disproven school of thought that children can be formed by adults, and, even more than that, that children for some reason... Read more
Published 18 months ago by Tobin
5.0 out of 5 stars
Thought-provoking book about parenting
This is an extremely thought-provoking book. It offers a different way of parenting for those people who are not sure about time out etc, but perhaps can't quite put their finger... Read more
Published 23 months ago by mmisl
2.0 out of 5 stars
Hmmm, I'm just not convinced
I think Kohn tried to write a book for professional perhaps, this book is not written towards a parent even though he tried. I found this book at times patronising. Read more
Published on 13 Jan 2011 by Ms. L. K. Arnold
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