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This book presents a provocative challenge to the conventional wisdom of raising children. Author of nine books, including the controversial "Punished by Rewards", Kohn expands upon the theme of what's wrong with our society's emphasis on punishments and rewards with regards raising children. Kohn, the father of young children himself, sprinkles his text with anecdotes that shore up his well-researched hypothesis that children do best with unconditional love, respect and the opportunity to make their own choices. Kohn questions why parents and parenting literature focus on compliance and quick fixes, and points out that docility and short-term obedience are not what most parents desire of their children in the long run. He insists that "controlling parents" are actually conveying to their kids that they love them conditionally - that is, only when they achieve or behave. Tactics like time-out, brides and threats, Kohn claims, just worsen matters. Caustic, witty and thought-provoking, Kohn's arguments challenge much of today's parenting wisdom, yet his assertion that "the way kids learn to make good decisions is by making decisions, not by following directions" rings true.Kohn suggests parents help kids solve problems; provide them with choices; and use reason, humour and, as a last resort, a restorative time away (not a punitive time-out).
A powerful book. Reading it again. Not only does it get you thinking differently about your relationship with your kids, it also gets you thinking about your relationship with your... Read morePublished 10 days ago by Me
A great book that challenges you to take a brave look at parenting. It gives a lot of pointers on what it really means, in practice, to take our children seriously. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Annemieke
I have not started to read this book but for what I have glanced through it looks like an interesting and thought provoking read.Published 3 months ago by sleepyMo
My husband and I spent two weeks on reading it. We did it slowly and patiently as it is an awarding winning book. Unfortunately, we really didn't find it very helpful. Read morePublished 3 months ago by LILY
I loved the central ideas in this book and it did give me a lot of pause for thought but I felt the book is very heavy on the what not to do and very light on the what to do... Read morePublished 4 months ago by AC
This book is life changing. At first I simply didn't agree with the statements, and I couldn't let go of the idea of time out and positive reinforcements being 'bad' for children. Read morePublished 12 months ago by V. Brummer