Turkey Season (Part Four): Some Of The Worst Rom-Coms

A Listmania! list by Cynical and Critical (Back Row Of The Movies Somewhere)
 
Bridget Jones's Diary [DVD]
1.  Bridget Jones's Diary [DVD] 
The list author says:
  "Fat bird with big knickers can’t find a guy to get her jollies from. Obviously because she’s a snob, she doesn’t frequent 99% of England’s pubs and clubs at the weekend."
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10 Things I Hate About You [DVD] [1999]
2.  10 Things I Hate About You [DVD] [1999] DVD ~ Heath Ledger
The list author says:
  "This movie is sooo stupid. Here you have a girl so wrapped up in herself, she doesn’t want to date a guy she likes (and vice versa) because she has principles!  Cheesy and corny beyond belief."
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Never Been Kissed [1999] [DVD]
3.  Never Been Kissed [1999] [DVD] DVD ~ Drew Barrymore
The list author says:
  "Again, poor Jesus wept!  The moment Drew Barrymore tried to pass herself off as a high school student was the moment NBK lost all credibility. So she’s never been kissed. She needs to get out more."
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Four Weddings And A Funeral [1994] [DVD]
4.  Four Weddings And A Funeral [1994] [DVD] DVD ~ Hugh Grant
The list author says:
  "Worth slating purely for featuring Hugh Grunt doing his usual “bumbling English snob” routine AND that freakin’ song (Love Is All Around)  - one that women love and guys hate."
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Pretty Woman (Reissue) [DVD] [1990]
5.  Pretty Woman (Reissue) [DVD] [1990] DVD ~ Richard Gere
The list author says:
  "Let me get this straight: Roberts is a prostitute, and Gere pays for her ‘services’.  And that’s supposed to be romantic?!  Bathe her in disinfectant and chuck her back onto the streets, I say."
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When Harry Met Sally [DVD] [1989]
6.  When Harry Met Sally [DVD] [1989] DVD ~ Billy Crystal
The list author says:
  "Right, here’s a question for you: apart from the (fake) orgasm scene, what other memorable moments do you remember from WHMS?  None.  There wasn’t any. Fake memories, fake movie, end of."
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Love Actually [DVD] [2003]
7.  Love Actually [DVD] [2003] DVD ~ Rowan Atkinson
The list author says:
  "It features Hugh Grunt.  It’s written by the same team responsible for ‘Sour Weddings’ and ‘Notting Hell’.  Combining all those factors, were you really expecting something different? You fools."
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You've Got Mail [DVD] [1998]
8.  You've Got Mail [DVD] [1998] DVD ~ Tom Hanks
The list author says:
  "The popularity of the internet is at fault for this turkey.  Why couldn’t someone just have sent Tom Hanks a plethora of spam emails instead that would’ve save us from this tripe?"
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Something's Gotta Give [DVD] [2003]
9.  Something's Gotta Give [DVD] [2003] DVD ~ Jack Nicholson
The list author says:
  "There’s something quite unnerving watching Jack Nicholson lust after younger women in this movie.  Maybe this is art imitating life?  I lost the will to live half way through this turkey."
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Bridget Jones 2: The Edge of Reason [DVD] [2004]
10.  Bridget Jones 2: The Edge of Reason [DVD] [2004] DVD ~ Renée Zellweger
The list author says:
  "Big girl with big knickers now has a guy. But he’s doing the biz with someone else behind her back. Now she’s confused. Lo and behold, Hugh Grunt shows up. As predictable as the come."
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Only You [DVD] [1999]
11.  Only You [DVD] [1999] DVD ~ Marisa Tomei
The list author says:
  "Marisa Tomei shocked the world by bagging an Oscar for ‘My Cousin Vinny’.  She shocks the world again in this movie by convincing the viewer she can really act."
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Runaway Bride [DVD] [1999]
12.  Runaway Bride [DVD] [1999] DVD ~ Julia Roberts
The list author says:
  "Note to studio execs: just because you had a hit movie on your hands years earlier, don’t rehire the same actor and actress (and production crew) and think you have a sure fire hit without trying."
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Mickey Blue Eyes [DVD] [1999]
13.  Mickey Blue Eyes [DVD] [1999] DVD ~ Hugh Grant
The list author says:
  "Grunt must be the most one-dimensional actor ever. Every movie he appears in is the same, and he always plays the same bumbling buffoon. Don’t believe it, folks and stay away from this trash."
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Nine Months [1995] [DVD]
14.  Nine Months [1995] [DVD] DVD ~ Hugh Grant
The list author says:
  "So what if I’m criticising Grunt one more time? It might have a different story, but it’s no more than the same old dross from this wooden actor. And to think, the Yanks believe we’re all like him."
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Amelie (Two Disc Special Edition) [DTS] [DVD]
15.  Amelie (Two Disc Special Edition) [DTS] [DVD] DVD ~ Amelie
The list author says:
  "Let women rave about this movie for being a sweet rom-com.  From a guy’s perspective, it was a certain *naughty* scene that made it memorable.  Other than that, it’s rubbish."
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As Good As It Gets [DVD] [1998]
16.  As Good As It Gets [DVD] [1998] DVD ~ Jack Nicholson
The list author says:
  "Jack Nicholson keeping up his frightfully unsettling habit of lusting after women young enough to be his daughter. Someone needs to alert the appropriate authorities about him."
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Sleepless in Seattle [DVD] [1994]
17.  Sleepless in Seattle [DVD] [1994] DVD ~ Tom Hanks
The list author says:
  "I came out of the cinema ‘high’ on a sugar rush after watching this movie because it’s so damn ‘sweet’. Thankfully, when I ‘came back down’, I realised just how rubbish SIS was."
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Muriel's Wedding [DVD] [1995]
18.  Muriel's Wedding [DVD] [1995] DVD ~ Toni Collette
The list author says:
  "Aussie version of Bridget Jones. At least the big girl with the big knickers had class. Muriel just has “minger” written all over her chubby face. Oh, and it features many ABBA songs too. ‘Nuff said"
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Notting Hill [DVD] [1999]
19.  Notting Hill [DVD] [1999] DVD ~ Hugh Grant
The list author says:
  "Once again, Grunt mumbles his way through 2 hours of schmaltz that seems to titillate the ladies. This proves once and for all, women deserve to be the weaker sex. I’m kidding."
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One Fine Day [1997] [DVD]
20.  One Fine Day [1997] [DVD] DVD ~ Michelle Pfeiffer
The list author says:
  "Michelle Pfeiffer seemed to recover from the turkey known as “Grease 2”.  This movie puts her back in her place.  Truly, truly dreadful."
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Intolerable Cruelty [DVD] [2003]
21.  Intolerable Cruelty [DVD] [2003] DVD ~ George Clooney
The list author says:
  "Unfortunately, this is the CORRECT title, and not something devised after the studio execs watched an advanced screening. Should’ve been though."
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The Wedding Singer [DVD] [1998]
22.  The Wedding Singer [DVD] [1998] DVD ~ Adam Sandler
The list author says:
  "Adam Sandler is a terrible singer.  The Wedding Singer is a terrible movie.  That’s quite an achievement considering Hugh Grunt was no where to be seen."
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The Break Up [DVD]
23.  The Break Up [DVD] DVD ~ Jennifer Aniston
The list author says:
  "The ‘significant other’ and I almost made our own version of this movie after we watched it.  She thought it was great….I didn’t.  What does she know, anyway?"
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Gregory's Girl [DVD] [1981]
24.  Gregory's Girl [DVD] [1981] DVD ~ John Gordon Sinclair
The list author says:
  "One amazon reviewer wrote: “this film will mean more to you if you grew up in Scotland in the 80s”.  I did, and it doesn’t. Just stereotypical “Scots” looking like idiots."
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This Year's Love [DVD] [1999]
25.  This Year's Love [DVD] [1999] DVD ~ Annabelle Apsion
The list author says:
  "Another Brit rom-com trying to emulate the success of ‘Four Wedding..”.  Like so many since, it failed.  That’s rich coming from someone who hated ‘Four Weddings..”, mind."
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Author
Cynical and Critical (Back Row Of The Movies Somewhere)
Qualifications: Ditch The Girfriend If She Wants To Watch These Rom-Coms
Last updated: 04/11/2006
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