This so-called "dog toy" is actually a blasphemous idol!!!
Everyone knows that the only true religion is the worship of Esmeralda and Keith, the GREEN lobsters holding our rhomboid-shaped universe in their noodly appendages. Or was it pincers? The revelation of St. Eugene The Dawkins was given to his creation by Binker the Fossilized Rabbit, and I'll refer you all to the Book of the Euthanized Invisible Pink Unicorn, Chapter 66, Verse 6 for more details on the this matter.
Don't turn your Great Dane, Dachshund, Chihuahua or Fronky into a rank blasphemer and idolater by buying them this abomination of desolation!!!
Or else Keith might pinch you in the pincer.
Unbelievable? Improbable? Sure. But true anyway. Trust me on this, Jack. I know whereof I'm talking. You see, I'm a scientist.