Truth Will Set You Free, The [Paperback]

Dr. Miller argues that childhood abuse is more prevalent and damaging than appreciated by most. Many victims cannot easily remember that they were abused. Others experienced personality twists that caused them to identify positively with the abuse and abusers as signs of love. The victims often victimize their own children in the same ways, and find their personal relationships inhibited by the obedience patterns imposed by parents and other authority figures. She goes on to argue that the damage is permanently recorded in the brain, and can encourage criminal behavior by leaders and individuals. Dr. Miller approaches the subject from a psychotherapist's viewpoint, but with little jargon. The book is designed for "readers who want to think about their lives and test new ideas . . . ."

The core of her argument is that children need the loving support and freedom to express who they feel comfortable being. When parents and other authority figures use physical punishment, humiliation, and other ways of securing compliance, the result is a person will a reduced to her or his own nature and reduced emotional intelligence. She goes on to connect these experiences to the murders by tyrants (Hitler, Stalin, and Milosevic) as well as the aggrandizing actions by other leaders (like Frederick the Great and Napoleon). She ties German willingness to follow orders in the Holocaust to German child-rearing practices.

In examining religious texts, religious practices, medical practices, educational institutions, and how professionals talk about their own parenting, she identifies physical abuse in childhood as a taboo subject in advanced societies.

Her prescription is that the effects of childhood abuse can be ameliorated by having helping witnesses (people who affirm the child as good and worthy of love while the abuse is going on) and enlightened witnesses, often mental health professional (people who help explore the childhood memories with interest and understanding).

Be prepared to have some of your most fundamental beliefs challenged. Dr. Miller takes on the traditional Old Testament view of God and the nature of sin, opposes male and female circumcision, decries many standard child toilet training and punishment practices, and favors the elimination of all corporal punishment of children (including hand slapping).

On the positive side, she describes the childhood experiences of Jesus and Gorbachev as models.

For professionals in all fields, she also encourages a caring look at childhood experiences of those with standard illnesses as well as those in prisons. I was particularly impressed by her argument that biographers should attempt to learn the details of any physical or emotional abuse that the subject may have experienced as a child.

This book evoked a lot of different reactions in me. First, as a matter of personal taste, I agree with using love and encouragement rather than physical punishment as a way to help children develop good habits. So she was preaching to the choir in having me as a reader. Second, at an emotional level, I found the book stirring up lots of vivid childhood memories that I had probably not thought about in 40 years. In thinking about those memories, I drew new meaning from them . . . both about how I had interpreted them as a child and what they meant about both adults and me. I felt freer as a result. That's an unusual reaction for me to have to a book. Third, at a logical level, I found the arguments over done. Everything seems to be viewed only from the perspective of child abuse. Surely, most kinds of unfortunate adult behavior also have some other causes.

I do admire and appreciate the consistency and energy she has applied to making people more aware of this issue. I certainly learned a lot, and am glad that I did.

After you read this book (and I hope you do), think about someone you have met who has physically or emotionally abusive reactions to problems. Consider how you might make that person aware of the ideas in this book in a caring way. This action could be the beginning of helping them overcome the effects of what might have been caused in part by childhood abuse.

Smile, approach with kindness, and give a hug!

Dr. Miller argues that childhood abuse is more prevalent and damaging than appreciated by most. Many victims cannot easily remember that they were abused. Others experienced personality twists that caused them to identify positively with the abuse and abusers as signs of love. The victims often victimize their own children in the same ways, and find their personal relationships inhibited by the obedience patterns imposed by parents and other authority figures. She goes on to argue that the damage is permanently recorded in the brain, and can encourage criminal behavior by leaders and individuals. Dr. Miller approaches the subject from a psychotherapist's viewpoint, but with little jargon. The book is designed for "readers who want to think about their lives and test new ideas . . . ."

The core of her argument is that children need the loving support and freedom to express who they feel comfortable being. When parents and other authority figures use physical punishment, humiliation, and other ways of securing compliance, the result is a person will a reduced to her or his own nature and reduced emotional intelligence. She goes on to connect these experiences to the murders by tyrants (Hitler, Stalin, and Milosevic) as well as the aggrandizing actions by other leaders (like Frederick the Great and Napoleon). She ties German willingness to follow orders in the Holocaust to German child-rearing practices.

In examining religious texts, religious practices, medical practices, educational institutions, and how professionals talk about their own parenting, she identifies physical abuse in childhood as a taboo subject in advanced societies.

Her prescription is that the effects of childhood abuse can be ameliorated by having helping witnesses (people who affirm the child as good and worthy of love while the abuse is going on) and enlightened witnesses, often mental health professional (people who help explore the childhood memories with interest and understanding).

Be prepared to have some of your most fundamental beliefs challenged. Dr. Miller takes on the traditional Old Testament view of God and the nature of sin, opposes male and female circumcision, decries many standard child toilet training and punishment practices, and favors the elimination of all corporal punishment of children (including hand slapping).

On the positive side, she describes the childhood experiences of Jesus and Gorbachev as models.

For professionals in all fields, she also encourages a caring look at childhood experiences of those with standard illnesses as well as those in prisons. I was particularly impressed by her argument that biographers should attempt to learn the details of any physical or emotional abuse that the subject may have experienced as a child.

This book evoked a lot of different reactions in me. First, as a matter of personal taste, I agree with using love and encouragement rather than physical punishment as a way to help children develop good habits. So she was preaching to the choir in having me as a reader. Second, at an emotional level, I found the book stirring up lots of vivid childhood memories that I had probably not thought about in 40 years. In thinking about those memories, I drew new meaning from them . . . both about how I had interpreted them as a child and what they meant about both adults and me. I felt freer as a result. That's an unusual reaction for me to have to a book. Third, at a logical level, I found the arguments over done. Everything seems to be viewed only from the perspective of child abuse. Surely, most kinds of unfortunate adult behavior also have some other causes.

I do admire and appreciate the consistency and energy she has applied to making people more aware of this issue. I certainly learned a lot, and am glad that I did.

After you read this book (and I hope you do), think about someone you have met who has physically or emotionally abusive reactions to problems. Consider how you might make that person aware of the ideas in this book in a caring way. This action could be the beginning of helping them overcome the effects of what might have been caused in part by childhood abuse.

Smile, approach with kindness, and give a hug!