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Truth About Children and Divorce: Dealing with the Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive Paperback – 28 Feb 2006


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The telephone call was typical of many that I receive as a marriage therapist and mediator. Read the first page
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Amazon.com: 34 reviews
46 of 48 people found the following review helpful
A Must Read for Divorced Parents 2 Oct 2004
By Gunnar J. Gitlin - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover
As a divorce (aka) matrimonial lawyer, I review books involving the effects of divorce on children because it is important to my practice and clients. This is perhaps one of the best books on the subject. Many books on divorce are pessimistic in terms of their overall approach and focus. Dr. Emery is one of the few individuals who basis his writings, etc., on controlled studies as to the effect of divorce upon children (instead of the norm of opinions based upon anecdotes). On my own web site I have recommended this book.
32 of 33 people found the following review helpful
Highest Recomendation 10 Feb 2005
By Lynn M. Selby - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover
As a clinical psychologist, I am grateful to have this book to recommend to my patients who are in or contemplating a divorce. In "The Truth about Children and Divorce", Dr. Emery provides parents with an overview of the divorce research that is neither fatalistic or sugar coated. From his years of clinical practice, he offers detailed and specific "scripts" of what to say to tell the children at different ages and in different situations (such as when there is an affair), thoughts on different custody schedules and advice about establishing a co-parenting relationship. Most importantly, Dr. Emery writes in the compassionate and personal voice of someone who has coached many a parent through the difficult road of separating their pain from their parenting, and who has traveled this difficult road himself. If you only recommend one book, this should be it.
41 of 44 people found the following review helpful
Mixed emotions about this book 15 Sep 2010
By H. Gillespie - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
This book does an excellent job of reminding you the children are first, giving you tips for dealing with your emotions, and presenting stories about other couples which can demonstrate the message the authors are trying to relay. My problem with the book was when the authors started expressing over and over that the goal is to keep the children in an environment which is as good as it was before, and for them to continue to live the life they would have led if their parents had not divorced. I am getting divorced primarily to prevent that from happening! I do not want my child to continue to live the life he was living, or to think the relationship his dad had with either of us was the way marriage should be.
I skimmed the rest of the book after I realized this message was being so strongly portrayed, and never found a section which dealt with the fact that sometimes a divorce removes a child from a very dysfuntional family (beyond the typical "Mommy and Daddy are fighting") and how to make it ok that we are actually happier now. Yes, I completely understand the divorce has an effect on the child. But it is naive to assume their old life had qualities which we should strive to continue to have.
22 of 25 people found the following review helpful
Positive Direction for Families in a Divorce 7 Sep 2004
By K. Westbury - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover
This book is a wonderful resource,written with warmth and wisdom. I was both touched and enlightened by Dr.Emery's accounts. The author brings home highly useful and important concepts with an easy and enjoyable style. For myself and many of my divorced friends,parenting through divorce has presented sometimes painful challenges with little guidance available. This book offers the kind of thinking, insight, tools and reaching out that families and parents need in a difficult time. The author emphasizes putting children first, but even more, based on many years of experience and insight, actually describes for parents how to do it. It is a compelling and heartening read.
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful
Still working through this one 12 Nov 2007
By K. Arnold - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I needed some words to use to tell my teen-aged daughter and pre-teen son about our divorce. Dr. Emery wrote it is important to tell children in this age who initiated the divorce, and I used a his words, almost to the letter. So far, that has backfired with my daughter, who is very, very angry with me. I still believe the book will be a good reference, but I am ambivalent about taking his advice quite so literally.
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