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Tread Softly (Bello) [Kindle Edition]

Wendy Perriam
3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)

Print List Price: £14.99
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Book Description

Lorna, thirty-nine, is married to misanthropic Ralph, who in turn is wedded to his twenty-seven pipes and his artificial-grass business. In fact, it’s a ménage à trios, the third party being Lorna’s Monster, a gleefully sadistic personification of her panic attacks.



The Monster has a field day when, after a botched foot operation, Lorna is sent to convalesce among the deaf and demented inmates of a nursing home from hell, where to staff have more problems than the patients. But, despite her surroundings, she begins to blossom, making new friends, discovering untapped talents and even a reawakened interest in sex, thanks to the attentions of an ardent young care-worker. She even gets offered a challenging new job. Meanwhile Ralph is being sued by a vindictive business client and fears he will lose his house and his livelihood.



In another of her wickedly black comedies Wendy Perriam chronicles an unconventional marriage, showing the bond that can develop between two people who have experienced a ‘lost childhood’. She also takes a swipe at the medical profession and, by graphically illustrating the plight of residents in low-grade care homes, offers a devastating critique of the way society treats the old and infirm. Yet, throughout, the novel is leavened by the author’s exuberant wit.



‘One of the finest and funniest writers to emerge in England since Kingsley Amis. She is gifted with devastating powers of observation . . .’ Herald Tribune



Product Description

Review

Each book [is] a magnificently orchestrated orgy in which her potent blend of sex, religion and humour takes the reader on a spiritual odyssey. -- Time Out

One of the most interesting unsung novelists of her generation. Intelligent and accessible. -- Sunday Telegraph

Perriam is one of the finest and funniest writers to emerge in England since Kingsley Amis. -- Herald Tribune

Perriam must be a strong contender for Britain's most underrated novelist. -- Daily Telegraph

Wendy Perriam was born to write. Her work refreshes and exhilarates. I am her greatest fan. -- Fay Weldon

Book Description

Lorna, thirty-nine, is married to misanthropic Ralph, who in turn is wedded to his twenty-seven pipes and his artificial-grass business. In fact, it’s a ménage à trios, the third party being Lorna’s Monster, a gleefully sadistic personification of her panic attacks. The Monster has a field day when, after a botched foot operation, Lorna is sent to convalesce among the deaf and demented inmates of a nursing home from hell, where to staff have more problems than the patients. But, despite her surroundings, she begins to blossom, making new friends, discovering untapped talents and even a reawakened interest in sex, thanks to the attentions of an ardent young care-worker. She even gets offered a challenging new job. Meanwhile Ralph is being sued by a vindictive business client and fears he will lose his house and his livelihood. In another of her wickedly black comedies Wendy Perriam chronicles an unconventional marriage, showing the bond that can develop between two people who have experienced a ‘lost childhood’. She also takes a swipe at the medical profession and, by graphically illustrating the plight of residents in low-grade care homes, offers a devastating critique of the way society treats the old and infirm. Yet, throughout, the novel is leavened by the author’s exuberant wit. ‘One of the finest and funniest writers to emerge in England since Kingsley Amis. She is gifted with devastating powers of observation . . .’ Herald Tribune

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 908 KB
  • Print Length: 361 pages
  • Publisher: Bello (31 May 2012)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B008847SPK
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #150,569 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

About the Author

Wendy Perriam has been writing since the age of 5, completing her first 'novel', A Pony At Last, on her 12th birthday. Expelled from boarding school for heresy - told she was in Satan's power and in danger of eternal damnation - she escaped to Oxford, where she read History and also trod the boards. After a variety of offbeat jobs, ranging from artist's model to carnation-disbudder to researcher on medieval cookery, she now divides her time between teaching and writing. Having begun by writing poetry, she went on to publish 15 novels and 6 short-story collections. She has also written extensively for newspapers and magazines.
Wendy feels that her many conflicting life experiences - strict convent-school discipline and swinging-sixties wildness, marriage and divorce, infertility and motherhood, 9-to-5 conformity and periodic Bedlam - have helped shape her as a writer. 'Writing allows for shadow-selves. I'm both the staid conformist matron and the slag; the well-organised author toiling at her desk and the madwoman shrieking in a straitjacket.'


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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
17 of 19 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Wit and Wisdom 10 Oct. 2002
Format:Hardcover
What can we do with the problems life throws at us except laugh at them?! Wendy Perriam ensures that we shed tears of sympathy and of laughter with this new novel. Its a fantastic and funny read based on the author's real experience. In this, we can all relate to it, while pondering societies bigger problems - like the state of the NHS for one. Read it now!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars a real surprise 21 Oct. 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I don't usually read this sort of book, but I bought it on special offer. I really enjoyed it and was totally drawn into Lorna's life.
I liked the way she fought with her demons, and was 'with her all the way. Yes, definitely a very pleasant surprise.

I was reading and got a panic 'you machine is about to lose power warning .....' I had to rush around and find my tablet so that I could carry on reading as I really didn't want to leave the story.
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11 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Don't Panic 4 Oct. 2002
By A Customer
Format:Hardcover
This novel will bring a smile to your face while making you think. This is one of the only books I have found which tackles the experience of panic attacks - which so many of us can relate to . . .
A fantastic, real and funny read.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Just so unpleasant 10 Feb. 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I kept right on until half way through the book, hoping it would get better, before giving up. There wasn't one character I could care about. The heroine was so lifeless, and flat. I think her many health problems were supposed to make her pathetic, but she was merely apathetic. I kept waiting for the painkillers to wear off, to see if she'd finally develop some personality, a bit of gumption, but she remained wearisome. Like another reviewer, I found the sexual fantasies about her surgeon/father downright creepy. I haven't read anything else by this author, and I'm not tempted to after this offering.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars light entertainment 13 Dec. 2012
By joe
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
a woman escapes a stifling marriage/life via ongoing problems post op with her bunions that leads her to take a spell of respite in a care home. the array of characters in the care home allow for plenty of humour in the book. i actually missed the setting when the plot moved on. a light but entertaining read with an unambitious ending.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Stick with it... 10 Dec. 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
It's a little hard going to start with, but I liked this book enough by the latter half to keep picking it up in any spare moments I had. At first the main character seems weak and annoying but as she comes to understand herself more, I grew more sympathetic towards her. It also made me think more seriously about the aging process, the loss of loved ones, the conditions in institutions, and how important it is to be true to yourself and be honest with others. Not a bad read, and refreshingly different from many other novels.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A Little Close To Home 9 Dec. 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I bought this book to read while recovering from a foot operation myself!
Have mixed feelings about the story as I kept hoping that it would get going, but felt that it never did.
I quite enjoyed it, but not the sort of book I was dying to finish.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Funny and tragic by turns 9 Dec. 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Story of botched op and mismanagement of aftercare for a woman with a history of panic attacks. Life appears to be crumbling around her but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Main message? If you've got bunions, might be best to leave them be!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Witty, moving
Very funny indeed, yet sad at times. It gives you a dismal picture of life in a care home without being maudlin.
Published 21 months ago by S. Emmett
2.0 out of 5 stars Oh dear
Hmm, what to say. I won't go into a plot outline, that's covered elsewhere, but it does get more and more depressing. Read more
Published 22 months ago by Bookworm168
5.0 out of 5 stars A charming and well observed read.
Written with wit and insight; sad and depressing at times but always well observed and characterised. An engaging and, at times, amusing read.
Published 23 months ago by Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars Tread softly
I liked this,an easy read and enjoyable,I will look for more by this authoress.
For in the night reading when sleepless,this is good.
Published on 27 April 2013 by Lyn of surrey
4.0 out of 5 stars Quite an enjoyable read
This was quite a weird book, I thought, but quite enjoyable. Lorna, the narrator of the story, seems to be unbelievable unlucky in the situations she find herself, but she's not... Read more
Published on 19 Mar. 2013 by Mrs. Deborah R. Barnes
1.0 out of 5 stars Biggest load of tosh I've ever read
I'm not prone to writing reviews, but have to on this occasion. I'll save you the trouble of buying this book. Woman has bunions, has op - goes wrong. Read more
Published on 13 Feb. 2013 by Shelljane
3.0 out of 5 stars Fantasy reading
Somewhat bizarre! An easy read but rather shallow and tedious in parts. Greek gods having strong influences on human lives takes a bit of imagination especially in a present day... Read more
Published on 19 Jan. 2013 by Mags
1.0 out of 5 stars Faulty
This doesn't work properly on my Kindle. I can read the first page, but when I go to turn to the next it goes straight to chapter two, then three and so on. Read more
Published on 18 Jan. 2013 by Judi Blake
5.0 out of 5 stars Free books
Really enjoyed this book. Not what I usually shoose. But it was free and I had nothing to read and already over spent for Christmas so a free book perfect.
Published on 24 Dec. 2012 by Lorna Jukes
2.0 out of 5 stars Sorry I wasted time reading a third of this book!
I am not enjoying this book, and only got a third through it before I finally gave up. Maybe I just dont get the humour!
Published on 16 Dec. 2012 by BTMcG
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