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Totally Unsuitable For Children [Paperback]

Simon Cheshire

Price: 6.99 & FREE Delivery in the UK on orders over 10. Details
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Book Description

17 Nov 2010
"Ladies and gentlemen, the next act in tonight's show is TOTALLY unsuitable for children!" The Galactic Coliseum, a spaceship theatre which tours the universe, has a brand new attraction. The problem is, it's a hideous alien monster. The theatre lands on Earth, the monster attacks the local school, and just as the pupils think it's safe to come out of hiding, an entire alien invasion begins... "Reminiscent of The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy. It positively bubbles with jokes" - The Independent On Sunday

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More About the Author

Latest news, free chapters and more are available from Simon's website.

Simon Cheshire grew up in Warwickshire. He was always the quiet kid at the back of the class, and spent a lot of time staring out of the window. From a young age, he was a dedicated reader and would spend many hours absorbed in books, happily dreaming of faraway places, and completely ignoring his mother's cries of "Go out and get some fresh air, for heaven's sake!"

His hobbies include movies, tinkering with old computers and wishing he had more hobbies. He lives in Warwick with his wife and children, although he spends most of his time in a world of his own.

His first book appeared in 1997, and since then his books have been published in many countries around the world, and in several languages. He writes in a tiny room crammed with books, pieces of paper and empty chocolate bar wrappers.

Some things you didn't know about Simon Cheshire
* He is allergic to animal hair, dust mites and the word 'incredible'.
* His favourite food is fish. Or possibly chocolate.
* He has no dress sense whatsoever, and usually goes around looking like a mobile rubbish tip.
* His favourite activity is reading late at night, when everyone else is asleep.
* He writes on a laptop computer running Linux Mint, using LibreOffice to write his books, Weebly to maintain his website and PacMan to waste his time.
* He hates gardening, swimming and Christmas.
* He believes in the existence of extra-terrestrials.
* When he was growing up, he wanted to be either an actor or a film director.
* He has travelled in China, India and Egypt and really, really wants to go to the Moon.

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Amazon Review

So what would you do if you looked out of your bedroom window and saw a huge, great Victorian theatre land in the field next to your house, belching green smoke from its engines? Sophie Ottershaw didn't hesitate. As editor of the school newspaper it was her duty to investigate immediately.

She finds that the Galactic Coliseum has landed and that because alien audiences have grown tired of Douglas the Android and Dennis Biggs and his Cabinet of Death, things are about to change. Julian, the theatre's owner, has picked up a new act at the last fuelling stop on their way to earth ...

This zany, fast-moving, science-fiction comedy that appeals to just about every young audience will certainly appeal to fans of Simon Cheshire's hilarious Jeremy Brown stories but will also pick up new fans who love great story-telling--Pauline Sutton --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.


Reminiscent of The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy. It positively bubbles with jokes. --The Independent On Sunday

The title alone should ensure that kids pick up this book - and they won't regret it. --Kids Out

A sci-fi spoof full of larger-than-life characters.
--Burnley Express

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