I reject the notion that a dumber film will be released in 2004. I just don't think it's possible that one year can hold two films this remarkably stupid. Yes, I know it's early, and yes, I know that the world is not safe so long as Freddie Prinze the second is still receiving scripts, but I doubt something will trump Torque in the department of sheer stupidity. Torque is Gigli on wheels, or if you prefer, Whigli.
Hoping to build off the incredible momentum of Biker Boyz...uh huh...Ice Cube pairs with Martin Henderson (The Ring) to race motorcycles in the hot California sun. How keen it would be if Dom DeLuise and Jamie Farr (and perhaps Roger Moore!) would join them on their quest. Believe it or not, adding some of the more shameful aspects of The Cannonball Run really wouldn't ruin Torque, so why the hell not? At least it would show more imagination than is there now.
Of note is Monet Mazur. She's cute, but that's not why she's noteworthy. In the film, she sports a t-shirt with the world famous Rolling Stones logo. Her dad is the original artist of said logo. Yeah, that's about all you'll learn watching Torque. Oh, and her middle name is Happy, and she's in a band called Nancy Raygun. Even still, that ephemera is of far greater value than the 80 minutes of Torque.
The scary thing is, rather than letting the bikes rev for most of the movie, there is actually a plot, as silly as it is, involving murder, betrayal, and, of course, a motorcycle race against time.
I won't even waste more of your time - or mine, which is really the issue here, belaboring the point. No matter how quick the super motorcycles in Torque are, they couldn't move the flick fast enough for me. What a dreadful way to spend an evening