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Toads, and the Women Who Kiss Them. Aunt Alex's Army Manual: How to Free Yourself From the Narcissist Paperback – 25 May 2012

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Product details

  • Paperback: 244 pages
  • Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (25 May 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1475236972
  • ISBN-13: 978-1475236972
  • Product Dimensions: 15.2 x 1.4 x 22.9 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 631,819 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By AMG on 22 April 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
There is so much in this book that hits the spot. I recognised all of the elements of the toxic relationship that develops between toads and the women who kiss them in my own personal story and it helped enormously to know that I had been dealing with a "type" rather than someone just a bit different. I especially liked the fact that the author highlights how people and mental health professionals are quick to place the blame for choosing or staying in such a toxic relationship on the woman, adding insult to injury. Highly recommended to anyone who found herself devastated and full of self doubts while dealing with off the charts selfishness, manipulation, defensiveness and exploitation, combined with lack of empathy, kindness, and reciprocity.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Ms. E. Gregory on 10 Nov. 2011
Format: Kindle Edition
I came across Alexandras writing when I was googling and trying to find a way out of the mess I was left with after an extremely destructive relationship. Her words stuck with me over the months that followed and I took the opportunity to look up her writing again recently. I found this little gem here on Amazon and downloaded it.

What can I say?

This is just such a wonderful little book. It is witty, takes no prisoners and says it like it is whilst being compassionate to all those people who have found themselves drowning in a sea of a crazy-making and soul-destroying relationship. Fresh and funny, some of her observations are so scarily similar to behaviours my ex used to come out with I wondered for a while if we shared the same ex.

Cannot praise this highly enough, I think it is a wonderful read and an important tool for helping people to get out, stay out and get happier.

Thanks Alexandra. :-)
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By PC12 on 17 Oct. 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Read this in one sitting - it accurately portrays life with a narcissist. Painful to read in parts when you have experienced the hell of a relationship with one but illuminating. Very true, that they cannot be healed,cured or loved better from their affliction - they do not change and it is wasted hope to believe otherwise. They are mentally ill, and dangerously so, yet they have no desire to want to change, as narcissistic behaviour get them what they want..why would they want to change?! They actually believe everyone else is manipulating, plotting, lying, power playing, deceiving and controlling for their own gain too - they do not see themselves "different". However, when you understand how the behaviour is formed in them (in early childhood about 2 1/2 yrs) there is a sense of sadness because inside these vile, disturbed, selfish, abusive creatures is a little child snivelling and hiding in the wardrobe because underneath they are frightened cowards yielding power to feel better about themselves. A very difficult relationship to unearth but the author has written the book that empowers partners of narcissists that they must walk away from them and never look back - in fact RUN away before you become complete destroyed by them.
There is lots of good advise in the book, as well as some laugh out loud descriptions and scenarios. Most of all though, the author has shown, that underneath all the humour and plain talk, she knows the workings of a narcissist with experienced accuracy and her knowledge and professional understanding shines through also. A caring piece of work that will enlighten, inform and comfort those who have fallen at the hands of narcissism at it's nastiest, destructive and most evil level.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Bubbles123 on 21 May 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I am just starting the divorce process after living with 'a toad' for 20 years. Reading this book was like having an honest best friend breaking the truth of my situation to me in a straight forward, and supportive way. It really opened my eyes to my situation and made me feel empowered to have confidence in my own decisions and to take the necessary steps to change my life. In fact I have listed my husband's name as 'TOAD' on my mobile phone as a reminder of what I am dealing with! Thank you.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Julia J. B. Clasby on 5 Aug. 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
What an absolutely invaluable 'First Aid Kit' for anyone either reeling from the aftershock of - or still in the agonising and confusing throes of - being 'up close and personal' with a Narcissist/Psychopath/Emotional Vampire or other of that ilk, here termed a Toad. Like an emergency glucose ''hit' for someone suffering a diabetic hypo, this book goes straight to where it's needed FAST - yes, there are many other books out there dealing, oftentimes very well and very thoroughly, with the same subject matter BUT for someone unaware of what's happening (or just happened) to them, this book offers an immediate, effective escape route from the maelstrom of confusion, self-doubt, misery, etc. It gets you back to yourself, speaking directly to the 'inner, autherntic you' - cutting through the 'cult like' brainwashing/conditioning/manipulation the Toad has employed to help itself at your expense. I speak from personal experience when I say I wish I had found this book in the early days of my own personal 'Toad experience' a decade ago! Absolutely recommended.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By waterceltfire on 7 Nov. 2011
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Really great book. Succinct, witty, very wise and realistic. I highly recommend this little book ... no wasted words and plenty of clear information and clear thinking. Really helpful.
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