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Tits-Out Teenage Terror Totty [Paperback]

Steven Wells
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)

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Book Description

21 Oct 1999 Attack!
Legendary NME hack, Steven Wells, creates a crazed UK populated by berserker Margaret Thatcher sex-dolls, mutant ferret-breeding anarchist witches, incredibly talented chimpanzee novelists and gibberingly insane teenage terrorist psychopaths.

With Princess Diana repeatedly resurrected and then ritually slaughtered to satisfy the angst-lust of the drug-addled British public, with the government kidnapped by revenge-crazed Yorkshire miners and with an increasingly insane God gearing up for Armageddon, the scene is set for Justine Justice and her top terrorist chums to persecute their insane jihad against the SAS, vegetarians, road protestors, serious novelists, rave music and the cabal of evil dog-molesting Tory vampires who secretly rule the world.

The result is a book that makes James Joyce's Finnegan's Wake read like Janet and John dumbed down for dyslexics. On crack. OFFICIAL!


Product details

  • Paperback: 248 pages
  • Publisher: Attack! Books (21 Oct 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1840680326
  • ISBN-13: 978-1840680324
  • Product Dimensions: 17.2 x 10.8 x 1.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,116,623 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

Review

Fucking Brilliant -- Irvine Welsh

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Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars AWESOME BOOK!! 13 Oct 1999
By A Customer
This is the BEST reading I ever had!! Everyone should order your copy of this rare but extremely brilliant book today! Nobody writes Margaret Thatcher sex-dolls, mutant ferret-breeding anarchist witches, bestselling chimp novelists, gibberingly insane teenage terrorist psychopaths, resurrected Princess Diana, vegetarians, road protestors, serious novelists, rave music, evil dog-molesting Tory vampires like Steven Wells does. You will not be disappointed!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars KABOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! 5 Feb 2012
By Barmee
Steven "Swells" Wells will be a name known to teenagers in the '80's who looked forward to each new issue of the NME (New Musical Express) to see which band he would lay in to this week.

Swells took no prisoners - every week the hopes of some fledgling band (or indeed the smug certainty of dinosaur rock stars who were sure that they'd be given the blessing of the music press) would not simply be given 'a going-over' but would be ritually SLAUGHTERED. Some must have taken this personally, others however would see it as a compliment to be torn to shreds by Swells.

So it is with this book. All sacred cows are ripped to bloody pieces by Swells' caustic wit. The pace of the book is breathtaking - whole pages can go by with barely a punctuation mark to be seen. You are left in no doubt when another poor sod has been killed as the very font of the book expands to make it clear the excrutiating noise involved in the latest epic slaughter.

No part of society is safe - Tories, Lefties, Capitalists, Veggies, Folkies, Death metalers, Christians, Sun Readers and writers, sweet old ladies, small children, fluffy animals of all sorts (and God) - they all meet a bloody end sooner or later in the novel. This book is great fun .... but equally not for the faint hearted ... one minute you are delighting in the gory death of some Banker, the next you are trying to keep your last meal down in the face of some masturbatory/drug fueled ("combat strength cocain" usually) act of perversion.

Despite the endless scenes of death and debauchery, this is actually a very thoughtful book.
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2 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I agree with Irvine Welsh. 20 Mar 2000
This book is incredible. So very different to anything else I've read. The style is fast and relentless and there are sentences that go on for pages with descriptions, analogies and analogies of the analogies. The reader hardly gets a chance to pause for breath before the next wave of action. Its brilliant, more sex, drugs and violence than all Tarantino films put together. The way the book is presented is very original, and the opinions expressed reflect the mood of modern society. It took me about the first chapter to really get into the fast style. You have to read this book quickly, you are forced to by the lack of full stops and the constant action. Wells rewrites the English language, inventing new words by joining words together. One word to describe the book: relentless. Relentless comedy, action, sex, drugs, violence, and fun.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 4.0 out of 5 stars  1 review
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! 3 Dec 2001
By Bob - Published on Amazon.com
Well! How can i describe this book? This is the most demented, shocking thing i have ever read. This is either the best book ever written or the biggest load of rubbish ever. It's a very funny, virtually plotless book. It's literally undescribable. It's definitely not for everyone, but is recommended for headcases everywhere.
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