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How To Think More About Sex (School of Life) Paperback – 10 May 2012


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Product details

  • Paperback: 160 pages
  • Publisher: Macmillan (10 May 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1447202279
  • ISBN-13: 978-1447202271
  • Product Dimensions: 13 x 1.4 x 17.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 9,436 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Alain de Botton is the author of Essays in Love (1993), The Romantic Movement (1994), Kiss and Tell (1995), How Proust can Change your Life (1997), The Consolations of Philosophy (2000) The Art of Travel (2002), Status Anxiety (2004) and most recently, The Architecture of Happiness (2006).


Product Description

About the Author

Alain de Botton is the author of the international bestsellers, How Proust Can Change Your Life, The Art of Travel and Religion for Atheists, and other books that try to throw light on the big challenges of our lives. He is the founder of Living Architecture (www.living-architecture.co.uk), a social enterprise which gets top architects to build holiday homes for rental by anyone. He is also founder of The School of Life (www.theschooloflife.com), for which this series has been designed.

The School of Life is a London-based enterprise that is dedicated to the most useful ideas relevant to the dilemmas of everyday life. We consider questions like: How can we fulfil our potential? Can work be inspiring? Why does community matter? Can relationships last a lifetime? We don’t have all the answers, but we will direct you towards a variety of useful ideas – from philosophy to literature, psychology to the visual arts – that are guaranteed to stimulate, provoke, nourish and console.


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Customer Reviews

3.9 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful By V. Jakes on 4 Jun 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
...and that is what makes this book such an intriguing read. It's not meant to patronise you about sex and suggest you need to try harder with more effort, instead it's about examining the behaviour of yourself and possibly your partner to understand why we do the things that we do and perhaps celebrate these behaviours rather than push them away to the repressed corners of our minds.

I am a fan of Alain de Botton and find the tone in his books and essays to be measured and even and really do recommend this and other readings of his work.
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23 of 24 people found the following review helpful By Mr. S. Miller on 6 Jun 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Short though it is, this is a hugely important book which I hope politicians and policy-makers are reading right now. AdB has some wonderful insights into the (non) functioning of long-term human relationships and some truly novel ideas about how to make things better.

I appreciate that labelling a book like this a polemic may put off readers but AdB has a poet's gift of expression and writes with disarming accessibility. There are also many lyrical passages which demand to be re-read for the sheer enjoyment of his style of expression.

Hard to think how the rest of the titles in this series can possibly live up to this.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Mr. P. G. Chesters on 13 Nov 2012
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Does it as the blurb says "help us think more deeply and wisely about sex"?

I could identify with most of the observations that he makes particularly "the boldness displayed by middle aged married men when they are trying to seduce other women should never be confused with confidence; it is just the fear and death, which breeds an awareness of just how infrequently they are ever going to have to sample such moments again". (although I'm not married).

The book is full of observations like this which make me simultaneously happy and sad.

I did think pretty hard about whether what we individually as beautiful is to fill a specific lack in ourselves. I thought the Mexican Church was ugly and OTT so perhaps I'm looking for calm in the middle of chaos. However like another reviewer I didn't rate Madame Antonia Devaucay - I thought she looked mean and bovine.

Whether this thinking will carry on and improve my (sex) life and life in general I am not too convinced.
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22 of 24 people found the following review helpful By Patrick Løye VINE VOICE on 2 Sep 2012
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A delightfully quirky little book!

Alain de Botton takes us on an unusual journey into the world of sex. But less of a teenage-snickering-at-rude-words venture or a "sexpert" telling us how mastery of the lotus position is the solution to all our sexual woes (I did chuckle at Alain's remarks to this very notion) - more a thoughtful glance from a completely different perspective. Philosophy and sex. Not a normal combination, I give you that... but Mr de Botton is frighteningly on the ball with a number of his observations, and paints a rather stark view of sex. His theories into eroticism and the lack of desire were particularly interesting

His tone is dry, yet charming. It's a bit dark but laced elegantly with some lashings of good humour and a fair amount of tongue-in-cheek to boot. His obsession with art, however, grated somewhat... Trudging through a whimsical, yet painfully detailed, fascination with a painting of a woman (personally I thought it was a creepy sort of painting I'd see in a Count Dracula's Castle), how the biblical Madonna is somewhat sexually alluring (The original MILF, I guess) and how our fascination with art depicts our sexual interests.

On a number of occasions I found that he barely skimmed the surface of a topic, or I challenged the idea and wanted more explanation - but was disappointed not to see him explore them further. Some topics weren't even graced with a mention at all - such as social attitudes to sex (i.e. Why are men and women judged so differently in terms of their sexual behaviours)... which left the book feeling a bit bare. It was like I went to a fancy restaurant and left after having the Starters. Lovely starter for sure... just not truly satisfying.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By peter hayes on 21 Jun 2013
Format: Paperback
This is a quick read that can change your life. Importantly, it's now about how to 'it' better, but to get what you want, which honestly negotiated should lead to happier coupledom or partnership just for a night! For us singles we can read it as a thought-map to the kind of relationship we want in future. Or read it with your partner. Discuss the issues you disagree and agree on: your relationship will be stronger for it. It is now my gift de jour: everyone is getting it.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Self-help junkie VINE VOICE on 4 Oct 2014
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The best book on sex and relationships I think I've ever read - and that's saying something! de Botton is a rather wry, but very compassionate, guide to the mores and pitfalls of modern sexual life. He tackles subjects such as internet pornography, infidelity, loss of sexual desire within marriage, and more... He is intelligent and not at all preachy: one gets a strong feeling that he locates himself within the issues he describes. He is not some scientist observing subjects; he writes as 'one of us', attempting to navigate our perilous way through the hormonal, moral and psychological sexual maze that we are forced to enter simply by dint of being human. One small point: all of the sex he mentions is heterosexual. It would have been nice if at least one of the examples could have been a same-sex couple. There is perhaps a whole other dimension here which he decided to steer clear of. Other books on this topic I heartily recommend are Meg Barker's "Rewriting the Rules", and Esther Perel's "Mating in Captivity".
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