My husband couldn't stop laughing when he saw me reading this book - I'm the most hopelessly untidy person he knows. "Aren't you trying to run before you can walk? Why don't you start by putting away the ironing?" he asked.
Well, doh!
How can he possibly expect me to put away the ironing until I have a beautiful Martha-style linen closet, complete with dividers, cross-referenced labels on both sheets and shelves, and two different paint effects?
How can I possibly pay bills on time until I have a dedicated home office cunningly concealed inside an antique Dutch armoire?
How can I possibly tidy my unsteady piles of magazines until I have covered my plywood Ikea magazine files in linen bookcloth and added a sashpull for ease of manoeuvrability?
Laugh all you like, husband dear, but I am completely in love with this book. Whenever I feel overwhelmed by the chaos of my life, I open the pages of this book, catch a glimpse of Martha's superhuman home-making efforts, and know that, provided I follow her example, one day I too will have a bureau solely dedicated to giftwrapping and 23 towels in my guest bathroom.
Okay, getting the tongue out of my cheek for a second, this book is a little too much for all but the most obsessive-compulsive, but sometimes it is really truly lovely to live vicariously through Martha Stewart.
There are plenty of useful tips in this book, and lots of lovely - and cheap - decoration ideas (who knew a lick of eau-de-nil paint on an old wooden crate could have such a magical effect?) Under Martha's organisational influence, I have finally put away my ironing (now in little colour coded piles, get me); bought a Dymo label machine; and filed six years' worth of bank statements in date order (this last little habit of Martha's must have made the police's job considerably easier when they arrested her for fraud). Hell, I have even googled "bookcloth" and where to buy it (Falkiner Fine Papers in London's Charing Cross, if anyone's interested, and they do mail order).
If you are chronically messy, this book isn't going to change everything, but it might just inspire you to tidy up, adopt a few good habits, and make your world a little bit nicer.