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Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About [Paperback]

Mil Millington
3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (49 customer reviews)
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Book Description

26 Jan 2006

'Insightful and wickedly funny' Heat

Pel Dalton leads an uneventful life. His days are spent bluffing his way through an IT job in the university library, pillow-fighting with his two sons, surviving family outings to the supermarket, and finding new things to argue about with Ursula, his German girlfriend. But things are about to change...

In this funny tale of love, fatherhood and Anglo-German relations Pel discovers that sometimes the things that drive you crazy can be the only things that can keep you sane.


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Product details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Phoenix; New Ed edition (26 Jan 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0753820730
  • ISBN-13: 978-0753820735
  • Product Dimensions: 12.9 x 2.1 x 19.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (49 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 290,157 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

Amazon Review

In his weekly Guardian column, Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About, Mil Millington archly chronicles the domestic dialectical antagonisms of life with his German partner, Margret. Although this novel, confusingly, shares the same title as the column and its central characters, Pel Dalton and Ursula Krötenjäger, are an Anglo-German couple not averse to disagreement, it is, without wishing to make a blindingly obvious point, a work of fiction. Millington's customarily whimsical take on contemporary gender relations is, of course, much in evidence but some of the sharper comedy here actually occurs beyond the familial settings. In certain respects the book has possibly more in common with the wry, mild-mannered satire of the Ealing films or David Nobbs' Reginald Perrin than the novels of Tony Parsons, Nick Hornby and co. (At one point Millington, though no doubt entirely unintentionally, even pilfers a classic Perrin gag.)

The book's narrator and protagonist, Pel, is a slightly hapless father of two who works in a library, or in modern parlance a "Learning Centre", at the University of North-Eastern England ("UoNe to its friends"). When his boss Terry Steven Russell ("TSR") vanishes from the University not long after babbling about extradition treaties during a game of Lazer Wars, Pel is promoted to Computer Team Administration, Software Acquisition and Training Manager (or "CTASATM" for short.) While the post pays no more money and he still has to do his old job as well, it does mean his partner Ursula, an affectionate if exacting German, can forge ahead with long-cherished plans to move house. Needless to say neither moving nor dealing with disgruntled colleagues and negotiating the university's slippery corporate structure prove easy. But as the latter finds Pel embroiled in acting as courier for the Triads, presiding over a scheme to build a new extension over a historical burial site and hiding a deadly nerve gas under its foundations, what he and his girlfriend argue about rather pales into insignificance. --Travis Elborough --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

'A brilliantly written comedy. A novel that manages to be both funny and affectionate' (Guardian )

'With his tear-inducing humour, Millington has tapped into the zeitgeist, Helen Fielding-style.' (Vogue 20020901)

'While books that claim to be 'laugh-out-loud funny' are legion, ones such as this that actually are are rarer than molars on a Rhode Island Hen . . . There is little to say about coupledom that is not wittily and often movingly explored here. Sharply-written, brilliantly observed and absolutely hilarious.' (Wendy Holden, Daily Mail 20021025)

'A fantastic debut - a funny and heart-warming comedy about love, fatherhood and being in the wrong places at all the wrong times.' (Essentials 20021101)

'Mil Millington's comic timing is spot-on in this laugh-out-loud warm-hearted and engaging novel.' (Publishing News 20021101)

'The plot escalates with all the shameless hyperbole needed to fuel a really good row . . . This is a very funny book.' (Observer 20021013)

'Compulsive reading . . . drenched in self-deprecating humour.' (Metro 20021007)

'Insightful and wickedly funny.' (Heat 20021001)

'The funniest book I have read all year' (Sydney Morning Herald 20030901)

'Hilarious and insightful . . . Realistic and acerbic, this first novel is bound to receive a lot of attention.' (Bookseller 20020726)

'A brilliant, thoroughly urbane hoot' (The Big Issue in the North 20021005)

'A sardonic, cool, fairground-ride of a book ... hugely satisfying' (Times 20030601)

'It's impossible not to laugh out loud at the Anglo-German quips and world-weary observations that tumble off the page' (Guardian 20021109)

'Mil Millington's legendary bust-ups with his long-term lover . . . have now spawned a madcap novel.' (In Style 20021109)

'It's really funny' (Daily Express 20021101)

'A surprise hit . . . a quirky little comedy.' (Mirror 20020928)

'Guaranteed to raise a smile' (Irish News 20021007)

'Funny . . . moves at a cracking pace' (Sunday Mirror 20021027)

'A comedy of relationships in all their confusions' (Sunday Life 20021201)

'A funny and touching read' (Hello 20030107)

'I don't normally quote for fiction, but as clearly all Mil has done in the way of fiction here is change the name 'Mil' to the name 'Pel', I have no compunction whatsoever in pointing out that this is completely hilarious.' (Jenny Colgan 20030107)

'Hilarious' (More 20030611)

'A very funny look at relationships' (Company 20030611) --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Good, but ultimately unsatisfying as a novel 18 Nov 2003
Format:Paperback
Good stuff first: very funny throughout. Sharply observed and well-written on the family relationships that define us all. Some really touching passages, especially on the children. Worth reading for these reasons.

My criticisms, though, are that the plot is ultimately unsatisfying. Pel gets into trouble, but it's nothing he's done that puts him there, he's just (very) unlucky. He does little or nothing to get himself out of the problems, and nothing is resolved. It's like some sort of plot has been grafted on to make the (really funny) situations (shopping, work, parent's evening, buying a house) hang together. As a novel it doesn't work. As a series of picaresque situations, it's really very funny.

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13 of 14 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
You may have read Mil Millington's column in the Weekend magazine of Saturday's Guardian, or his original list of things he and his girlfriend argue about on his website. If so, or if not, this book will make you laugh. So what if he has taken the 'write what you know' adage to its extreme? Funny is funny however you look at it - and this is very, very funny. My girlfriend brought home the book, read it first and then suggested I read it. The last book we both read was a road atlas, via torchlight, on a Pembrokeshire country lane. That we both thought Things... was a great read is testament to its characters and, best of all, the dialogue of the two leads. If you don't recognise anything of your own relationship in the superbly funny disputes, then you must be Posh or Becks. Ultimately, though, this is about two people very much in love dealing with everyday stuff. Everyday stuff that made me, and my girlfriend, laugh more than anything we've read this year. It misses out on five stars only because it couldn't help us decide who cleans the bathroom next. I definitely did it last time...
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A book to be read alone 18 Oct 2002
Format:Paperback
This is a funny book - and will annoy people. It won't annoy the reader, but you will be getting up the noses of those around you. Frankly, no-one likes to be on public transport sat next to a person who's grinning like an idiot, giggling, and has tears running down their face.

And being nudged by this person and then asked to read a bit is even worse.

Also, do not read this book in the loo either. It is still not socially acceptable to be heard laughing from inside a toilet (especially when alone).

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Who's writing the screenplay? 14 Jan 2009
By Four Violets VINE™ VOICE
Format:Paperback
This book deserves five stars because its quite simply hilarious. I haven't laughed so much reading a book for ages, and a truly funny book is a rare find. While the title refers of course to the bickering between Pel and his German wife Ursula, (everyone in a relationship argues constantly, insists Pel, its normal) the University setting and ludicrous situations the academics find themselves in reminded me of Tom Sharpe's Wilt books. There is rarely a page without something like: "There's nothing so heartbreaking as a look of misery on a man with a moustache - as if his face hasn't got enough troubles." and... "Brian had a head of rich, auburn hair. It was quite clearly someone else's hair..."

This book is so full of visual gags its crying out to be made into a film - perhaps it already is being, and that could explain the abruptness of the ending, totally unresolved as everything is. Does Part Two await?
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars "You live in the land beyond mad" 4 Mar 2003
Format:Paperback
And other wonderfully hernia-inducing hilarious lines.... Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About... you've seen the website, now buy the book. Mil Millington is a genius. He's got to be the funniest man alive. I laughed and laughed... quite unashamedly and loudly whilst being glared at by my fellow commuters.

Pel is the kind of guy that women dread. He's a loafer; a drifter. He just "is". There is no preconceived ambition to his life and the things that happen to him could quite possibly happen to a person like him because he is out of control. This is where Ursula comes in and this is why they argue. Ursula spends 85% of her time having no concept of reason which is what makes her utterly uproariously funny, because when she DOES display reasonable tendencies, she uses her rapier tongue to flay Pel (and anyone else who comes within striking distance) alive. Please see the passage about the roofers. I about wet my pants.

The other character that is essential to the success of this book in my view is the Vice Chancellor. Mil's descriptive wording as the Vice Chancellor details his hangovers are pure medicine. You'll laugh so hard, you're eyes will bulge. The Vice Chancellor rocks!

Stop procrastinating and go and buy this book. It's damned funny and I can't wait for Mil Millington to write something else (cereal packets, government health warnings... if he writes it, I'll read it)

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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Very entertaining 10 Mar 2006
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
Unlike some other reviewers, I read this book without having great expectations, expecting a timeless classic. You actually have to possess some sense of humor and perhaps a slightly sarcastic mind, to get the author's drift.

It's a very well written book, which at first I didn't expect, and very funny and entertaining. I just couldn't put it down.
As a person in a relationship, I can identify with a lot of the circumstances the author descripes, though as he claims, there's no couple like him and Margret.

I'd recommend this book to anyone, who ever had a ridiculous fight with his/her spouse. You will instantly feel better about it. Have fun!

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Most Recent Customer Reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars 300 + pages of sketch comedy do not make a novel.
For the first few chapters I found this quite amusing, even belly laugh inducing once or twice. But eventually the sheer ridiculousness of it all got to me. Read more
Published 12 days ago by A. Peabody
2.0 out of 5 stars A bit off a mess.
I never read the internet site this was based on, only the book. However, now I am aware of it, it sort of make me more aware of the books problems. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Bluepencilreview
3.0 out of 5 stars Throw the Potatoes at Him
Possibly the greatest thing about fiction is that it transports you to places you will never go. You may be on a Starship or fighting an Orc. Read more
Published 15 months ago by Sam
4.0 out of 5 stars Very nice book, funny and original.
The story is interesting and the book gives a different perspective on love and relations within a cople. Read more
Published 22 months ago by Borghetti81
2.0 out of 5 stars This book is not very good and here's why
I don't know what all the fuss is about.

If people live their lives like this, then no wonder the world is in a mess. Read more
Published on 26 Sep 2010 by R. Bentham
3.0 out of 5 stars Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About
While there were parts of this book i really enjoyed and had laugh out loud moments too, other parts i felt dragged a little and will admit to doing some skim reading. Read more
Published on 5 Jan 2010 by Gemma
1.0 out of 5 stars Gut wrenchingly unfunny
I so wanted this to be funny, having read some of it in the Guardian. While there is the occasional snigger it soon becomes desperately forced, puerile and unsatisfying. Read more
Published on 24 Sep 2009 by Jon Swan
3.0 out of 5 stars Promoted beyond his competence
There is much to admire about a book that can make you laugh out loud but ultimately it is on its whole-scale effect you must judge it and I have to say that this one does not... Read more
Published on 15 Sep 2009 by Eileen Shaw
5.0 out of 5 stars THIS IS A VERY FUNNY BOOK - NO ARGUMENT!
Mil`s observations on the ridiculious nature of human relationships and male sexuality make this book a joy to read - the observations of college life with their ludicrious... Read more
Published on 22 Dec 2007 by M. Drake
5.0 out of 5 stars Tears of laughter!
I found this book in a second hand book shop in Thailand and bought it to kill a few hours on a coach. Read more
Published on 2 Aug 2007 by Matthew Magor
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