- Hardcover: 384 pages
- Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing PLC (16 Sep 2002)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 0747551561
- ISBN-13: 978-0747551560
- Product Dimensions: 23.6 x 15.5 x 3.8 cm
- Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (54 customer reviews)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 440,678 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- See Complete Table of Contents
They F*** You Up
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Product Description
Review
Clinical psychologist Oliver James argues that we are shaped far more by nurture than nature and that everything about our adult lives largely depends on our childhood experiences. This explains why siblings can be so unlike each other, and James gives an example of this through interviews with the identical twins Gail and Gillian Blakeney from the TV soap Neighbours who have identical genes but very different psychological profiles. Other more famous celebrity interviewees include Jeffrey Archer and Stephen Fry, and there are fascinating psychobiographies of Woody Allen, Mia Farrow and Prince Charles. However, the main thrust of this highly accessible book is to help us to move forward from being actors in a play scripted by our early childhood history to becoming the author of our own authentic experiences.
Irish Times
`He presents some compelling evidence for his case in this popular
examination of recent research into how we develop'
--This text refers to the Paperback edition.
examination of recent research into how we develop'
--This text refers to the Paperback edition.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
32 of 34 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A brilliant book to help you see what makes you tick,
By hug_the_cat (London, UK) - See all my reviews
This review is from: They F*** You Up: How to Survive Family Life (Paperback)
It always pains me to read luke-warm Amazon reviews of a book that has really impressed me so I feel I must add my enthusiastic praise to this page. As a layman to the field of psychoanalysis, I am fascinated by the insights James has provided me with and I truly believe he has written an acurate and useful book that many people will benefit from.If you can't afford the £40/hour to see a shrink, you could do worse than blow the money on expanding your self-knowledge and understanding with a copy of this.
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
This book could save your life,
By The Axe Man (Hampshire, United Kingdom) - See all my reviews
This review is from: They F*** You Up: How to Survive Family Life (Hardcover)
Well... may be not. It could certainly make you stop and think. While parts of it are debatable, especially in terms of the stuff on genetics and the focus on the first six years, it is in most ways an outstanding book. It is refreshing in that it does not try to be a self-help book. Yet, by avoiding the gimics and nonsense of many self-help books, it presents a superb account of how we as individuals come to be.
Personally I found it very helpful, it gave me a lot of insights into my own insecurities and provides a real anchor point for understanding. There are also some useful exercises throughout the book to do an 'emotional audit.' This book is very well written and cogently summarises a lot of theories, as well as illustrating points with interesting biographies of well known people. This book should have a wide appeal: to anyone who has struggled in relationships, to a student of psychology or related discipline, or to the intersted general reader.
27 of 29 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
An uncomfortable read,
This review is from: They F*** You Up: How to Survive Family Life (Paperback)
It is very important that you read Oliver James' introduction to this book if you choose to buy it. If you've decided to read a book sub-titled 'How to Survive Family Life' the chances are you may already hold at least the foundations of a grudge against your parents. Oliver James makes it clear that he does not wish to make family strife worse. The book's title is inspired by a Philip Larkin poem and readers should know that the poem's ultitmate advice is not to have children. This book ends on a much more upbeat note. In fact throughout the book the author contends that a person's pyschology is moulded by their parents and that this is a much happier position than if personalities, and therefore personality disorders, were all 100% genetic. He maintains that with education and support parents can change for the better. He also believes that people can use analysis of their childhoods to see why they behave the way they do and perhaps understand themselves for the better - and at the very least ensure their own children get an easier ride of things. The book treats the reader, and therefore every reader, as if he/she was a patient and it is somewhat frustrating not to be able to talk back. Interestingly (please note if you are a publisher) I liked it because I didn't feel beneath it in the way I do with many 'self-help' titles.
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