There is a way to play Miracle Mask on any handheld machine, including the DS.


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Initial post: 9 Jan 2013 17:57:34 GMT
S. L. Strong says:
I posted a form of the instructions first under a new serious and genuine review as they clearly needed good advice. It was too late to finish my full version of this post this last night, where more people would see it. This is information I shouldn't have kept to myself. All those broken hearts over Christmas and I did not one thing to help so now I am changing that.

There is a way for Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask to work on all handhelds including the DS and the original Gameboy. The method used to only be privy to the inner sanctum of core club Nintendo members. (You need an accumulative total of 100,000 star points then it unlocks the methods you need to do to play all handheld games on any handheld console and all console games on any console.) Then it got leaked.

First you need the following (aside from the game itself and your handheld of choice):
A Chainsaw forged from sacred metal blessed by 4 holy people. (You may have to go on a quest but any will do)
A Melon
A portrait of Shigeru Miyamoto (including the tools needed to do the instruction below)
A pair of Maracas

To be able to get the game to play on your older handheld you must perform the following ritual:

1: Place the handheld in the middle of a room. You must clear out every piece of furniture. Anything not necessary to the ritual would stop it from working, this includes carpets but not wallpaper or lightbulbs. Make sure you have the Melon, Maracas and the Chainsaw to one side.

2: The portrait of Shigeru Miyamoto must be nailed into the ceiling close to the centre as possible.

3: Once set up, you must leave the room and you must strip down to your underwear and re-enter.

4: First you must shout in praise of every Nintendo game ever, starting with the ones you love the least (you have to love every game for this to work), you have to say for example "I love you Mario Party 7 but I love Golden Sun more" until you get to your favourite game.

5: After saying all that, if done correctly you will hear the Mario coin block sound coming from the Miyamoto's portrait, it will last about 10 seconds. If not, you have to do it again as you've accidentally missed a game, you have to praise all Nintendo games published in all its history- that includes obscure Japanese games too.

6: Once you are successful, you have to take the Maracas, dance around your handheld console and sing the theme from Yoshi's Story (N64).

7: Then take the melon in your bare hands, you must crush the melon with your hands, once the flesh is exposed take only 3 bites then you must smother the rest of the melon all over your body.

8: When you are completely smeared in Melon, you must take the maracas again but this time hit yourself with them while doing the Donkey Kong Rap from Donkey Kong 64.

9: If you have performed the ritual to high enough standards, the spirit of Shigeru Miyamoto will descend from the portrait and unlock the feature enabling you to play any handheld game on your old system. Size of game cartridges is now irrelevant. But...

10: ... Due to loads of people finding out about the ritual during the DS era and exploiting it massively leading to less DS console sales then they secretly hoped, Nintendo has added a new precaution to 3DS games in the form of the little notch (or protrusion like what a certain Amazon.com reviewer called it). The notch is actually part of a magical spell and you have to cut it off with the holy chainsaw. (Sadly the Amazon.com reviewer failed to break spell, they did not have a holy chainsaw nor did the ritual.) Take the holy chainsaw, power it up and hold it above your head, hum the main Legend of Zelda theme, then take the chainsaw down to the 3DS game and cut the notch off. You have to do this for all 3DS games.

There you have it, you'll never have to buy a new handheld console ever again, and you can use your old handheld systems for any handheld game that will ever be made. There might be, like the 3DS games, a new extra ritual added, but someone tends to find it out quickly.

The ritual is the same for consoles as well but you have to repeat the ritual for every individual console. You can't play console games on a handheld and vice versa, Nintendo are greedy money making fat cats after all, out to screw you from your money. Therefore to play all games you need at least one handheld console and one home console.

It is also a bit harder to unlock WiiU games. To be able to play them on the likes of say your NES, you have to have any type of Satoru Iwata's bodily fluids and wipe it over the disk, the NES should then respond to it once slotted in. You can get vials of Iwata's blood on the secret section of the Stars Catalogue for 250 stars each but since not many have collected 100,000 stars that is impossible for many but you could possibly buy some on the likes of ebay, I'm sure its not hard to find some on sale somewhere if you find the right place. It doesn't even need to be just his blood, if you find another way to get any of his fluids (Spit, urine etc) it should work.

And oh yeah before I forget, to use the 2nd screen feature on WiiU and DS/3DS games, a simple mirror should work, just tape a wire to it from the console of your choice. A bit more cluttered than the WiiU controller and a DS console but it saves money and that is what is most important: Wanting to play new games without spending money on evil fascist console makers that release eye melting new machines and also it caters to your specific wants. I could share the way to unlock the feature on your machines that makes them go to make you breakfast in bed every morning if there is demand for it?

I've done it myself, it is fairly easy to do and its changed my life that I don't have to buy any new Nintendo consoles anymore, I didn't actually buy a DS or a 3DS I played everything on my Legend of Zelda GBA SP with an attached mirror for the second screen.

In reply to an earlier post on 6 Feb 2013 13:05:05 GMT
Last edited by the author on 6 Feb 2013 13:05:40 GMT
Absolutely hilarious post, SLS, thank you :-)

In reply to an earlier post on 17 Feb 2013 20:09:20 GMT
DDGH says:
Screw you S. L. Strong!

I hate melons because they don't work with my tongue, so I presumed a grapefruit would work instead (You never actually said "Don't use a grapefruit because it won't work."). It didn't work! I have wasted my money on a the grapefruit, a pair of maracas and a portrait of Shigeru Miyamoto, and it took me a whole 2 hours to get the chainsaw from that quest. I had to miss the X Factor!

This is clearly a moneymaking ploy and stupid business decision from Nintendo, and I won't be buying anymore citrus fruits again.

I'm sure many children were disappointed this Christmas.
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Initial post:  9 Jan 2013
Latest post:  17 Feb 2013

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Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask (Nintendo 3DS)
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