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The Twible [Kindle Edition]

Jana Riess , Leighton Connor
3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)

Print List Price: £12.48
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  • Length: 210 pages (estimated)
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Book Description

It's the Bible, now with 68% more humor and 99% fewer begats!

You've wanted to read the Bible, but it's uber-long and, let's face it, sometimes boring. You're a busy person with stuff to do. You want the Bible,only funnier.

Enter The Twible, which brings you every chapter as tweeted in 140 characters or less, from Genesis to Revelation!

Find out what the Bible says you're supposed to do if a friend starts worshiping another god, your child disrespects you in public, or you break the Sabbath. (The answers to those dilemmas are to stone your friend, stone your child, and stone yourself. In that order.) Learn where Paul swears in the New Testament, and why Jeremiah could benefit from antidepressants.

Inside The Twible you'll find:
-- A tweet for each of the 1,189 chapters of the Bible
-- A summary of every book of the Bible in seven words or less
-- Dozens of informative sidebars (print edition only; not in Kindle)
-- More than 50 original cartoons
-- A glossary telling you who's who in the Bible
-- Unicorns

From start to finish, The Twible brings the Bible to wonderful, wicked, weird life.

"The Twible adapts the Old Testament to the light-hearted quipping familiar in everyday Tweets." -- The Guardian

"The Twible is the most entertaining version of my dad's book I've read in the last two millennia!" -- Jesus Christ

"The Twible is the best example I have ever seen of the reverence of irreverence. Only those who love deeply and securely can bring this kind of humor to the telling of the
family's stories. Don't read it, unless you are prepared to fall in love with them again." -- Phyllis Tickle, author of "The Divine Hours" and "The Great Emergence"

"I wouldn't object if Twibles were in every hotel room. If they're using this
book, I look forward to the next time Christians attempt to proselytwize me." -- Hemant Mehta, The Friendly Atheist blogger; author of "The Young Atheist's Survival Guide"

"Forget about reading the Bible in a year. Now you can read it in an hour, thanks to
the subversive, somewhat disturbed, mind of Jana Riess." -- Peter Enns, author of "Genesis for Normal People"

"The perfect (surreptitious) iPad or Tablet companion for draggy Sunday (or Saturday) morning services. Caution: Not to be used for congregational Scripture reading."
-- Mark I. Pinsky, author of "The Gospel According to the Simpsons"

"Whatever you think of Twitter, there can be no speedier or funnier
way to read through the Bible than with Riess's Twible providing spot-on interpretation chapter by chapter. On a jet stream of solid scholarship, it'll keep you thinking long after the hashtags have burned away." -- Kristin Swenson, author of "Bible Babel: Making Sense of the Most Talked-about Book of All Time"

"The Twible" is an indelible book that reads like an oddly religious comedy but has the impact of a brilliant jingle that sticks in your brain to the point of madness. Read it and drive yourself pleasantly nuts." -- Frank Schaeffer, author of "And God Said, Billy!"

"This is brilliant stuff; hilariously accurate summaries of complex material. Riess is a very funny, charmingly masterful guide." -- Debbie Blue, pastor; author of "Consider the Birds: A Provocative Guide to the Birds of the Bible"

"This is absolutely the funniest and most fun Bible translation ever. Yet, throughout the ensuing hilarity there is a wisdom here that challenges and provokes. -- Steven L. Peck, author of "A Short Stay in Hell" and "The Scholar of Moab"

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Product Description

About the Author

Jana Riess blogs for Religion News Service and is the author of many books, including Flunking Sainthood: A Year of Breaking the Sabbath, Forgetting to Pray, and Still Loving My Neighbor, named by Publishers Weekly as one of the top ten religion books of 2011. She has a Master of Divinity degree from Princeton Theological Seminary and a Ph.D. from Columbia University. She wonders if maybe The Twible is the book that will guarantee her room reservation in hell.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 3658 KB
  • Print Length: 210 pages
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #754,015 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars its just great! 10 Sept. 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
content is a bit 'hit and miss' by chapter - when it works, its just great!
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.1 out of 5 stars  35 reviews
19 of 19 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Reading and understanding the Bible, one tweet at a time 9 Nov. 2013
By josiahgibbs - Published on
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Once you've read Jana Riess's Twible, you may never read God's Bible the same way again ... which is to say, you might actually pick up the Bible to do more than read the Nativity at Christmas or to proof-text occasional verses for Sunday School.

For the past year or two the author has been tweeting the Bible on Twitter, one biblical chapter per day, each summarized in 140 characters or less. The tweets are funny, contemporary, often irreverent, sometimes a wee bit profane but never sacrilegious, and you may find yourself saying, "No! It doesn't say that!" before checking your own Bible and discovering that yes, your Bible does say that, sort of, without the off-kilter twist that the Twible gives it.

Some samples:

-- Genesis 7: "Weather alert! G gives Noah 1 week eviction notice: "Take 7 pairs of each clean animal in Ark to avoid flood. Oh, and BYO Renuzit."

-- Numbers 29: Most of this chapter is about what G wants you to cook for him during the High Holy Days. Hostess tip: He's totally not a vegetarian.

-- 1 King 21: Queen Jezebel uses eminent domain to seize a vineyard, then has the owner stoned. Don't worry, though. She'll soon be Pupperoni.

-- Psalm 23: G's my shepherd. He lets me nap in green pastures. He protects me from the wolves. Sometimes it rocks to be a sheep, y'know?

If even the Twible were too much to read, you could still get a Cliff Notes glimpse of the Bible from the tweeted book overviews:

-- 2 Chronicles: Like 2 Kings, but with northern kings and history removed. This is SOUTHERN history, y'all.

-- Nahum: Death to Nineveh. Doom to Nineveh. Mayhem to Nineveh. Babylon will crush it ... and we bought front-row seats! #gloating

-- Philippians: It's funny how Paul can only write kind, cheerful letters when he's in jail and needs people to bring him food.

Some features new to the printed book that we haven't seen by following the Twible online:

-- Something like 50 cartoons. As if the text weren't funny and/or pointed enough, the cartoons go one step farther, sometimes one click more outrageous

-- Tiny marginal sketches symbolic of each book. Some are obvious - sheep for Psalms, a crown of thorns for Matthew - and others will cause you to think and feel: a "cause" ribbon for Job; a harp, crown, and scales of justice stuffed into a packing box for 2 Chronicles.

-- One-page (say, 200-250 word) essays explaining in a little more coherent - but still humorous - fashion than a tweet can convey what is happening at such-and-such a point. You'll learn why Job's downer friends are still representative of goodness; how to find useful wisdom in Proverbs; that puzzling passages are sometimes such cleaned-up euphemisms for the original Hebrew crudity that they have lost all meaning; and what's going on in the nearly unfathomable Book of Revelation.

-- An appendix of Biblical characters and their abbreviated Twible names.

-- An introduction concerning how and why the author wrote the Twible, and what she's learned from the process.

Don't think that the Twible is only a joke; certainly don't think that it is disrespectful or mocking. It can be profound. The best teachers are those who understand their material so well that they can recast strange and difficult concepts into layman's terms for a general audience to appreciate. Jana Riess is often that teacher. You won't know and understand the scriptures without actually studying them, but you'll sense that she has caught the essential elements of each part of the Bible, then served it to you in a form delightful to read and impossible to forget.
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Buy It for the Humor, Read It for the Insights 18 Nov. 2013
By Michael Austin - Published on
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
The Twible is a grand experiment of sorts. Over a period of more than three years, Jana Riess read the entire Bible and reduced every one of its chapters to a 140 word Twitter post. There was no doubt that this was going to be funny, but there are several kinds of funny that it could have been. It could very easily have descended into a kind of burlesque mockery where the strangeness and incomprehensibility of much of the text became the joke. But the Twible is much better than that.

Reducing things by 95% while keeping some recognizable semblance of the original is actually kind of hard. It requires one to understand the source material extremely well. And, ultimately, this is why the Twible succeeds: Jana Riess understands the Bible very well. Her extreme redactions are funny, but they aren't JUST funny They also almost always get to something crucial about the text that often gets lost in all the words. Her versions of some of the hardest books of the Bible--Leviticus, Isaiah, Revelation--contain gems of insight that have actually changed the ways that I understand the original texts.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic. 6 Jan. 2014
By Gloria A, - Published on
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I was pretty thrilled to discover this gem of a book. I use it in ministry with teens and adults as a way to get them to think differently about scripture. The author is sharp-witted and just plain smart - I appreciate how she tells it like it is, and adds her humor. She knows biblical history, but she also makes it really fun. I don't recommend this for people with no sense of humor, or people who can't loosen up. But for people who are comfortable enough with their faith to take a joke, this is fabulous. Love it!!
17 of 23 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Witty but inappropriate 18 Dec. 2013
By Autumn Biedermann - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition
I really wanted to like this book. I work at a church and one of my roles is to write our social media posts. Ms. Riess is very witty and it takes effort and talent to condense a chapter of the Bible into a tweet.

While I'm sure God has a sense of humor and isn't offended when we find humor in the Bible, I don't believe it is okay to malign His character. When you describe God or "G" as Ms. Riess calls Him (everyone has a nickname to fit 140 characters) as obsessive compulsive, bi-polar and having multiple personalities, I think you have gone too far.

We were going to give this to our 17 year old son, but as we read through it we didn't feel it okay with presenting this as a representation of the Bible. You may be amused by this book and enjoy it; my husband and I found some things quite funny. But humor at the cost of God's character is not okay with me. The Bible is full of colorful characters, with serious character flaws and if it were made into a weekly series, HBO or Showtime would be way more likely than Disney to pick it up. I'm not afraid of the gritty stories, but not the way Ms. Riess interprets them.

I hope this helps. If you are just looking to be amused, this will do it and it may even pique your curiosity about the Bible. If you want something this is witty and succinct but true to the nature of God, avoid this book.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars funny but also includes much insight 25 April 2014
By Barbara Fox - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
The author translates each book of the Bible (chapter and verse!) into tweets. Although it is certainly funny (she takes great sarcastic aim at everyone, esp. God, who she calls G), you also get a surprising amount of insight into the Bible's mixture of sin, stupidity, suffering and redemption. The curious will enjoy it, completists may be moved to read previously unknown books, and the truly rigid or humorless should stay away.
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