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By The Time You Read This I'll Be Bread: 100 Two Sentence Stories [Kindle Edition]

Mathew Ferguson
3.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)

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  • Two Sentence Stories
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Book Description

Big Stories in Two Little Sentences.

What started as a writing exercise exploded into an obsession, grew into a website and then took over and successfully ran a small chain of English-themed catapult restaurants for a number of years.

Or something like that.

It's Flash Fiction at its finest. Dark, happy, weird ... brief little adventures into another place.

Come read something short and exciting - like a love letter tattooed on a Smurf.


Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 113 KB
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004AM5E78
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 3.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #638,211 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

Hurro peoples!

I've been a writer and editor since 2003 when I made my first professional sale adapting Pinocchio for Penguin Books. I was paid the grand total of $0.00 - woo hoo!

I then took on some other freelance writing work for which I earned more zero until I became an editor and writer for Funtastic Publishing in 2004. I then wrote *everything*.

Disney colouring books, storybooks, Pixar stuff, Warner Bros, Universal Studios, sticker books, educational series, non-fiction books, sales sheets, birthday invitations ...

It was great fun but there is a limit to how many Princess stories a man can write before he starts to lose it. Live happily ever after? Not this time, Princess.

So I dove into freelancing and worked all over the place. Kids flying British Airways and Qantas get activity/story books that I wrote to keep them entertained. Mimes being sent into war zones read comforting words from me. You may even find yourself gripped by some packaging text on a hairdryer.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars Ironic, I was eating a sandwich when I read this 21 Mar. 2013
By Redders
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
It's a collection of 100, two-sentence stories; the book takes only ten minutes to read so you're not expecting it to change your life.
There were a couple of corkers in there that I loved (worth the time over a lunch break just for them) but most of the stories I was left just thinking, `oh'. I'm not sure if I've got a stunted sense of humour or if maybe they weren't really meant to be funny.

This was a free kindle download so what am I complaining about?
Just shows that even if something is for nothing, people will grumble!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Would have preferred a one-liner! 27 Aug. 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
The author of this creation uses just two sentences to convey his wit.

In the end, I'm sad to say, it was often telegraphed, clumsy and s...silly!
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3.0 out of 5 stars A bit disappointing 19 Nov. 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I was expecting this to be a lot funnier or maybe thought provoking than I found it to be. I can only remember actually laughing at 1 of the "stories" but maybe it just isn't my sense of humour.

Glad I got it for free. I would definitely read the sample first to see if it is your cup of tea before buying.
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2.0 out of 5 stars oh deary deary me 5 April 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
ok - what can you expect from 2-sentence stories. Not a lot so I shouldn't be disappointed, right??
I should have followed my first impression and "left it on the shelf" but morbid curiosity got the better of me. Wish I hadn't - I'll never get that time back now. Gutted!
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1.0 out of 5 stars Underwhelmed 23 Aug. 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I downloaded this thinking it sounded a bit different and quirky. I was very disappointed. It was far from clever. It was more lke a book of bad jokes and punch lines than the 'two line stories' it promised.
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