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1: The Teenage Years: The Teenage Years (Dark Lord) [Kindle Edition]

Jamie Thomson
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (67 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy doesn't help.

And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands... Along the way he faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists); and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do what he wants them to.

Dirk makes friends with the son of his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl, Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably, not everything goes to plan... But that's for book 2.

Roald Dahl Funny Prize winner, 2012.

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Product Description


A parody of fantasy media that will appeal to anyone who likes a laugh. (The Sunday Times' 100 Best Children's Books) (The Sunday Times)

Dark Lord is a wonderfully absurd take on beings from another planet (Michael Rosen, Roald Dahl Funny Prize judge)

Very funny, very silly... brilliant concept. (Bookseller)

One of the most original children's books of the year. (Daily Express)

"CHILDREN'S BOOK OF THE WEEK" This funny book in the Fabled Lands series is based on an ingenious idea. (Sunday Times)

Funny, utterly silly and enjoyable book, which lots of young readers will love. (Bookbag)

Wonderfully original, completely mad. (Lovereading)

It's funny-clever as well as funny-silly (Mel Giedroyc, Roald Dahl Funny Prize Judge 2012)

A perfect novel for computer games-obsessed boys. (Sunday Telegraph)

Laugh-out-loud funny and often touching. (Queens Park Books)

Amazing, fantastic... great to read. (Skye Turnbull- 9 year old reviewer)

Hilarious. (Chicklish)

This is hilarious, and is set to have us inferior puny humans laughing out loud... It really is a work of 'evil genius'. (

Perfect deadpan humor... wickedly funny, brilliantly told stuff, and you'll never have more fun cheering for evil. (

Comic fantasy which won this year's Roald Dahl Funny Prize. (Sunday Express)

There are lashings of fantasy and adventure but what makes Dark Lord tick is the humour. * * * * (Daily Telegraph)

A funny, whacky, page-turning tale. (Good Book Guide)

Laugh out loud funny and entertaining, with a surprisingly endearing central character: great fun. (East Anglian Daily Times)

Book Description

Winner of the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize!

"I will tell you all my secrets. But then of course I'm going to have to kill you..."

Product details

More About the Author

Winner of the Roald Dahl 2012 Funny Prize!

Here's the little author biography for my latest series, Dark Lord: the Teenage Years, and Dark Lord: A Fiend in Need:

'Jamie Thomson is the minion and slave of the Dark Lord, Dirk Lloyd. Jamie has been writing books, comics and computer games for his Dark Master for many years now. He lives in the dungeons below his Master's Iron Tower, chained to a desk, where he spends every day writing for his overlord. Or else.'

The Dark Lord series is a comedic fantasy about a Dark Lord trapped in the body of a human boy here in modern day earth. Bit like my own life, really. The first book, Dark Lord: the Teenage Years has won the Roald Dahl Funny Prize 2012, which is awesomely cool!

If you want to know more about me, you can check out my Wikipedia entry:

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful
By Pollo
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I enjoyed this book more than most novels I've read for ages (apart from Thomson's Corvus: Oath of Vengeance (Fury of the Vikings), that is). It's fantastic fun for teenagers, goths, vampires and orcs of all ages. I literally couldn't put it down. (I mean, I tried, but it wouldn't let me.) How do you create a convincing character out of an evil fantasy warlord trapped in the body of a teenage boy? No idea, but in Jamie Thomson's dextrous hands this impossible concept springs to life (and how!). Dirk, his friends Christopher, Sooz and Sal, the rival psychotherapists Randle and Wings and the tyrannical headmaster Grousammer (from the German "grausamer", meaning "cruel", "brutal", "barbarous" - cf. English "gruesome"?) - are unique and compelling creations. You really want to spend your time in their company. In fact, I want to spend more time in their company, NOW. WHY do I have to wait until next March for Volume 2 (the brilliantly-titled A Fiend in Need (Dark Lord))? It's just NOT FAIR...
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Mwa ha hah! 27 Sept. 2011
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
High concept novels are ten a penny these days, but it's extremely rare to find one as brilliantly written as this. In the hands of a lesser author this would still be an amusing fish-out-of-water yarn, but Jamie Thomson makes it crackle with mad energy, bags of personality, and such a bravura onslaught of laugh-out-loud humour that readers will be gasping for breath. You'll root for the Lord of All Evil as he suffers the indignity of being trapped in our world without his powers (well, without most of his powers) as a 13-year-old schoolboy. By the end of the book you'll be longing for further adventures of Dirk and his friends (sorry, lackeys) Sooz and Christopher - and we don't have long to wait as the next book is due in March. Dark Lord cries out to be a TV show or movie, so it comes as no surprise that the series has already been optioned by NBC Universal. All hail the Great Dirk!
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The teenage years (dark lord) 1 Nov. 2011
Loved fantasy when I was a kid so was interested in this book for my teenage daughter when it was the Sunday Times Children's book of the week. I flicked through and started reading. Loved the concept, the characters and the humour. Though it is set in modern days it took me back to the fantasy books that got me hooked. Daughter half way through and wants book 2 & 3. It must be good , she's put Gossip Girl down.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Bring Back Derek The Troll 20 Dec. 2011
Very few books manage to successfully transcend the gulf between generations, to be enjoyed by young and old alike. However the sharp humour that underpins this story, most of it centred around the main character trying to cope without his magical abilities whilst dealing with newly forming emotions, makes this a cut above most of its ilk. Dirk dismissively formulating cricket stratagems in particular had me sniggering to myself. The book deserves to reach a wide audience and I look forward to reading the sequel. They will make excellent presents indeed for the goblin spawn of my comrades and cronies.

I only stumbled across The Dark Lord book on a nostalgic internet browse. The more wizened amongst you may remember the Way Of The Tiger and Falcon Gamebook series that the author co-wrote in the mid 80's. They still have pride of place in my book collection, being more tightly written and interestingly themed than the better known Fighting Fantasy and Lone Wolf series of the time. Whilst they were a different writing style to the Dark Lord book, aimed more at young adults than older children, I cannot recommend these enough to anyone wanting to explore the authors older works.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Keep this for yourself! 15 Oct. 2011
I bought this to read with my class - I am a teacher. In the end I read it myself in one day and a night it was so much fun and engrossing. This will be a great teen book and appeal to kids with a sense of humour as well as reflecting aspects of school life. However I urge you to keep the book for yourself as it is so much fun - ironic, dark and amusingly written - despite the evilness of Dirk you can't help but like him. Roll on the next book which I'll keep for myself - don't let the kids have it!!!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars amazing, hilarious, whats more,you will love it 11 Oct. 2014
Format:Kindle Edition
this book is about a dark lord(dirk) from a world called the darklands. while he is at war in his world, his arch enemy, the white wizard, Hasburadan the pure casts a spell which sends him down to earth and Dirks soul inhabits a 13 year old school boy.

when he reaches earth a social worker gets him into a family called the Purejoes. the family had a son called christopher and dirk befriends him aswell a girl at his school. they all try
to get dirk back to his world.the first time the school cricket pavillon burns down. and the second time it goes horribly wrong.

this book is a must read for 10-12+ year olds.

Oscar Brod aged 10
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars funny mwah-ha-ha... 12 Oct. 2011
Hellishly funny and rocks on many levels. Kicks Wimpy Kid bottom with a great story, squealing dark humour and, at heart, a really quite lovely, if unlikely, hero in Dirk lloyd.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read - Will make you chuckle 1 Nov. 2011
By T1G
This is such a neat idea - an evil dark lord is exiled to earth in the body of a 13 year old kid. I bought it for my daughter, thought I'd better check it out by reading a few chapters myself, and then got hooked! I read the whole thing myself in a day. The basic premise is just such a great setting for loads of madcap adventure and whacky laughs and it works for adults just as much as it does for kids. Anyway, reluctantly, I've had to pass it on to my daughter. She's enjoying it too! We can't wait for the sequel. Well done the author, or should I say his dark master, Dirk Lloyd?
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent
Brilliant book; amusing and engaging
Published 1 month ago by Hawk
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Published 3 months ago by zero
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent buy!
I bought these two books for my son who devours books and he loved them so much he has been bugging me to buy more (I don't think there are any more) and was so enthusiastic he has... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Eternal Nomad
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book (according to an 11 year old!!)
My daughter thinks this series of book is great, personally I don't get it, but as they are not written for me, who am i to argue????
Published 4 months ago by nikki
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Great and fast service, value for money
Published 6 months ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Dark Lord: The Teenage Years, reviewed by Molly
Here's a review by my daughter, Molly, aged 10

My review of Dark Lord the teenage years, By Molly Wensley

When I first saw this book, I wasn’t sure it looked... Read more
Published 7 months ago by Andrew Wensley
5.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining book
Quick delivery. Son loved the book.
Published 9 months ago by Celine
5.0 out of 5 stars Great for a bedtime story
I bought this for my son (he was 10 at the time) and both he & I loved it. It's a great read and an even better bedtime story. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars The Lord of Books
This is on the most quirky books EVER! I, an inferior human to the Dark Lord was absolutely addicted to this funny book. Read more
Published 11 months ago by JammyDodgers
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
i loved this book best book i ever read aside from the third dark lord book best book EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Published 12 months ago by Brian Luse
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