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The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible

4 customer reviews

£14.95 FREE Delivery in the UK. In stock. Dispatched from and sold by Amazon. Gift-wrap available.

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Product details

  • Paperback: 282 pages
  • Publisher: Elite Communications LLC (4 April 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0977984575
  • ISBN-13: 978-0977984572
  • Product Dimensions: 15.2 x 1.6 x 22.9 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 136,484 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

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Product Description

About the Author

Hi there! Dr Ali Binazir here, and I'm thrilled you're paying a visit. Relevant credentials:
--I've got a bachelor's degree from Harvard College. This means I can put two thoughts together and express them in a way you understand. More important, I also know how smart people (i.e. you) think and behave since I've been around a lot of them.
-- I have an M.D. from the University of California San Diego School of Medicine. This is where I learned how to diagnose and treat problems, including those relating to the human mind.
-- I have an M.Phil. from Cambridge University and was also a former consultant at McKinsey & Company. That's more training on how to diagnose & fix problems.
-- I'm a certified clinical hypnotherapist. This means after figuring out what someone's doing wrong, I have tools to actually change their behavior.

Much more important than all of that: I've been on hundreds (hundreds!) of dates. And I've had thousands (thousands!) of men write to me for the past six years, telling me what turns them on (and off) about women. Translation: I know how guys think and what they like. And in clear, practical terms, I can teach how you can be the thing they like -- even love.

I'm committed to helping you become the most deliriously happy and fulfilled version of you, and am glad to be of service.

Some topics of interest that I cover in The Tao of Dating:

*The dilemma of the career-oriented woman
*How to embrace your inner goddess
*Why men are so damn horny
*Why you need to kill the prince
*The perfect guy vs. the perfect guy for you
*The big secret about how men relate to female beauty
*Your secret gift as a woman
*Why good women get involved (and stay) in bad relationships
*How to spot bad boys
*How to love your body now
*Thirteen places to meet great men
*Why long-distance relationships suck
*Internet dating: perils and opportunities
*Meeting men: should you initiate or not?
*Fail-safe ways to make men approach you
*The Three-Man plan
*Rejection-Proofing yourself
*Use your Unfair Advantage
*The Magic Question
*How to be irresistible
*The Passion Formula
*3 ways to make a man fall in love with you
*What drives men away
*Getting the second date
*The right time to have sex with a man
*How to keep a man worth keeping


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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Yulia on 27 Jun. 2012
Format: Kindle Edition
I have shoveled lots of books on finding the One in my life, but Dr. Ali's book "The Tao of Dating" was exactly what I was looking for - the distillation of numerous teachings, ideas and concepts with the very personal and loving touch of the author. Precise, logical, funny and easy to read, it's a small treasure anyone can afford.
Try and read this book as you try on a new gorgeous dress in front of a mirror. It's still you, but another you - a fully realized Goddess!
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By Jie on 17 Jan. 2015
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is great if you stuck in the situation feeling desperate and not knowing what you've done wrong that non of your relationship last. Instead of telling you how to get a guy, it changes your way of dealing with relationships. Teach you to love yourself and live your own life. When everything is going well, and you are comfortable with yourself, love will come find you. It definitely works for me. As after this book, I never had one guy walk out from my life. They stay and I choose. I'm in a happy relationship now, this was one of the books that really helped me to understand better.
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By lynne playle on 4 July 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
interesting reading , I like getting the monthly email tips , but really not much I haven't heard before . If your young then this would be helpful , the rest of us more mature women probably already know this stuff
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful By caro on 2 May 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book made me rethink dating and relationships, it was also very funny. Whilst it has spiritual over tones its also down to earth and straight to the point. It has helped me understand what may have gone wrong in the past and I am already enjoying put the principles into practice, giving into my yin and looking for a man as opposed to a boy!
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: 342 reviews
109 of 112 people found the following review helpful
Everything you could ever want or be, you already have and are 12 May 2012
By Amazon Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I loved the Tao of Dating: the Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistable. I've read a lot of relationship books but this one seemed to resonate with me the most. It's kind of hard to describe what it is about this book that makes you feel so special, so sensual, so...womanly. It's about harnessing the inner goddess, the one who is downplayed because in our society we have to be strong and stand on our own, and we don't need a man! But...we still want one. It's hard to find the balance between the yin(feminine) and the yang(masculine) when our yin is muted so much. It's time to remember what it means to be a woman and stop worrying how to get a man. They will come. Men want women. Period. Stop caring so much. The idea of being detached and expecting no outcome was incredibly uplifting to me. Imagine the freedom of not having to worry what a man thinks of you...who cares! This book shows you a new perspective on how to look at these situations. For instance, say someone doesn't like champagne, that doesn't mean that champagne is bad, maybe it's just not for them. This approach will make it easier, not to mention you will learn how to stop feeling rejected. You can let go of the striving to be more, you already are everything you want! A metaphor from the book that I truly enjoyed-(paraphrased)...A sapling of great redwood is still a redwood, even when it is just a sapling. At every point of its journey, it is a great redwood, it just keeps growing.

One aspect of this book that I really loved was the thought that I shouldn't ask for something because it affirms that it is missing in my life. Replace desire with gratitude. Instead of focusing on the fact that I don't have a good man, car, etc...I am thankful for what I have and I seek to serve others. The world, in turn will seek to serve me. I am a server and I have been practicing this when I get bad tips. I am grateful that I have more money than I did when I came in, and I am continuously repeating to myself that I am grateful for the abundance in my life. It makes the bad tippers not matter as much and the good tips reaffirm the abundance. I have been making a lot more money recently! I also have been practicing the embodiment of characteristics of femininity. I mostly focus on feeling radiant and everyone I work with has been saying that I have a glow about me that wasn't there before! It's amazing.
I really liked the idea that pain is wishing the world is different than it is. Now I understand the Buddhist thought that desire leads to suffering. Focusing on the positive brings more of it your way, if you focus on negativity, you will get negativity. "When you have gratitude for something, you are accepting its presence into your life and affirming it to the world. In return, the world will do the same and manifest the object in your life."

So now, I am thankful for all of the witty, creative, handsome amazing men in my life!

You will also learn 5 behaviors that send men running, as well as ways to keep them around. One of my favorite thoughts from the book- "Women control the depth of the relationship, men control the direction." Stop directing ladies! Let men be men! You be a lady! Enjoy your wonderful sensual self and others will follow.
82 of 88 people found the following review helpful
Best dating book ever 30 Oct. 2011
By Ama Su Nilia - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I have read many books about relationships and dating, but the Tao of Dating is one of a kind, so different and mind-blowing in its common sense and simplicity that is impossible to put it down once you start reading. To be honest, I can't understand why there aren't 200 reviews instead of the poor thirty something that can be found here.

It is by chance that I came through the Tao of Dating and I purchased it. One of those days that you feel like pressing too often the "buy with one-click" button for kindle, or any online shopping button, just because it is, well, one click. I am not a religious person at all or into new age mumbo-jumbo, so this would have never been, in theory, my first option nor the book I was looking for. Moreover, being as rational as I am, I thought, jeez just 35 reviews is not much for a dating book!

But, alas, here I am, so very much impressed and affected by this book. In fact, the book has already produced a mental shift in me, an internal one. This is so because it makes sense, and most importantly, empowers me as a woman.

I love the fact that the book is written by a man who loves and respects women, clever women specially, and understands we are wired differently from other women. Besides, most of the NLP exercises he proposes are excellent, very fulfilling and enjoyable per se, so even if they don't help us to find a man, they will still be cool to do. The sort of exercise that I/you could do to get rid of stress, for example.

The main difference between this book and most of the dating literature out there is that The Tao of Dating goes inside our head and your heart and helps you to unlock those doors that, without we knowing, we alone have locked. If they were unlocked, more good men would be approaching us and, we would see more of them immediately approaching.

Most clever career/intellectual women, the ones still single, are emotionally autistic. I have always recognised that and asked myself, where are the clues? How do I send clues? How do I read clues from/to men? Why despite my talent, mystique and femininity I am single? Why aren't a bunch of hot men at my feet? This book helps you to understand yourself/myself better and to change within, to bring the best of us, still being us, Mary, Josephine, Alissa or whomever you are.

This is the book that any good woman, with brains (or without) should read because, no matter what, it will produce a better version of yourself. To me, just that, is priceless.
64 of 68 people found the following review helpful
for all women, however smart.... 2 May 2010
By Ruth - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
Dr Ali's style is no nonsense, but gentle - like a kind brother or friend. The book uses both a scientific and spiritual approach. There are lots of good practical suggestions - for example on where to meet potential dates, and how to spot men who ultimately won't be able to measure up but also there is the spiritual Tao side which helps one to let go a little and trust in the abundance of the universe.
I thought the book had two main themes - one is to be the best version of yourself you can be for your own sake and working towards that. The other is the insight into the way men think and what is important to them and appreciate it is different from women, but no less valid. Knowing what matters to them helps you interact differently and more successfully - and to be prepared if things don't go quite as you hoped.
Like one of the other reviewers I don't fit into the professional, IQ off the chart model - but the advice and ideas put forward by Dr Ali will apply to all sorts of women. The book has helped me to understand how important it is to be myself and that being authentic is so much more attractive.
There's lots of great information in the book, and I have read it through more than once - in fact writing this has reminded me of so many good bits that I'm going to read it all again.
79 of 87 people found the following review helpful
SPECIFIC TIPS THAT WORKED FOR ME, NO FLUFF 29 April 2010
By dragonfliez - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
Here's an example of one of the best things I learned from Alex that got AMAZING and IMMEDIATE results from men I actually wanted!

First, I have to tell you that I despite beautiful, smart, successful, well off, fun, funny, and sexy, (and I'm NOT exaggerating or just being positive here), I found myself constanty frustrated to no end with only men I didn't want pursuing me and treating me like I wanted to be treated, but no interest, no pursuit from the ones I wanted!

I felt dating was hopeless. I was always irritated with the ones pursuing me, wishing "now why can't so-and-so, who I actually WANT, treat me like this???" I had read all of Paige Parker's e-books and listened to all of Christian Carter's CD books (both excellent companions to Dr. Benazir's work, but no substitute!) and found that what Ali had to say in much more succinct terms was not only the missing piece, but the main meat of what all the others were trying to say in their dozens of more expensive products.

Everything changed for me because of a few things I absorbed from Ali's material. (One of these things that I reiterated as my own belief, had the man of my dreams "joking" about eloping just two weeks into it!)

THE FIVE THINGS A GODDESS GIVES A MAN by Dr. Ali Benazir

1. Give him his Freedom

2. Give him your Faith

3. Give him your Bond (be there for him, be reliable, show up on time, do as you say, be a true partner)

4. Give him your Praise

5. Give him your Grace (your forgiveness)
23 of 24 people found the following review helpful
Read this before your next first date 20 April 2011
By KitchenKaos - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I received this book yesterday at 4pm and had finished it - complete with notes in the margins, underlines all over the place, and dog-eared corners - by 8pm. If I'd only read this book a month ago, I could have saved myself SO much trouble! When I say that you should read this book before your next first date, I'm not kidding.

It's a little bit like the Player's Bible for women, minus the yucky connotations of conquest for the sake of conquest. And it isn't even that the author is telling you brand new things, it is that it is so easy to focus on what you think you need and what your girlfriends are telling you is true. This book cuts through all that surface stuff that confuses the situation and gets down to what is going to help you navigate the world of dating.

In an on-line marketplace that offers a ton of men trying to capitalize on women's insecurities and fears by telling a woman how to manage herself through dating (anyone else see Steven Colbert point out that if you want to make a lot of money, invent something new for a woman to be insecure about?), this book stands out for its gentle approach, its emphasis on the positive, the way it dovetails / advocates with a whole-life approach to owning your inner Goddess, and operating from your strengths not your fears. Adding to the author's credibility is the fact that he freely quotes and references others - Don Ruiz from the Four Agreements and John Gottman, one of the leading researchers on what makes a good marriage. You really do have to read the right books to write the right book, and the author has clearly done so.

Commanding the right relationship is in your control. If all the advice from your girlfriends and your internal insecurities have completely obscured the basics, get this book and by all means, read it before your next interaction with a romantic prospect.
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