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TOP 500 REVIEWERon 25 September 2014
This book is written, not by a psychologist or psychiatrist, but by someone who has been through the horrible experience of victimisation by a psychopath. She writes beautifully and, I think, with profound insight, using her own journey to healing to help others facing the same issues. At the end of the book, she gives a list of recommended books, organisations and websites. Thankfully, I have never been the victim of a psychopath, but I have encountered a seriously evil one and seen something of the havoc and devastation he has caused and I am looking for insight and means to help his victim - and to avoid becoming another victim myself. I found this book unputdownable. It made me think deeply and showed me a path to point out to my friend. It also gave me insights regarding other abusive situations I've encountered. Thank you, HealingJourney!
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on 29 January 2015
I am so thankful to have found and read this book which without doubt has hugely contributed to my recovery from the devastating grief and trauma of having experienced a 'relationship' with a psychopathic narcissist.

Tenderly written, the author writes from her own experiences and shares the truths she has learnt along the way to her own recovery. The stages progress are explained clearly and the advice is given with a loving touch that supports the reader throughout.

If you have experienced the traumatic fall out of a toxic and mentally abusive entaglement with someone with a personality disorder reading this book will help you find your way through the dark days and towards the light that is there for you.

Than you. My life is becoming mine again. X
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on 24 November 2015
I have read this & its helped me realise my ex husband was abusive towards me. And this book describes everything that i am feeling. How when your living in it you don't see it. Well worth a read it helped me to open my eyes to what did happen & its exactly like this book, but they convince you that its you.
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on 6 August 2015
Excellent . A must for anyone who has ever encountered an evil partner
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on 24 February 2015
This is a well-written self published book.Its an account of a quest,there are only a small number of basic stories people can tell to themselves and the world,the plots derive from the human psyche,Jung called the themes archetypes-the theme of the Quest is predictable it has a generic rhythm...

(1) Crisis,terrible ordeal hero encounters monstrous figure of evil.
(2) Overcoming the monster,overthrowing the darkness.
(3) Hero receives help succor & guidance is able to liberate the treasure.
(4) There is a renewal of life centred around a new more secure base.

At one point during the author's quest the psychopath conveniently informs the author that he is a monster and she is a total innocent.

At the end of the book the author brings in another story the Ugly Duckling-this has the rags to riches plot...humble heroine is transformed from an undeveloped state into splendour.The truths she learnt consisted of the following... you were not stupid you were innocent,its ok to feel insecure and vulnerable and facing the pain of being exploited by a psychopath sets you free.There is no exploration of the unconscious energies that brought the two of them together the experience is reduced to an airy fairy collision of the sacred with the profane type narrative. The tone of her writing is pleasant,gentle and quasi spiritual,I like new agey woo but this didn't really speak to me because there was no depth to it.

This author has invested in an entirely positive image of her parents-she writes [page 58]
"What I did not realize then was that the world is teeming with human predators...I was naive I was not aware of the complex nature of humanity I was missing important information because I was blessed to have loving parents who never lied to me and never abused me"

Really? they never lied to her and they never abused her, I sense denial in this statement because 'every' family,just like every individual,has a Shadow,a dark repressed side.I think perhaps the reality is she was in the habit of using adaptive betrayal blindness due to childhood betrayal....(Freyd, 2003)"The child may become blind to betrayals and fail to identify the experience as abusive. Such betrayal blindness or unawareness of abuse has adaptive value in that it maintains the attachment between child and caregiver such that the child can continue trusting and depending on the caregiver". Betrayal blindness is a state of mind in which you choose to keep a secret from your self. You lie to your self & turn a blind eye to questionable actions & behaviour. You don't allow yourself to look at what's actually happening. If a child uses this as a survival strategy in order to maintain an attachment relationship with a parent it is inevitable they will bring that learnt behaviour into their adult romantic attachments.

Romantic relationships are all about re-enacting childhood so if you get involved with someone and let them get close its for a reason,such relationships can help people heal their psychological wounds by way of raising their consciousness,but in order to take down a defence mechanism like denial a person first has to become aware that they are using it.

Perhaps at some deep and unspoken-of level, despite her horror of being in a relationship with the psychopath, she got some primal gratification, and somehow the psychopath picked up on it,sensing the needy little child in her that was on a healing mission-when someone really wants to heal something, the universe usually conspires to make it happen.The author acknowledges that this was a healing relationship of sorts & she uses the pseudonym Healing Journey.

The relationship with the psychopath was a traumatic experience that reconnected her with her inner guidance which increased her feelings of self love ,traumatic events often have the effect of putting people back in touch with the truth of who they are and no doubt some increase in self awareness has occurred but I don't really think it runs that deep because the writing is very much focused on a victim paradigm - its poetic and erudite but its also a little bit whiny and filled with victim thinking.

Although the author received a wake up call and altered her perceptions I didn't feel the real (more complex) lesson had been learned.Blame can be very therapeutic and appropriate but staying in the victim role for an overly prolonged period of time keeps the person in the role of child and in the childlike fantasy that the world is made up of monsters and angels.
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on 3 January 2016
I've been able to make sense of the pain that I'm going through, and gain hope that I can re-find my innate, perfect qualities that I thought my abuser had removed thanks to this book. It's also offered a 'map' to help me find my way forward.
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on 21 October 2014
A wonderful little book. Recommended highly to those who gave their hearts to an antisocial personality, and were then discarded.
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on 19 May 2016
not a bad book on this subject , although I found it hard to understand in places. the writer has a good depth of knowledge about this ailment.
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on 12 September 2014
Easily the best book I've read on this very sad and difficult subject. Can't thank the author enough for sharing and caring. Yes, there are more good people in the world than damaged souls and it is important to never forget this in one's journey of recovery, no matter how long it takes.
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on 19 May 2016
An inspiring read. Recovery is possible with many valuable lessons to be learnt.
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