- Hardcover: 224 pages
- Publisher: ReganBooks (Oct 2004)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 0060732466
- ISBN-13: 978-0060732462
- Product Dimensions: 20.6 x 15.7 x 2.5 cm
- Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (1 customer review)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,157,132 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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His was first. In my ass. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Excerpt | Back Cover
His was first. In my ass. Read the first page
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Toni Bentley's discovery of the joys of anal sex is told in this book in a way that shows a couple of things. Firstly, that she has a dancer's approach to her body, regarding it as an instrument to be used as effectively as possible, in this case to achieve the best orgasms possible. Secondly, that she is totally unembarrased and matter-of-fact when describing sex acts she has performed so far and the pleasure she got or gets out of them. And of course the practical advice on performing (or preparing for) anal sex comes in handy for those who would like to try it for themselves sometimes. And lastly, that ms. Bentley shows a tendency more often encountered in French female authors toward sublimation and putting her thoughts about her sexual feelings on an intellectual level; possibly thus wanting to make her book more "salonfaehig" for a mainstream readership.
But when sub-heading a book as "an erotic memoir" the idea should be to get the reader as emotionally involved and exited as you as the writer felt yourself when having all those wonderful erotic encounters. And this is where the book falls short in this reviewer's opinion. Graphically descriptive this book certainly is, as well as practical for the novice in the field. But "erotic"? I don't think that reading this book together with your partner will get you both terribly in the mood. On the other hand, it IS well-written and may teach you a thing or two.
But when sub-heading a book as "an erotic memoir" the idea should be to get the reader as emotionally involved and exited as you as the writer felt yourself when having all those wonderful erotic encounters. And this is where the book falls short in this reviewer's opinion. Graphically descriptive this book certainly is, as well as practical for the novice in the field. But "erotic"? I don't think that reading this book together with your partner will get you both terribly in the mood. On the other hand, it IS well-written and may teach you a thing or two.
For a book that is - if not really erotic - at least entertaining, it fully deserves it's 4 stars.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com:
55 reviews
124 of 138 people found the following review helpful
Disappointing memoir of thrilling sex
18 Oct 2004
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
I ordered this book with high expectations. Over the years I've sought out a variety of the classic and not-so-classic examples of the genre, both academic and just for fun. The expression of sexuality Bentley promotes is neither shocking nor abhorrent (millions can attest to this) and her story deserves to be told.
Bentley is a former professional ballet dancer and competent writer and reporter. Her memoir about an intense affair that had as its centerpiece frequent, albeit compulsive (she kept count) anal intercourse seemed like something worth reading.
Instead of "showing," though, Bentley tells - and you understand pretty quickly that Bentley has told her story and explained herself many, many times in many, many therapy sessions. She offers some nuggets of self-analysis that sound very much as if a mental health practitioner came up with them. Her father was cold and difficult to please, pain became a friend, she early on became perfectionist, etc. One is led to believe that it is a given that an old psychic wound is necessary in order for one to enjoy anal sexuality.
The Freudian punning is unnerving.
There is little dialogue in this story and precious little deep feeling. The guy to whom she insists she surrendered is called "A-Man," a cutesy moniker and far cry from the grave dignity of the Stephens and Sirs of the genre.
This is less an "erotic memoir" than a series of descriptions - told by the way in the breathy prose of fashion-magazine reportage - of what she wore and how she looked, the state and the size of genitalia, and where to buy the supplies most cheaply (Costco), of an affair that while undoubtedly wonderfully physically intense and affecting, sounds surprisingly lackluster in the retelling. I was disappointed in this story.
Bentley is a former professional ballet dancer and competent writer and reporter. Her memoir about an intense affair that had as its centerpiece frequent, albeit compulsive (she kept count) anal intercourse seemed like something worth reading.
Instead of "showing," though, Bentley tells - and you understand pretty quickly that Bentley has told her story and explained herself many, many times in many, many therapy sessions. She offers some nuggets of self-analysis that sound very much as if a mental health practitioner came up with them. Her father was cold and difficult to please, pain became a friend, she early on became perfectionist, etc. One is led to believe that it is a given that an old psychic wound is necessary in order for one to enjoy anal sexuality.
The Freudian punning is unnerving.
There is little dialogue in this story and precious little deep feeling. The guy to whom she insists she surrendered is called "A-Man," a cutesy moniker and far cry from the grave dignity of the Stephens and Sirs of the genre.
This is less an "erotic memoir" than a series of descriptions - told by the way in the breathy prose of fashion-magazine reportage - of what she wore and how she looked, the state and the size of genitalia, and where to buy the supplies most cheaply (Costco), of an affair that while undoubtedly wonderfully physically intense and affecting, sounds surprisingly lackluster in the retelling. I was disappointed in this story.
58 of 65 people found the following review helpful
A Graphic Confessional Memoir by this Dancer/Writer
12 Oct 2004
Format:Hardcover
This is Toni Bentley's fifth book about either the world of ballet/dance or her own life. Now in her mid-40's, Ms. Bentley's formative experiences were with her distant father and her years with George Balanchine at the New York City Ballet. "Winter Season: A Dancer's Journal" was her painful account of establishing a new identity apart from the all-consuming world of the NYC Ballet. Now she writes of her quest to create a viable sexual identity for herself.
This focus upon issues of sexuality is nothing new for Ms. Bentley. She wrote a cultural history of a striptease known as the Dance of the Seven Veils in her "Sisters of Salome" (2002). She is an accomplished writer though she occassionally goes over the top.
The reader should be warned that this memoir is emotionally and sexually graphic as Ms. Bentley focuses upon her newly discovered obsession with sodomy. If the reader is uncomfortable with being a voyeur inside Ms. Bentley's bedroom, then this book is not for you.
For Ms. Bentley, she has finally found a form of sexual liberation for her masochistic and self-abasement tendencies. With her personal sexual surrender, she attributes a freeing up of a lifetime of inhibitions, releasing anger toward her father, and discovering a spiritual union with "Paradise."
"The Surrender" is a very intimate and searingly honest account of one woman's search for personal peace. It is difficult to be this honest about one's sexual neediness with a lover or with a best friend -- Ms. Bentley just published her sexual neediness for the world to read.
This focus upon issues of sexuality is nothing new for Ms. Bentley. She wrote a cultural history of a striptease known as the Dance of the Seven Veils in her "Sisters of Salome" (2002). She is an accomplished writer though she occassionally goes over the top.
The reader should be warned that this memoir is emotionally and sexually graphic as Ms. Bentley focuses upon her newly discovered obsession with sodomy. If the reader is uncomfortable with being a voyeur inside Ms. Bentley's bedroom, then this book is not for you.
For Ms. Bentley, she has finally found a form of sexual liberation for her masochistic and self-abasement tendencies. With her personal sexual surrender, she attributes a freeing up of a lifetime of inhibitions, releasing anger toward her father, and discovering a spiritual union with "Paradise."
"The Surrender" is a very intimate and searingly honest account of one woman's search for personal peace. It is difficult to be this honest about one's sexual neediness with a lover or with a best friend -- Ms. Bentley just published her sexual neediness for the world to read.
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
A paean to Anal eroticism!
10 Aug 2005
Format:Hardcover
This is a brazenly revealing first person account of a narcistic ex ballet dancer who, following her retirement and the end of an unfortunate marriage, sets out with huge energy and courage to fully explore all aspects of her libido and sensual proclivities.The graphic details she shares on active and passive oral sex, and ultimately on total submission to extended anal sex to achieve new orgasmic plateaus are wondrous to behold. The story is told with honest motivational insights and more than a little relaxed humor, and whether you approve the action or not, you will find Toni a hugely endearing woman,
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