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The Step-Parents' Parachute: The Four Cornerstones to Good Step-parenting: The Four Cornerstones of Good Stepparenting Paperback – 19 Sep 2005


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Product details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Sphere (19 Sept. 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0316730297
  • ISBN-13: 978-0316730297
  • Product Dimensions: 23.1 x 15.3 x 1.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 657,763 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

Book Description

A guide to step-parenting - how to overcome the problems and pitfalls and make the most of what can sometimes be a fraught relationship. With a foreword written by Dr Miriam Stoppard.

About the Author

Flora McEvedy read History at Oxford University before completing a law degree. She was called to the Bar in 1997, practising family-based law. She is married and has two step-daughters, plus three children of her own.

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

57 of 58 people found the following review helpful By Sharon G on 9 Jan. 2008
Format: Paperback
I have read a number of books on how to improve stepfamily life and each of them have had some positive things to offer, however, none of them have hit all the nails on the head in the way this book has. This book is primarily aimed at those brave souls entering a family as a stepparent, however, I am the natural parent in my stepfamily scenario and I can honestly say that this book has done me the wonderful favour of clearly seeing our situation through everyone's eyes. I now have so much insight into how my children feel and also the emotional rollercoaster my partner is constantly on. This will help me no end! It has given me a deeper appreciation of how complex my childrens' feelings are and how these feelings manifest themselves in their behaviours. It has also given me a renewed admiration and respect for my partner who is trying to make sense of it all. From beginning to end of this book, I time and time again identified with the points the author covered - she could have been writing about us!! This book should be read by everyone already in a stepfamily or thinking about entering one in my opinion!

One last major plus about this book. A lot of the previous books I have read on this subject have been written from an American perspective. I often have trouble identifying with the terminology and over emotional gushiness of American accounts. This book is refreshingly British in its outlook, from the prose to the matter of fact way it deals with the issues, some of which are highly emotional. The author hits just the right note every time.
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47 of 49 people found the following review helpful By M. R. Bentheim on 8 May 2006
Format: Paperback
Firstly I would like to thank Flora McEvedy for her honesty and generosity of spirit. This book will help anyone whose partner has children. I found it when I was desparate. Although I love my partner's children, after 5 years, I was becoming my worst nightmare, a stern, critical, bossy woman ready to erupt at the slightest thing not the warm, empathetic person I aimed to be when I started out. I only wish this book had been available then. The book is very clearly written which it needs to be. It answers the fundamental questions. Who am I in all this? What am I supposed to do? What is my role? How can I contribute in a positive way? How can I help? From my own experience I can say that it is very easy to get lost. It is very easy to get it wrong. This book also helps the biological parent understand all these difficulties. Things are not easy for them either. This book gives you both a strategy. Divorce is a painful business for children and adults. I've come to believe that it is always there for those involved, We can't heal all the scars. This book gives a senstive path through the fall out.

To the author. A second book please focussing on how to meet teenagers' needs
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Hannah C on 13 Jan. 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I ordered this book when I was feeling overwhelmed and low. I was feeling all the pressures of being in a relationship with a man with a child and needed some guidance. There were many things, from many sources, that were getting on top of me but I'm afraid that this book only made me feel worse. I found the constant reminding of my secondclass status unhelpful and felt I needed to focus in a more positive way on the impact I could have as a step-parent. I didn't finish it because I felt it's approach was so negative. I can understand that if my circumstances were different, especially if I was having a difficult time in my relationship with my step-daughter particularly, perhaps my feelings towards it would have been different.
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful By Mrs. J. R. Elliott on 1 July 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have never picked up a book and been so blown away by how much it portrays my exact feelings and emotions. It was as if the author had known me personally. I have not yet finished the book because I find that it its so intensely powerful that I have to take it like medicine, in small doses. While it does expose the darkest emotions of a step parent, jealousy, resentment, guilt etc etc, it also offers simple and easy to follow advice and really makes you look intently at your own behaviour (where usually we would spend our time scrutinising the step kids behaviour!)
I love the realness of this book, its so down to earth. Recognising your own emotions and reactions is never easy. It forces you to look at areas of your personality that you would rather ignore but this book allows you to realise that without confronting these issues you will not maintain a healthy step family. It is also reassuring to see all types of step families across the spectrum included in this book, including custodial step families, non custodial, step parents who arent bio parents themselves, etc. Everyone is included here. I have read some books that are very stereotypical and stick to what society percieves to be the norm- stepmother, father and stepchildren who visit at the weekends. While this dynamic is common I believe we are in an ever changing society and step families come in all shapes and sizes. To conclude, this book is a life saver, a comfort when no one else around you seems to understand your situation and what you think,feel and have to go through on a daily basis. I would highly recommend this book to all step parents!
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Sarah L on 22 Oct. 2010
Format: Paperback
I bought this book at a particularly low point, when it felt like my relationships with both my partner and his young daughter were really starting to crumble. I'd never bought a 'self help' book before but not having any friends in a similar situation, I was on the hunt for some sensible, practical advice on 'how to make things better'. I found that - and much more - in this book, which I think is a must for anybody who becomes a step parent, but particularly for people like me who are woefully unprepared for what is involved!

Probably the biggest strength of the book as far as I was concerned was that it articulated much of what I had been going through, reassuring me that what I was thinking, feeling and experiencing was perfectly normal. It enabled me to see where things had been going wrong - and where, actually, things were going pretty well - and helped me see that there was a way forward. Although never playing down the challenges of the step parent/child/natural parent relationship and the effort involved to make it work, I found the book to be a very positive source of advice and inspiration. I think that most step parents and their partners will find something in the book that strikes a chord and I really can't recommend it highly enough. Well worth a read.
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