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The Step-Parents' Parachute: The Four Cornerstones to Good Step-parenting: The Four Cornerstones of Good Stepparenting [Paperback]

Miriam Stoppard , Flora McEvedy
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)

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Paperback, 19 Sep 2005 --  

Book Description

19 Sep 2005

In a society where 1 in 4 marriages now end in divorce, the traditional model of the nuclear family unit has radically changed. A startling 1 in 10 families in the UK (the statistics are double this in the US) grow up as part of a step family. Yet this phenomenon is still hopelessly unchartered territory, where the image of the wicked step-mother still presides.

Flora McEvedy could find nothing to help her when she became a step-mother at the age of 28 and the unique passion and energy of this book stems from her experiences. The Step-parents' Parachute will endow the reader with a body of instantly accumulated knowledge. Neatly organised, easy to use, practical and positive, this inspirational book will offer a path through a subject riven with negative assumptions and enable the transformation of the step-family into a happy, rewarding and stable family home.

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Frequently Bought Together

The Step-Parents' Parachute: The Four Cornerstones to Good Step-parenting: The Four Cornerstones of Good Stepparenting + How to be a Happy Stepmum + Relate Guide To Step Families: Living Successfully with Other People's Children (Relate Guides)
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Product details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Sphere (19 Sep 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0316730297
  • ISBN-13: 978-0316730297
  • Product Dimensions: 23.1 x 15.3 x 1.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 620,097 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

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Product Description

Book Description

A guide to step-parenting - how to overcome the problems and pitfalls and make the most of what can sometimes be a fraught relationship. With a foreword written by Dr Miriam Stoppard.

About the Author

Flora McEvedy read History at Oxford University before completing a law degree. She was called to the Bar in 1997, practising family-based law. She is married and has two step-daughters, plus three children of her own.

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Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
57 of 58 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read For Anyone In A Stepfamily!! 9 Jan 2008
I have read a number of books on how to improve stepfamily life and each of them have had some positive things to offer, however, none of them have hit all the nails on the head in the way this book has. This book is primarily aimed at those brave souls entering a family as a stepparent, however, I am the natural parent in my stepfamily scenario and I can honestly say that this book has done me the wonderful favour of clearly seeing our situation through everyone's eyes. I now have so much insight into how my children feel and also the emotional rollercoaster my partner is constantly on. This will help me no end! It has given me a deeper appreciation of how complex my childrens' feelings are and how these feelings manifest themselves in their behaviours. It has also given me a renewed admiration and respect for my partner who is trying to make sense of it all. From beginning to end of this book, I time and time again identified with the points the author covered - she could have been writing about us!! This book should be read by everyone already in a stepfamily or thinking about entering one in my opinion!

One last major plus about this book. A lot of the previous books I have read on this subject have been written from an American perspective. I often have trouble identifying with the terminology and over emotional gushiness of American accounts. This book is refreshingly British in its outlook, from the prose to the matter of fact way it deals with the issues, some of which are highly emotional. The author hits just the right note every time.
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47 of 49 people found the following review helpful
Firstly I would like to thank Flora McEvedy for her honesty and generosity of spirit. This book will help anyone whose partner has children. I found it when I was desparate. Although I love my partner's children, after 5 years, I was becoming my worst nightmare, a stern, critical, bossy woman ready to erupt at the slightest thing not the warm, empathetic person I aimed to be when I started out. I only wish this book had been available then. The book is very clearly written which it needs to be. It answers the fundamental questions. Who am I in all this? What am I supposed to do? What is my role? How can I contribute in a positive way? How can I help? From my own experience I can say that it is very easy to get lost. It is very easy to get it wrong. This book also helps the biological parent understand all these difficulties. Things are not easy for them either. This book gives you both a strategy. Divorce is a painful business for children and adults. I've come to believe that it is always there for those involved, We can't heal all the scars. This book gives a senstive path through the fall out.

To the author. A second book please focussing on how to meet teenagers' needs
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars It made me feel there was little hope 13 Jan 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I ordered this book when I was feeling overwhelmed and low. I was feeling all the pressures of being in a relationship with a man with a child and needed some guidance. There were many things, from many sources, that were getting on top of me but I'm afraid that this book only made me feel worse. I found the constant reminding of my secondclass status unhelpful and felt I needed to focus in a more positive way on the impact I could have as a step-parent. I didn't finish it because I felt it's approach was so negative. I can understand that if my circumstances were different, especially if I was having a difficult time in my relationship with my step-daughter particularly, perhaps my feelings towards it would have been different.
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I have never picked up a book and been so blown away by how much it portrays my exact feelings and emotions. It was as if the author had known me personally. I have not yet finished the book because I find that it its so intensely powerful that I have to take it like medicine, in small doses. While it does expose the darkest emotions of a step parent, jealousy, resentment, guilt etc etc, it also offers simple and easy to follow advice and really makes you look intently at your own behaviour (where usually we would spend our time scrutinising the step kids behaviour!)
I love the realness of this book, its so down to earth. Recognising your own emotions and reactions is never easy. It forces you to look at areas of your personality that you would rather ignore but this book allows you to realise that without confronting these issues you will not maintain a healthy step family. It is also reassuring to see all types of step families across the spectrum included in this book, including custodial step families, non custodial, step parents who arent bio parents themselves, etc. Everyone is included here. I have read some books that are very stereotypical and stick to what society percieves to be the norm- stepmother, father and stepchildren who visit at the weekends. While this dynamic is common I believe we are in an ever changing society and step families come in all shapes and sizes. To conclude, this book is a life saver, a comfort when no one else around you seems to understand your situation and what you think,feel and have to go through on a daily basis. I would highly recommend this book to all step parents!
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Step-Parents Parachute 17 Aug 2009
Fantastic book! I bought it as a 'bioparent' to gain some insight into my husband's situation regarding my 3 kids. Sets out everyone's roles and expectations in such a straight forward manner - the sense of relief at letting go of unrealistic expectations is awesome!
Written without any obvious bias towards step, or bio, parents and with no gender biases either.
HIGHLY recommnded to step & bio parents alike!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Great reading
Excellent reading
Published 3 months ago by david nissim
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent help when everything seemed to be going wrong
Bought this for my daughter who has just had her 13 yr old Step daughter move in permanently. My daughter has no children of her own, so has found it really hard. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Average joe
5.0 out of 5 stars The Step-Parents' Parachute
Purchased this for my daughter and she has found it to be a helpful when it comes to making her way through the minefield that being a step parent can sometimes be
Published 12 months ago by K.L Gammond
5.0 out of 5 stars Invaluable
Just buy it - the author will cover every aspect of emotion that you're not doubt feeling and give you some suggestions/tips too. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Joybell101
5.0 out of 5 stars helpful book for stepmothers struggling to cope
this is a really useful and sensible book which addresses the myths about step-parenting and tells you how to cope with the challenges that being a step-parent creates. Read more
Published 20 months ago by tup77
5.0 out of 5 stars life saver.
i wish i knew about this book at least 8 years ago. After reading the first chapter you can relate to most of the sitution. Great book, read this twice already.
Published on 15 Dec 2011 by masi
5.0 out of 5 stars FANTASTIC
What a fantastic book. I've found this so helpful, right from the start of reading it.

So glad that I made this purchase, one of the best books that I now own!
Published on 22 Mar 2011 by NJC
5.0 out of 5 stars A fantastic, well-written book
I bought this book at a particularly low point, when it felt like my relationships with both my partner and his young daughter were really starting to crumble. Read more
Published on 22 Oct 2010 by Sarah L
5.0 out of 5 stars Just what we needed
This book made us realise that our experiences were not unique. Lots of helpful ideas too!
Published on 15 Sep 2010 by Paul c
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read
I have only read half of this book but this is the book that I've been looking for. I've been reading and crying simultaneously as I am finding my own situation so difficult and... Read more
Published on 21 Jun 2010 by Phillipa Brookes
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