The Sexual Paradox: Troubled Boys, Gifted Girls, and the Real Difference Between the Sexes [Paperback]

'The Sexual Paradox - Troubled Boys, Gifted Girls and the Real Difference Between the Sexes' by Susan Pinker - an American Development Psychologist and sister of Steven Pinker who is himself the author of several books related to popular science - is an exploration of the biological differences between the sexes and the implications of these findings in the real world of education and work.

Susan Pinker argues that 'second wave feminism' has promoted the unscientific idea that given the removal of all obstacles, barriers and impediments we as a society should expect no real difference between the sexes. This she describes as the 'vanilla gender myth.' The author notes that since the enforcement of equal opportunity legislation, girls have considerably outperformed boys at every level of education but yet, when it has come to translating these achievements into occupational success (as measured by comparative rates of pay,) men still quite easily come out on top. Pinker identifies the paradox of one gender with higher rates of developmental problems, learning difficulties, behavioural problems, violence, addiction problems and suicide also having greater earning power.

The author also notes that many of the 'troubled boys' she documents in the book who struggled at school with ADHD, Dyslexia and other development difficulties often find their niche in the world of work due to their greater propensity than their female counterparts towards aggressive competitiveness, risk-taking and obsessive single-mindedness. Pinker then contrasts this with the 'gifted girls' who excelled at school, easily outperforming the boys but who frequently choose work that is more service-orientated (less pay) and also choose to have a life as well as a living, working less hours than their male counterparts, taking time off to have children and more frequently turning down promotions or taking positions of lower pay as to add greater flexibility and/or meaning to their lives.

Pinker argues at the end of the book that the idea of all jobs being strictly divided 50/50 is not only scientically naive but also harmfull to women. Pinker contends that a more subtle understanding of sex differences would lead to greater freedoms enjoyed by women and also that 'a society truly committed to redressing pay gaps between the sexes would value and pay as much for skillful teaching and nursing as it does for great plumbing and condo repairs.' It is hard to disagree with her arguments and one hopes that her plea for a greater recognition of the differences between the sexes will not fall on deaf ears. Well-written, readable and fascinating. Reccomended to men and women alike.

This is a well written but accessible book about the fundamental differences between the brains of men and women uncovered by some scientific studies. The author translates the scientific data into readable prose and through real life examples - drawn from the USA, Canada and the UK - shows how the men and women she interviewed make different choices about their lives. The author talked to adults whom she had dealt with a as a child psychologist to find out what they had done with their lives. She also talked to high achieving women who had given up their highly paid and high status jobs to do work which was more fulfilling for them personally though lower paid and lower in status.

What Susan Pinker found was that many of her male patients with ADHD or Asperger's - and these disorders are predominately male - had made a success of their adult lives even though they had found school or university not to their liking. Because of their supposedly male ability to plug away at things and not be defeated they had overcome their disabilities or gone into areas of work where their disabilities were an advantage.

Women who had excelled at school and university and then gone into high powered male dominated jobs because of their abilities were found to have frequently given up their high flying jobs for others which gave them more flexibility and job satisfaction. Women, she found, wanted job satisfaction and time to spend on other interests apart from work and these factors were more important to women than high status and high salaries. Men would do personally unsatisfying jobs because they gave them the status and money they wanted. Women - with generally wider interests than men - had other goals in life. However I do think, having read other books on the subject that the author's examples can only be used to draw conclusions about the individuals she interviewed. It is misleading to suggest that from these examples general conclusions can be drawn about everyone as her study did not include a large enough sample and by definition all had had problems in childhood.

The author points out that women in general take fewer risks than men and because of this fail less often but also achieve outstanding success less often. Men, because of their risk taking tendencies are liable to end up either at the top or totally defeated at the bottom of the heap. But this is of course a generalisation and there will be many variations among individual men and women. Some of the most interesting points the author makes are concerning the idea that there should be a 50/50 male/female split in all jobs. She explains why this is only possible where jobs are allocated by the state - as under Communism. In a world where jobs are freely available and freely chosen people are always going to opt for work which suits their skills and interests. The result may be that there is never a 50/50 split in some jobs and this should be accepted as long as the opportunities are equal, that is all that matters.

Until society values jobs which are regarded as women's work such as teaching, nursing and caring roles generally there will always be a gender pay gap. It is because these jobs are regarded as not needing any particular skills that the pay is less than that in - say - engineering. The author does make it clear she does not believe that the differences between men and women should be used as a means of keeping either sex in a subordinate position. She argues that the whole world of work needs to be revolutionised as it is currently organised on the basis of what suits a predominantly male workforce even though nearly half of the workforce is female.

This is a fascinating book which repays careful study and I think both men and women should read it though I feel it is biased in that it never mentions studies in which minimal - or no differences were found between the sexes. An interesting and well written book based on scientific research and data though incomplete as it does not present the other side of the story as there is no particular consensus among researchers on this subject.

I read a lot of similar topics and found this fascinating. It wasn't completely scientific to the point of dryness but contained numerous case studies which I found made it very easy to read & relatable. I did buy this copy for my brother in law who reads a lot and he thinks its too high brow for him and the type face was too small - Wimp! Well, I don't agree at all. I loved it. The subject matter varies from depression/autism/dyslexia in boys vs. girls, incredibly gifted boys, the gender gap in business, the reason why successful women with children give up on work to focus on family - goes right into the nitty gritty of physiological/hormonal/chemical differences between mothers & fathers - FANTASTIC