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The Selfish Pig's Guide To Caring: How to cope with the emotional and practical aspects of caring for someone [Kindle Edition]

Hugh Marriott
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (98 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Six million people in the UK, often unnoticed by the rest of us, provide unpaid care for disabled or elderly relatives, friends or neighbours. Their job is long, lonely and hard, yet there is limited support and no formal training. As a result, carers suffer frequent damage to physical and mental health.

Oddly, though carers by definition are anything but selfish pigs, they are liable to feelings of guilt, probably brought on by fatigue and isolation. So Hugh Marriott has written this book for them - and also for the rest of us who don't know what being a carer is all about. His aim is bring into the open everything he wishes he'd been told when he first became a carer. And he does. The book airs such topics as sex, thoughts of murder, and dealing with the responses of friends and officials who fail to understand.

This is a must-read for anyone involved with caring.

Product Description


A splendid new books for carers. (THE TIMES)

The reaction from readers of the book has been amazing. (TAKE CARE)

We have needed this book for 20 years. I wish I had been able to read it when I first became a carer (Alison Ryan, Chief Executive, The Princess Royal Trust for Carers)

The book is easy to read, with many amusing illustrations. It is well researched, and looks at the problems faced by carers rather than those who care for someone with a specific disease. (GP)

Book Description

A thought-provoking, informative, very frank but also moving and charming book about what life is like for a carer.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
78 of 80 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Just what a carer needs to read 15 Jan. 2004
By A Customer
Hugh Marriot has made a fantastic job of highlighting issues that most carers probably don't think twice about. He has injected enough humour to make the book a very enjoyable read. He has created a name for the Person I(he) Give Love & Endless Therapy to (P.I.G.L.E.T), and therefore brings a lighter side to the carer's responsibilities - just thinking about it can raise a smile. It becomes clear by reading the book, many of us carers may think that we are selfish for wishing things to be different, but we have no right to do so. We are only feeling what many others are doing in similar situations, so how can we be selfish.
The tales and stories that he relates about his own situation and those of his friends, show the benefits of sharing information, and that, we should all try to do likewise as often as possible. Because Hugh and his 'piglet' live in the uk - his 'frustrations' are those that we can all equate to. Whether they be with social services, or other people's attitudes towards carers and the disabled.
I've read the book through from cover to cover and keep refering back to sections of it. Informative and/or humerous sections of text have now been marked with post-it notes.
Thanks Hugh for spelling out what carers need to hear. We are NOT ALONE - even though we may feel differently most of the time
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring 11 Mar. 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
If you are a carer I urge you to read this book. It isn't about how to claim benefits or how to obtain help from Social Services - though both those subjects are mentioned. It's about the way caring makes you feel - both about yourself and about the person you are caring for. You may think you make all those sacrifices willingly in order to care for your loved one but somewhere lurking under the self-sacrifice is how you feel about losing all the things you enjoy in your own life. Many carers tend to make a virtue out of necessity and realising it's impossible to do the things they used to enjoy just forget they ever enjoyed them.

Constantly bottling up your own feelings and always putting someone else's needs before your own ultimately takes its toll on your own physical and mental health. Your first task as a carer, as this book makes clear is to be a Selfish Pig (SP) because ultimately you have to take care of your own needs otherwise it's impossible to continue as a carer because you will suffer from burnout. It isn't just overworked executives who suffer from burnout. The constant demands from the person you're caring for (your Piglet in the terminology of the book) takes a much greater toll on the carer than many carers realise.

As well as being amusing and having plenty of cartoon type illustrations this book will reassure carers that they are not alone in the feelings of rage, frustration and sadness they may suffer. You want to do the best for your loved one and you can get so caught up in day to day routines that you don't realise how much you miss being independent. When it takes hours to get your piglet ready for a simple trip out it hardly seems worthwhile to even attempt the expedition.
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Therapy for carers..... 18 Jun. 2011
If someone had told me that within 3 or 4 hours of receiving this book in the post...that I would be crying with laughter...I wouldn't have believed it...but I was!
I don't know if it just landed on my mat at the right time (during an exceptionally difficult and sad period of caring), or if it says in a completely different 'way' all the stuff I've already read in every other 'If You Are A Carer...This Is What You Do' type manual...who knows...but it pressed all the right buttons.
It is written 'sensitively'...and, in places, is predictably difficult reading...but the 'text' is peppered with hilarious insights in to the perpetual plight of the reluctant carer.
One reviewer states that 'it has not made (him) in to an SP'..well all I can say is..he (or she) cannot be far 'down the road' in their particular caring journey.
It has managed to put things back in to a bit of perspective for me...and if I need a quick laugh (after emptying the commode for the umpteenth time)...I know that I can find one within it's pages.
Buy it, don't take it too seriously...and be an SP...just for a little while.
Your piglet wouldn't mind.......
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33 of 34 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Common sense and humour 23 Nov. 2006
By Emmsy
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This is a must-read book for all carers. Marriott tells it like it is - he rolls up his sleeves and gets right down to it, even the stuff the other people daren't even whisper about. His style is reassuring and full of good humour and - I don't know how he manages it - he always gets the balance right, so he's helpful not preachy, realistic but not pessimistic. There are lots of good general practical tips, and where he's unable to give specific details, he explains how you can follow up lines of enquiry on your own.

I really think the man deserves a medal for writing this book.
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30 of 31 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This guy's been there! 26 July 2006
By Tom
If you are a carer you're expected by everyone else to be perfect 24 hr a day 365 days a year. Life ain't like that and Hugh Marriot has the courage to admit it.

He is honest about the problems and prepared to suggest how carers can maintain a grip on sanity (most of the time) and loose tempers (rarely) without feeling bucketloads of guilt.

It should be issued to all who apply for a carers allowance. Doctors, nurses social workers OT and others who deal with carers should read it. It will help you and the carer to converse as human beings. It will enable you to converse in the real world.
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