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The Secret Lives of Emails: A Novel
 
 

The Secret Lives of Emails: A Novel [Kindle Edition]

A.J. Ramsey
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)

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Product Description

Product Description

Evil fat cats are on the verge of taking total control of the Internet.

Emal--a naked, friendless, and mostly clueless lost email--doesn't know this. What he does know is that he just woke up in a lot of pain and a brick wall in the middle of his path seems to be the cause. Doing his best to avoid trouble, Emal gets swept up in a corporate conspiracy as well as heated discussions regarding The Terminator, Harry Potter, and the pitfalls of time travel.

The Secret Lives of Emails is "kind of stupid but creative as f**k," says Reddit Reviewer on Goodreads.

A genre blending adventure that promises* to make you laugh out loud.

Guaranteed** to be the funniest book you'll read today.

*Promise assumes you're the type of person who lol's more than others.
**Guarantee assumes you'll only read one book today.

About the Author

A.J. Ramsey writes from an uncomfortable chair somewhere in Michigan. He has been writing in his head, and less successfully on paper, for years. He recently transitioned to writing full-time after years working everything from pest control to customer service. His writings have won zero awards and been on zero bestseller lists. A few of his influences are Douglas Adams, Jasper Fforde, and Joseph Heller. The Secret Lives of Emails is his debut novel. He is hard at work on the sequel, though the first book stands on its own.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 1058 KB
  • Print Length: 205 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1500582530
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Simply Smashing Publishing; 1 edition (14 July 2014)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00LTENCGK
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #1,110,878 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

A.J. Ramsey wrote his first story at the age of six. It was a story about a hot air balloon and . . . not much else. He created his own cover art, and his teacher had it bound.

Complacent after so much success at such an early age, he focused more on playing little league baseball. His career was tragically cut short once people started throwing curveballs. He rediscovered his passion for writing at age eighteen, and attempting to imitate Stephen King to the best of his ability, he was quickly dismayed by how much his talent had deteriorated. He decided to write only in his head until finally, at the ripe old age of 34, he finished a novel.

Don't worry about waiting 28 years for his next books. He plans on releasing more stories December 1st 2014.

His writings have won zero awards and been on zero bestseller lists. A few of his influences are Douglas Adams, Jasper Fforde, and Joseph Heller.

Customer Reviews

4.2 out of 5 stars
4.2 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
If you ever wondered what actually goes on from the very moment you press send, or how from the very slight click of your left mouse button, a page can refresh and almost instantaneously display the information that you are looking for, then be prepared to discover a world, deemed technically invisible, and only visible to those understand binary, then you'll definitely want to read this.

For the author A.J. Ramsey imagination and ingenious plot will take you on a thrilling adventure, by first making you hop through into the lines of internet world, the information highway where you follow Emal, a lost email packet, of whom along the way of trying to discover his purpose, embarks on numerous scenarios that will have you laughing in bits, not to mention the intelligent underlying tone of what and how the internet has evolved into, whilst also hinting of what it may become of one day.

Overall, with brilliantly devised characters and engaging dialogues which take on a technical marvel of their own, this a novel that will have you admiring and looking at the internet from an entirely different perspective.
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4.0 out of 5 stars An original idea 14 Aug 2014
By Bob TOP 50 REVIEWER VINE VOICE
Format:Kindle Edition
I received this free to read and review

What if an email was a person? This is the central idea behind the story Emal the central character is rushing through the internet and on his way he meets other characters all with their own destinations. This is a light hearted story that pokes fun at established organisation and various retailers and people. Some of the characters like the “packet sniffing dog” are amusing in their own right.
An original story, but perhaps too long to be sustained by the single theme.
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3.0 out of 5 stars Mildly amusing for a chapter or so. 20 Oct 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Have you ever wondered what emails would be like if they had lives and personalities? No? Me neither.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars 31 Oct 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
this was different in a very good way
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 4.4 out of 5 stars  5 reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Hitchhiker's Guide for millennials 5 Aug 2014
By Chloe H - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
The Secret Lives of Emails is brimming over with Douglas Adams' influence. Ramsey employs his constant personification, self-reference, and fourth wall destruction - all of which bring a humor and zaniness to the novel while still being intelligent and avoiding slapstick.

Beyond the Adams similarity, Ramsey has crafted a culturally aware humorous journey in pondering the fate of the endless ephemera of the Internet. It plays out like a prose version of a Kingdom of Loathing setting (Google it). Those well in tune with pop culture, memes, and the latest addition to Urban Dictionary will delight in this book, a Hitchhiker's Guide for millennials.
4.0 out of 5 stars Creativity and Humour, Needs Suspense 22 Sep 2014
By Gordon A. Long - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition
Writing a humorous or satirical novel contains an inherent problem. It has to do with human nature; humour is our way of reducing tension. We laugh to assure people that we mean no harm. However, the key technique for keeping people interested in a novel is to create tension. As long as the suspense continues, we want to keep reading. So if the author introduces a laugh, it destroys the tension we have been enjoying. Humour is best enjoyed in smaller bites.

A.J. Ramsay has not quite come to grips with this phenomenon, which is too bad, because otherwise his novel is interesting, creative, and entertaining.

This book is an allegory with several levels. The surface story involves a naked man appearing on a cobblestone street. The metaphor, as we soon discover, is that the man is an email, and the street is the internet. But this email has become aware of his own existence, and so he is jarred out of the route planned for him by a wall of bricks (firewall?) that will not let him reach his destination. Because he is aware, instead of just lying there until he fades away, he goes in search of…himself, his path, the true meaning of his existence. (Did I say this was multi-layered?)

As this Alice-in-Wonderland-like Odyssey continues, he meets all sorts of metaphoric creatures (the internet seems to be infiltrated by lolcats) and people who help or hinder him along the way.
And through it all, we are guided overtly by the author, making comments, asides and footnotes, and above all entertaining us with his creative wit. (We are only four pages into the story when we are allowed to discover that “Nothing is quite as motivating as looking at other people’s bathrooms.” How did we get there so quickly since the naked man appeared on the street? In Ramsay’s world, no problem.

And so Emal continues his journey, at least as much as the author will allow him, taking time out to detour the reader into such topics as the unfathomable size of the internet (and a further detour into the use of the word “unfathomable”) and the relative insignificance of the individual human being, and one solution to this situation, which is running your car into a tree. You get the picture. With side trips into literary criticism (I have to agree with him about the stupid impossibility of time travel novels) and carbon offsets. I mean, what’s an allegory worth if you can’t throw in some handy philosophy or politics? How about Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys?
Anyway, this fascinating and entertaining road trip rolls along, (unfortunately without a great deal of suspense or tension) to its inevitable end. Which I will not reveal, for fear of spoiling the suspense. Lol.

Recommended for those who like off-the-wall humour, and those who think about the nature of the internet (isn’t that everyone?)

I was given an electronic copy of the book to write this review.
4.0 out of 5 stars Original and sometimes funny 26 Oct 2014
By Bandora Fox - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition
This is certainly a different type of novel than I am used to and I give the author points for creativity. I was entertained by his attempts at Douglas Adam's type humor and since I am such a fan of Adams I kept on reading even when I was getting bored and annoyed with the book. Despite the unique humor, it wasn't always funny but it was always odd and different.

This won't certainly appeal to the masses but it will be of interest to internet geeks and Hithchiker's Guide to the Galaxy fans.

I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an unbiased review.
4.0 out of 5 stars An original story 14 Aug 2014
By Bob - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition
What if an email was a person? This is the central idea behind the story Emal the central character is rushing through the internet and on his way he meets other characters all with their own destinations. This is a light hearted story that pokes fun at established organisation and various retailers and people. Some of the characters like the “packet sniffing dog” are amusing in their own right.
An original story, but perhaps too long to be sustained by the single theme.
5.0 out of 5 stars This is hilarious 30 Sep 2014
By Elizabeth - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I love it lolcats a dude in a skirt and self aware bits of data. I really want to believe that the first authors note is fact it would be really cool but that would just be freaky.
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